Pensacola Christian College
|Christ died so we could write articles on|
Pensacola Christian College (or PCC) is a
lovely unaccredited institute of higher learning, founded by 1974 by minister Arlin Horton, and located right down the street from Dinosaur Adventure Land. The college has 1500 staff and 4700 students, approximately 1 staff member for every three students. They also run "A Beka Book", a propaganda mill publishing house providing sermons textbooks to Christian homeschoolers the world over.
 Tha rules
PCC follows a "morally sensible" and "educationally efficient" policy of gender segregation. Indeed, any physical contact between members of the opposite sex (evidently including shaking hands) is strictly forbidden. To help students conform to this, all stairwells and elevators on campus are segregated by gender. Patronizing movie theaters or public libraries, visiting the dormitories of the opposite gender, profanity, listening to any music other than pre-approved Christian music, having hair of the wrong length, and off-campus meeting of members of the opposite sex are grounds for immediate expulsion. Additionally, protests and petitions are expressly forbidden, as is possessing, distributing, writing, or reading "unauthorized literature", an umbrella term under which virtually every single book, magazine, and newspaper ever written is generally assumed to fall under, unless a specific exception is made. The eerie similarities between their policies and those of authoritarian regimes like North Korea is ironic as ever, since it is a given that they go to bed at night worried about atheist commies conspiring to take away their "freedom".
As a college of "true" Christians, PCC does not include any coursework that could conflict with a strictly literal reading of Genesis - it teaches Young Earth Creationism and the Great Flood. PCC is not forced to deal with subjects such as evolution. PCC teaches a literal seven-day creation by God of the universe approximately six thousand years ago. PCC also denies Sigmund Freud's work on psychoanalysis.
 A Beka Book
Some highlights from the catalog:
- Science of the Physical Creation — Jam-packed with useful scientific information, such as "evolution is a pile of bunk," "evolutionists are a pack of frauds," "dinosaurs were dragons," etc.
- Science: Order and Reality - A middle school level "biology" "textbook". Published 1993, written ca. 103. Every chapter opens with Bible verses.
- Physics: The Foundational Science — The highlight of this text is its wealth of lengthy historical essays on Men of Science, Men of God; physics takes a real back seat.
- Vocabulary, Spelling and Poetry series — Besides learning words useful in reading the King James version of the Bible (which PCC believes is the only good translation), students are treated to lengthy essays on how, e.g., the "descriptive" school of dictionary writers are spearheading a satanic conspiracy bent on making "evolutionists" out of English speakers.
- Economics: Work and Prosperity — Ostensibly an economics text, actually an anti-communist tract, although apparently the news of the Soviet Union's collapse passed the author by. Not surprising, since he is Russell Kirk, who not only died in 1994, but was not an economist even when he was warm. It should be said, however, that the authors of real economics texts could take a hint from Dr. Kirk's writing style.
- Sex, Love and Romance: Sex Education from the Bible — Probably the only sex-ed book that contains more references to Satan than to semen. A must-read for aspiring misogynists and writers of religious-themed erotica.
- Bible Doctrines for Today - a Bible course text that may also double as bad science fiction. An excerpt: "Some have suggested that as Christ returns, the New Jerusalem, a satellite space city, begins its descent toward the earth (Rev.21:1-2). This event has not gone unnoticed by the sophisticated tracking devices of the world. The armies of the world therefore pinpoint its destination as Jerusalem and gather there to do battle against what they interpret as invaders from outer space."
- A Healthier You - basically, a book on how to be a good God-fearing White Southern Protestant Christian American, with some anti-drug education slammed on. One highlight is an illustrated panel that shows how you can pass a history exam through hard prayer and the Lord's grace.
- Choosing Good Health - similar to above but for a younger audience, also with some basic medicine and first aid stuff slammed on.
 Pensacola Christian College in the Real World
The only employers who have a positive view of an education from PCC are other extreme fundamentalist loons. If a graduate is lucky, they might be able to get hired by one; it helps that the competition in this field is somewhat limited.
 See also
- Order your PCC Student Handbook today!
- A mocking analysis of PCC Rules
- A Beka Book
- Pensacola Christian College Forum
- ↑ http://www.pensacolachristiancollege.com/resources/pcchandbook2001.txt
- ↑ http://www.pensacolachristiancollege.com/rules.htm "There is to be no physical contact between students of the opposite sex, except perhaps on some 'dating outings,' where hand-holding games are played."
- ↑ http://www.pcci.edu/CollegeInfo/Philosophy.html
- ↑ http://www.abeka.com/ABekaOnline/ProductSearch.aspx?grade=&subject=SCIENCE&title=&sbn=
- ↑ Such as these guys : http://www.tracs.org/