Essay:Religious apologetics explained

Here is a box. Inside this box is a million pounds. Yes, a real £1,000,000. Oh, in what denominations, you say? Doesn't really matter, it's just a million pounds, a million pounds is a million pounds whether it's in coins or notes, right? Look inside you say, well, no you can't. You can't look inside. Well, because I said so, that's why not. Can't you just trust me that there's a million pounds in there?

Well, you can't look inside. There's a lock on it. Okay, yes, I just put the lock on there but since you weren't allowed to look inside anyway the lock has technically always been there. Really, it has. Actually, the lock has always been there, it's just your imagination. Oops, sorry, lost the key. It's quite a sturdy padlock, never mind. But there's a million pounds in that box. Isn't the box shiny and nice, very expensive wood it's made from too... okay, fine, that's beside the point. But the lock is there... no, get away from me with that bolt cutter dammit. That's just cheating.

Besides, it wouldn't do much good. You can't open the box anyway to see my million pounds. The box can't open. Hasn't been able to be opened ever. It's not really one of those "openable" boxes. Hinges? Oh, those are imaginary. They're not real hinges. See, they're sealed shut, they're fake. It's only an illusion that the box can be opened. Look, do you want this million pounds in exchange for your house and car or not? What? Of course the money is in there. I told you it was in there. You can look after you've given me your house keys. Actually, don't, just take it to the bank and tell them what I've told you. They'll accept it. Really... No, of course I can't take it to the bank and exchange it for visible money. That's not the point.

Do you want the box or not? I think you'd be stupid not to take the box. Think about it, there's a million pounds in there. Why would I lie? Do you want to take the risk that I'm lying and pass up a million pounds? Look... wait, what the hell is that chisel doing there? I said to stay away from me with that chisel and hammer. My box! Stop it... look, this is just plain rudeness. I've told you there's a million pounds in there, why do you not want it? Do you hate money? Look, the chisel isn't going to help you. Stop it. That box is expensive. What do you have against boxes? Stop it. I said stop it!

Stop!

Look, there's a million pounds in that box. No, you can't smash the box open because chisels and hammers don't exist. Things that can open the box don't exist because you can't open the box. Oh, the tools that made the box, they exist. But that's different. You can't use them to open the box, though, only I can use it.

There's still the money in there if you want it. No, the wrecking ball isn't going to help either...

Oh...

Okay...

No, you didn't just show the box was empty! You can't prove there wasn't money in the box before you smashed it. There was always money in the box. There still is.

Okay. Let's try this again.

Here is a box. Inside this box is a million pounds. Yes, a real £1,000,000...