Essay:The Most Common Misogynistic Tactics

Note: I can't make an account right now due to the account creator being odd. I'm submitting this anonymously for that reason.

Despite their near ubiquity, I have seen that the amount of tactics male misogynists use on the internet to be nearly the exact same between all of them. Therefore, I am writing this, somewhat from rage and annoyance but also because fuck it, I can, to expose them for the frauds they are. I am tired of debating with internet misogynists and dealing with their bullshit. Therefore, I'm writing partially to channel the rage away but also to mock their insane beliefs and constant fallacious reasoning.

If you have any other ideas for Tactics you want me to incorporate into this article, feel free to bring them on the talk page. I want this to be a satirical mockery of them and what they do.

Congratulations! You're a man, and you hate Feminism. Of course, this brings you into conflict with feminists, and soon you find yourself embroiled into arguments with them. What's a rights-denying priveleged fuck like you to do? Why, use these tactics of course! With the help of these, you can successfully feel like you've won any argument, and better yet, angered those merely trying to give equal rights to women!

Basic Tactics

You have three overall things you want to do while arguing: Patronize, Deny, and Handwave:

Patronize: The most satisfying one, of course! At all times, you must act like a complete and utter twat. Talk down to the feminist. Let he or she know that they're actually complete idiots, and that YOU are the smart one. Remember, you must always act smug, conceited, and overly pompous. If called out on this, point out how you're a TRUE REVOLUTIONARY FIGHTING THE FEMINAZIS. Indeed, you should call the feminists as many names as possible. No, it's not “immature”, it's a TRUE MANLY ARGUMENT and completely acceptable. Thankfully, this is pretty easy: just act like a complete patronizing piece-of-shit and carry every one of your words with as much smugness as conceivably possible.

Deny: Feminists have this very annoying habit of actually arguing with facts and data. Of course, all of this data goes against your position, so clearly it means it is incorrect. It could possibly never mean YOU are wrong. That kind of thing doesn't happen. So deny! Completely ignore every single one of these pesky “facts” the feminist gives you. Don't even acknowledge them! Pretend they don't exist! This allows you to remain intentionally ignorant so that you can act as much as a complete fucking idiot as you please. Plus, it pisses people off! Of course, the feminist is getting pissed off because they're just an asshole like that, definitely not because you're being a complete unreceptive fuckwad.

Handwave: Of course, sometimes those damn facts are just too sound to deny. Try as you might, the feminist will eventually pull out something even you cannot ignore. Obviously, you couldn't realize that you're Wrong—that wouldn't be kosher. When this happens, it's time to fall back on handwaving. It doesn't matter how you do it—just do whatever it takes to downplay and brush away their argument. Spend as much time as possible scanning their data for any possible flaw in it. If a flaw doesn't exist, make one up! It doesn't matter if your rebuttal is as fallacious as a Fox News report—fallacies and logic are just dumb things made by dumb people!

Advanced Tactics

Now that you're applying the basic tactics to the “argument” (even though it doesn't resemble an argument so much as you stuffing your hands into your ears and ignoring everything), it's time to delve into advanced tactics. These are the big guns—they're how you will demoralize, dehumanize, bully, slander, attack, and beat the feminist down into submission!

Let's Play Attack The Feminist!

This one's easy: just get some of your misogynist male friends and gang up on the feminist! It's just like how the schoolyard bullies do it! With so many people attacking them and responding to them, they'll inevitably be overwhelmed by the sheer deluge of people beating on them. With this, you can demoralize them extra-quickly. If one of the buddies is starting to feel like the feminist is right, you and the others can quickly bandy around him and brainwash him back into the groupthink.

By bringing so many of your buddies, you can demoralize them by making it seem like nothing they're doing is working. Soon, they'll be forced to give up, and you can go back to your bubble of male privilege and spend time hating women because they won't screw your hateful and ugly self.

Argument Overload

Another simple one—overwhelm them with arguments! The veracity of the arguments is utterly irrelevant—simply overwhelm them with bullshit you pulled straight from your ass! By throwing so much stuff in the way, they'll have a hard time responding to it all, and you can quickly get them to give up by the sheer size of the bullshit they must wade through.

Combined with the above tactic, this can take out even the most resilient one, by having you and all of your buddies blast them with so much information that they get carried away by the tide.

You're Just A Sexist White Knight (Only for Male Feminists)

When encountering the rare kind of feminist that is male, you need some new tactics. You can't just threaten to rape him like you can with women. No, you've got to get new material.

So how's about pulling his own arguments back on him! Say that he's actually just as sexist as you supposedly are, and that he's just trying to get laid by doing this. Remember to utterly deny that a male feminist who simply supports equality could exist—every male feminist simply is a closet sexist who wants to get laid!

Even better, call him an unmanly coward. Who cares that you're operating on a bizarre notion of “manliness” that's utter bullshit to anyone who isn't a fratboy fuckwad like yourself?

