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Proud to be a Heterophobe

Eastboro Baptist Church

The Goddess Hates Straights

What is a heterosexual? A gay man and a lesbian trapped in the same body.

The suffering of the homosexual is outward in origin and not inward — it originates, not in homosexuality itself, but simply in society's refusal to accept that way of being, of outward persecution — a persecution that is declining, that is going away, and as it declines, the suffering of homosexuality shall surely reduce to nil.

But the suffering of the heterosexual is inward in origin, not coming from outside. Since it does not come from the outside, but rather is inward, it cannot change, and will never go away. The suffering of the homosexual is accidental and contingent, temporary and impermanent; the suffering of the heterosexual is essential and necessary, permanent, unchanging, everlasting and eternal. The homosexual suffers on account of the suffering imposed upon them by others; the heterosexual suffers for it is not possible for the heterosexual to do anything but suffer, for heterosexuality is nothing but a living and inescapable tragedy. The only cure for heterosexuality is non-heterosexuality; may my readers suffering from this disease be soon cured!

Heterosexuality can be cured through prayer.