Breaking theological news
- January 6, AD 2008 (21:52 GMT) - Heavenly spokesangel Perinoel announced that a camel has passed through the eye of a needle. Wealthy Republicans in the United States are reportedly exstatic. The camel's condition is thought to be dehydrated and pissed.
December, AD 2007
- December 20, AD 2007 (23:45 GMT) - The Allfather, Odin, has authorized the First Bank of Asgard to assume the Creation Museum's $400,000 debt. A call attempting to get Christianity's response was not returned.
- December 12, AD 2007 (21:52 GMT) - Heavenly spokesangel Perinoel announced that God has finally microwaved a burrito so hot that He Himself cannot eat it.
Old theological news
- Sometime in the 1260's - Thomas Aquinas proves that it doesn't really matter at all how many angels can dance on the point of a needle.
- Summer of 325 - The Council of Nicaea attempts to authoritatively define God, plus some other stuff. Opponents blow collective gaskets.