Essay:Creationist to Rationalist Translation Guide
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This is not an actual essay but is supposed to be humorous and snarky
| Creationist/Fundie Language | Rationalist Translation |
|---|---|
| The Bible is true because it says it is true | Circular Logic |
| The world should be ran under Christian law | Freedom is evil and people are not allowed to have independent thoughts |
| Evolution is religion and cannot be proven | Religion is based on hard science |
| Gays are evil because the bible says so | We take some bible verses then distort them to fit our political agenda |
| Science was wrong before | i.e God of the Gaps argument |
| Rock Music is sinful and the Devil's music | We don't like it so you cannot like it |
| Marriage must be biblical in nature | This means marriage must go by what a book says and it must be unhappy |
| Women are meant to serve men | Women are objects and have no feelings or opinions |
| Science is evil | Science is evil unless it benefits us |
| Family Values are important | What we mean is, you have no choice on your spiritual path, you must follow someone's individual take on Christianity and abuse is okay |
| Sex outside marriage is sinful | You must ignore all biological instinct |
| Creationist approach to scientific research | Distorting the scientific method to fit predetermined conclusions |
| The bible is literal | Only when convenient and lets ignore the ban on shrimp |
| Non-Christians are wrong | i.e Ignore any bible verses about being judgemental |
| Education from a Biblical worldview | We must shove religion into every academic subject |
| God loves us all | Except any non-Fundie Christians |
| There are signs of the apocalypse occurring | We ignore the fact that natural disasters occur from time to time |
| No questioning authority | Because finding out why something is being done is evil |
| You must not question the Bible | Because independent thought and critical thinking is terrible and sinful |
| Transgender is against God, God does not make mistakes | We have no specific bible verses on the subject but transgender is wrong anyways |
| Paganism is evil and they must be converted! | Believing in multiple Gods in wrong but we take Pagan holidays and customs then say they are Christian |
| Right to Die is wrong, life is precious | We want to force people to accept our views and allow them to suffer from disease where they will die anyways |
| America is a Christian nation | But we ignore the constitution and what it says (such as, "Congress shall not respect the establishment of a religion or prohibit the free exercise there of") |
| The Earth is 6000 (or 10,000) years old | We examine geological knowledge, take bits and pieces from said knowledge and mix it in with religious quackery. |