Essay:Translation: Rules of Chivalry for Students

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Cgb was in rare form when shitting this out...DON'T FUCK IT UP.

Aschlafly's Original Essay

Teenagers (and adults) would benefit from a bit more chivalry in their behavior. For students, here are some suggested guidelines:

Cgb's Translation

Adult men would benefit from more chivalry in this world...just look at how well the ones in caves with tin foil on their heads are doing. We should be more like them.

Boys[edit]

1. When you see a girl carrying something heavy, offer to carry it for her.

2. Stand up when a girl or woman enters the room.

3. Speak in a respectful manner in front of a girl.

4. Be appreciative when girls bake cookies for the entire class.

5. Compliment girls (appropriately).

6. Refrain from staring, commenting or whistling at attractive girls.

7. Open doors for girls.

8. If on a date with a young lady, behave with respect and decorum.

9. Offer to purchase tickets or meals for girls, and develop a work ethic to provide money for that

Boys[edit]

1. When a girl is carrying her stuff out the door when leaving you, DON'T LET HER TAKE IT!!

2. It is much easier to take off one's pants while standing. When a sex object woman bitch enters the room, stand, as to make the removal of pants much easier for her.

3. Talk kindly while giving her the bitch slapping she deserves for being born a woman bitch.

4. Expect women to bake cookies for the class (every class). If no cookies are present, commence slapping the bitch.

5. Tell the bitch how hot she is.

6. Staring, commenting or whistling at attractive girls scares them away...just cop a grab when you like. She just a woman, after all.

7. Open doors for a bitch, but make sure to close it on them from time to time (just so she remembers who's boss(remember, women are dumb and cant remember things for long...so be sure to do this often)).

8. When in public act like a gentlemen. You really don't want those pesky libural police showing up at your door after slapping your bitch keeping your woman in line in public.

9. Buy shit for her so she won't go out and become independent. If they get the feeling of independence, they can leave you for merely punching their lights out!!!

Girls[edit]

1. Put your superior social skills to good use by welcoming others.

2. Do not attempt to embarrass a boy, as in trying to beat him in arm-wrestling or bragging that you did better on a test.

3. When a boy does help you, as in carrying something or opening a door, thank him.

4. Avoid gossip.

5. Dress modestly, not provocatively or suggestively.

6. Avoid profanity.

7. Only agree to date those boys of whom your parents have approved.

Bitches[edit]

1. Blow the man when you see him. Don't wait.

2. Men are your backbone, their weakness is your weakness. All that matters in this world is what others think of you man, so do everything you can to make him look good.

3. When a man tells you to stop taking your stuff out the door, you best listen to him, bitch.

4. Don't talk to other women. You are your man's bitch and you belong in the kitchen.

5. Don't express yourself publicly in any way, shape or form. This libural value is harmful to your man.

6. Only speak when spoken to.

7. Do what your daddy tells you, else you will be raped again.