They Just Want To Use You (For Male Feminists)

Another great tactic for male feminists. Tell them that the women they're fighting for actually just want to use them, and that they should come over to your side. Of course, this relies on the belief that all women are awful harpies that want to abuse men, which says far more about you than it does the other guy, but hey, you're a misogynist, you're already an illogical idiot.

You Don't Support Male Equality! Point out how feminists only support female equality and want to oppress men! This one's a classic. Remember, you must completely ignore that only a certain kind of feminist, not well-liked by the rest of the them, is like this. Who cares about intellectual integrity like that? This bitch is trying to take away your porn!

Remember, should they point out the falsehood of this statement, Deny and Handwave!

Why Can't You Be Happy With What You Have?

This one's a doozy. Tell that bitch that she should be happy with her second-class citizenship in society! She should just be a good little girl (this is a good example of the Patronize tactic!) and simply Deal With It. This one gets them VERY mad, but's that obviously because they're uppity bitches and not because you just said that they should be happy with oppression and marginalization.

If they point out that this is basically equivalent to telling a black person in the 50's that they should “deal with segregation, and lynching”, get mad and start performing “But That's Not What I Said!”

But That's Not What I Said!

Should the feminist point out how similar your rhetoric is to racists/homophobes/whatever, immediately double back and act like you never said that, and that they're just misinterpreting what you said. If they show you that, yes, you did say that, then act like it didn't happen or defend yourself even harder. Never, EVER, EVER, admit that what you said was fucked up. Always carry an air of “I'm only apologizing because I'm being forced to”. You must remain to appear morally superior at all times!

Bu-But I'm Oppressed Too!

Time to turn the tables! When they inevitably mention how they are oppressed, leap in and start talking about how YOU'RE oppressed too! Bring up an anecdote, really anything (it doesn't even have to be real!), and constantly state that your one small isolated incident (that probably had little to do with oppression) is OBVIOUSLY equivalent to lifelong oppression and marginalization, because you're Special(TM)!

You're Just a Troll

Usually, you've managed to make the feminist mad by this point. If they're still fighting, give them a low blow with this. Call them a troll; it's the ultimate in the thought-terminating cliché. By doing this, you have completely shut down the conversation to any type of rational discourse. After all, you don't debate with trolls! Invalidate EVERYTHING they've said up to this point with one little phrase. It also demoralizes them quite heavily—to put in all that work and then get called a troll is crushing for them. Aren't you just the greatest twat?

U Mad?

Most feminists get angry when you debate them. Make use of this! Blindside them with a good ol' “you mad?” statement. After, they're getting mad because you're right, and they're wrong. You're the good old man in this situation, calming the hysterical woman who needs to get back to the kitchen right then and there. This is one of the best tactics, but it's risky. Use with caution.

You Just Hate Men

Another one as old as the internet. Call that bitch a man-hater! Pretty simple, really. Should they tell you that no, they aren't a man-hater, they just hate misogynists, Deny! You can do this if you try hard.

See, All Feminists Are Assholes

In your mind, you must remember something important: all feminists are the same, actually, all women are the same monolithic block of sub-humans who all think alike. Therefore, use any crazy/wacko feminists as a way to smear the whole group. If they get mad because you're making the hasty generalization to end all hasty generalizations, say that they REALLY believe all that radfem stuff. Ignore any statements to the contrary.

This is also great for dehumanization—make sure to treat women as all the same. After, women could never hold differing opinions. That's only the domain of men!

Stop Using Buzzwords

A very nice one, indeed. Usually, the feminist will throw you truth and facts using a lot of jargon designed to help speed conversation along, like “privilege” and “patriarchy”. Of course, you're a Man(TM), and men don't need to know that kind of stuff! Instead of admitting that you're an idiot, call them out on their “buzzwords”. With this you can call them an idiot who's just using words to sound smart. Remember, you must deny all worth this jargon has in the conversation, as you're an idiot who couldn't be arsed to perform 10 minutes of research. Go Anti-Intellectualism!

You Don't Really Know What You're Thinking

This one bundles dehumanization and patronizing into one powerful slam. Tell that bitch that, as a man, you are the REAL one who knows how she thinks. Deny her any agency and claim to know all of her thoughts. Ignore anything to the contrary. Women don't know what they are thinking, after all. They're all simplistic, childlike, and in constant need of a man to help them through everything.

Wow, you're a disgusting piece of shit.

But that's a good thing!

Conclusion

With all of these tactics (there's more, but they are for a later time), you can win any debate on feminism there is. By patronizing, denying, handwaving, and otherwise ignoring anything contrary to your steadfast belief in male superiority, you too can fight the Evil Feminists(TM).

Take heart! Take pride in how you contribute to women getting raped, getting abused, getting denied crucial rights because they have a vagina. I hope you feel good about being the reason women cannot be sexually liberated, or have an abortion of their own free will, or how they cannot get paid as much as men in equal jobs. Feel good that you help women every day around the world suffer in silent agony due to the crime of having a vagina. Feel good that you, yes, YOU, are the reason 3 billion people worldwide are oppressed daily.

I hope you fucking die.