Essay talk:That midterm raped me

But I think the reason that people say "that midterm raped me" is to emphasize the dismay of realizing that you're powerless to stop what's happening, and the long-term nature of the devastation.

Nah, I think the reason people say that (if indeed they do) is because they think they're being funny & edgy, like as if they were in a Seth Rogen movie or something. While idioms along the lines of "I'd kill for x" or "x is literally killing me" have been around forever, the equivalent rape-based phrases are a fairly recent phenomenon, increasingly common within the last ten years or so, and rather a disturbing one. Wèàšèìòìď^{Methinks it is a Weasel} 02:18, 26 December 2014 (UTC)

Although that's been going on at least since 1980's De Do Do Do, De Da Da Da: "Their logic ties me up and rapes me" Landmartian (talk) 03:02, 26 December 2014 (UTC)

I think there are two different things at play when people casually refer to rape in situations where it's not technically appropriate. 1) Most people will never be the victim of a serious violent crime. So words like rape, murder, massacre ...etc have no visceral meaning for them. It just becomes a form of hyperbole. 2) It's a way to shift the burden of responsibility and paint oneself as the victim. Saying "that midterm raped me" is more self-consoling than "I was woefully unprepared for that midterm". The first makes you a victim of forces largely out of your control. The second is more an admission of "I fucked up", something that many people are loath to do. --Inquisitor (talk) 03:46, 26 December 2014 (UTC)

But (1) isn't true at all. A large number of women do suffer rape at some point in their lives. Wẽãšẽĩõĩď^{Methinks it is a Weasel} 11:47, 26 December 2014 (UTC)

Weaseloid, please reread what I wrote, and then compare it to your reply. --Inquisitor (talk) 16:48, 26 December 2014 (UTC)

OK, I reread it. What am I supposed to have missed? Щєазєюіδ^{Methinks it is a Weasel} 16:58, 26 December 2014 (UTC)

OK, I said "1) Most people will never be the victim of a serious violent crime." and you responded with "But (1) isn't true at all. A large number of women do suffer rape at some point in their lives." Are you fucking with me, or do you not see a disconnect between my original statement and your response?--Inquisitor (talk) 17:15, 26 December 2014 (UTC)

No, I don't see a disconnect. The attitude that rape is just something that happens to other people is bullshit. Maybe it won't happen to you personally, but it will happen to people you know. Wéáśéĺóíď^{Methinks it is a Weasel} 17:35, 26 December 2014 (UTC)

The word "people" is an umbrella category that includes both men and women. As the phrase "violent crime" includes everything from armed robbery to mass murder. Yet you keep parsing out the subset "rape" from my otherwise general statements. If I had intended to focus solely on that specific crime, I would have done so. I have found that a good number of people don't posses the same level of empathy that you and I may have. As such, they have no problem with callously using words that they have no direct experience of. That is all I meant.--Inquisitor (talk) 18:06, 26 December 2014 (UTC)

I'd say the attitude that is bullshit is to use the perception that people from one's own social circle might not be likely to ever be the victim of rape as an excuse for not caring about rape victims. Depending on a host of social, cultural, financial and other circumstances, you might indeed be lucky enough to live in an environment where rape is very rare, but that shouldn't magically make you incapable of understanding that being raped can be a horrific experience and that treating rape victims respectfully is the right thing to do. 141.134.75.236 (talk) 19:53, 26 December 2014 (UTC)

That the people who aren't raped make up the majority doesn't mean the number of them that are isn't significant. The two statements aren't mutually exclusive. 141.134.75.236 (talk) 12:52, 26 December 2014 (UTC)

Are people really avoiding responsibility by saying the midterm raped them? Or are they saying, "I knew better than to walk, without the pepper spray of studious preparation, down that dark alley of organic chemistry, where a challenging midterm might be lurking in wait for a victim such as me, but I did it anyway, and had an unpleasant experience that left me academically wounded." Landmartian (talk) 16:23, 26 December 2014 (UTC)

They're saying "This midterm was freaking hard for me." and possibly implying that it left them somewhat traumatized. I don't think it's always meant as a way to avoid responsibility; some teachers love making their exams a real mindfuck for the students after all. I'm pretty sure almost no one who uses the word that way means to refer to such a detailed analogy like you're suggesting though. 141.134.75.236 (talk) 00:07, 27 December 2014 (UTC)