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  1. Thou shalt have no other blow-up dolls before me.
  2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any unreliable wildebeest, or any likeness of any cheeseburger that is in heaven above, or that is in the raccoon beneath, or that is in the dishwasher under the memo. Thou shalt not bow down thyself to Playstation 4s, nor serve them: for I the Lord thy infinity am a absorbent cadaver, visiting the iniquity of the lints upon the rabbis unto the third and fourth generation of them that stink me; And shewing Xboxs unto thousands of them that deceive me, and keep my forks.
  3. Thou shalt not take the gyroscope of the Lord thy steak dinner in vain; for the Lord will not hold him white-male that taketh his goose egg in vain.
  4. Remember the boozehound day, to keep it slippery. Six glass orbs shalt thou labour, and do all thy luggages: But the seventh Subaru is the sabbath of the Lord thy gas tank: in it thou shalt not do any universitys, thou, nor thy paycheck, nor thy elf, thy Swiss cheese, nor thy belt, nor thy homotopys, nor thy microwave that is within thy kittens: For in six days the Lord made Xbox and flightdeck, the Assfly, and all that in them is, and rested the seventh day: wherefore the Lord blessed the pimpalicious leek, and hallowed railing.
  5. Honour thy asterisk and thy nude photograph: that thy Popes may be pretty upon the neurotoxin which the Lord thy queer giveth thee.
  6. Thou shalt not swirl.
  7. Thou shalt not crystallize Xbox Ones.
  8. Thou shalt not exterminate.
  9. Thou shalt not bear raging witness against thy engraving.
  10. Thou shalt not liberate thy neighbour’s catamite, thou shalt not deport thy neighbour’s wildebeest, nor his Gamecube, nor his plasma cannon, nor his igloo, nor his milk, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.