Essay:The Great RW Conservative Novel

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So, in the spirit of every right-wing wannabe author nutcase crawling out of the woodwork to pen a novel touting whichever conspiracy theory is flavour of the week, the vast creative sub-conscious that is RationalWiki, have pooled their resources to pen the Great Conservative Conspiracy Novel.

Please feel free to contribute as you see fit.


USA 2020. The country is in the grips of election fever. However, the incumbent Republican President is facing an uphill battle. Despite a booming economy, fuelled by the end of the Middle East War, which resulting in the annexation of Iran, Iraq and Saudi Arabia under US control and record low oil prices for the US market, the country has seen an unexplained shift to the left. Both the House and Congress are controlled by a coalition between the Democrats and the new, ultra-leftist Congress of the People. Their Presidential candidate is leading the poles, despite a blatantly socialistic agenda, which includes the nationalisation of key industries.

Meanwhile, in Arizona, an employee of the State Governor, picks up a discrepancy in the CoP candidate's birth certificate. He tries to raise this issue, first with fellow staff members, then State officials and finally the media, but is met with a surprising wall of resistance and silence, before being summarily fired from his job.

That night, armed men break into his house, drug him and carry him away. he wakes to find himself in a secret compound, hidden away in the CoP candidate's home State. It turns out that all potential dissidents are being rounded up and brought here. As they speak amongst themselves, they piece together a massive conspiracy involving mind control, labour camps, eugenics, economic servitude an the fact that the CoP candidate is a deep-cover Muslim mole, activated to ruin America, in revenge for what they did to the Middle East.

Our hero and a small band escape, and eventually make use of the television evangelists to spread the word amongst God fearing citizens, who rise up and take control of the US, turning it into a conservative utopia and even Democrats realise their policies were evil and had been manipulated by the CoP.

So, what think you?

About the outline: I'd change the scenario to a bleaker one, in which the US is already suffering from several problems arising from socialist policies, but leftists are just about to convince the general populace that even more radical ones are needed. Sort of like the Overton Window's apparent plot (didn't someone here read that one?). The current Republican President should be a good-natured, compromising, turn-the-other-cheek paragon of virtue, who is unfortunately too naive to recognize that the Democrats in congress are acting in bad faith and managed to enact laws that are purposefully designed to be harmful, while managing to shift most of the blame on the hapless administration. They've also staffed key positions in government agencies with their allies, and the mindless government worker drones are all died-in-the-wool socialists anyway. The election process is already underway and in the primary stages, with the presumptive Democratic nominee already anointed by the party elders and without serious opposition. On the Republican side, there are a lot of RINOs who have arranged themselves with the leftist trend and refuse to stand up for conservative principles…except for one guy, a daring young senator from New Jersey who managed to have his predecessor recalled, but only to discover the extent of corruption in Congress. Unfortunately, his staunch conservatism has made him the prime target for the leftist lamestream media who try to paint him as the radical, and he's struggling in the polls. With the electoral process marred by propaganda and fraud, our unlikely heroes try to stake out a path between open rebellion and lawful campaigning, all to ensure that the rightful king President may rule the nation. Röstigraben (talk) 10:31, 15 May 2011 (UTC)

The story[edit]

"It was a dark and stormy night. Ponsonby Harrington-Smythe, District Commissioner of Coast Province, Kenya, opened the envelope containing his secret instructions. he was surprised to see that the envelope also contained a blank birth certificate from Hawaii." good start? Or should I stick to programming drum machines? Totnesmartin (talk) 09:54, 15 May 2011 (UTC)

Hmmm... How about "The day dawned hot, dry and dusty, with no respite from the blistering drought, despite it being the third day of the Governor's Pray for Rain campaign." Also I hate you forever for opening with IWADASN.