Essay:Bee Movie

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(copied by Human from GS' forum post)

I went to see Bee Movie yesterday with my best gal. I just thought it would be a cute little movie, but I was shocked to see that it was actually filled with Lieberal deceit and propaganda.

Warning: There will be spoilers. For example, THE BEES CAN TALK. Of course, you would already know this if you had seen any of the movie trailers, but it was only an example.

1) The bee dates a human woman. Also, there are numerous references to insects having intimate relations outside of their own species. This clearly promotes interspecies sexual relations, which, if left unchecked, would lead down a slippery, lubricated slope to -gay sodomy-.

2) Bees are constantly referred to as having "47 million years of history." This is preposterous, because everyone knows that bees were created by God exactly 6,000 years ago, seconds before He created Adam out of a pile of dust. By the way, what if instead of being seduced by a serpent to pick an apple from the Tree of Knowledge, Eve had instead been seduced by a bee into having HOT ARTHROPOD-ON-WOMAN INTERCOURSE? I don't recall God ever telling Eve not to do that specifically, so we may not have had Original Sin in that case, but.... you know.

3) The bees sue humanity for ownership of their honey. Sorry bees, but this is America. Everything you make or imagine has to be controlled by noble corporate executives, whose stations in life were chosen for them by God Himself. It's the natural order of things. Speaking of natural order...

4) A valiant, God-fearing corporate lawyer is painted as the "villain" and subject to endless amounts of ridicule and bee-on-human violence. There is one scene where a bee knocks a Bible out of his hand and uses it to sodomize him. Well, I can't remember if that was actually in the movie or not, but it sounds right. Anyway, this is no way to treat the moral crusaders who tirelessly give themselves to Christ in order to save us from the evils of the world -- evils such as uppity and unusually sentient insects with a strong sense of entitlement.

5) This is the biggest piece of environmentalist propaganda since An Inconvenient Truth or Happy Feet. When the bees stop pollinating the world's flowers, we are expected to believe that this will somehow commence a domino effect that results in the destruction of the ecosystem? Sorry honeybees, but the market has spoken -- we don't need your commie baloney to keep order on Earth. The last time I checked, that was God's job. PBUH

Haha, but anyway, I tried joking with my girlfriend about the kinds of people (YEC loonies, conservative types in general) who might take offense with certain parts of the movie, but she didn't quite follow me. ...... She's sweet.