Fun:Gravitationalism

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The truth about gravity.

Gravitationalists hold that the theory[1] of gravity explains things like planet orbits, humans staying on the ground as opposed to ascending towards God, and things falling when we let go of them. Despite clear evidence[2] that such phenomena could only have come about as the product of an intelligent[3] agency[4], gravitationalists cling to their faith in science, bringing up "empirical evidence", "physics", and so on, not realizing that only scientifically literate people terrorists would invoke such borderline-communist concepts.[5]

Footnotes[edit]

  1. Warning: Gravity is Only a Theory! http://www.bringyou.to/apologetics/p67.htm
  2. Evangelical Scientists Refute Gravity With New 'Intelligent Falling' Theory http://www.theonion.com/articles/evangelical-scientists-refute-gravity-with-new-int,1778/
  3. Said intelligence doesn't HAVE to be God — It could even be aliens, but we prefer it to be the Judeo-Christian God of the Old and New Testaments.
  4. agency, because we're not talking about God here!
  5. It's a well-known fact that terrorists insist to be presented with the "evidence" against them.