Fun:A series of how-to's
This will be a near exhaustible list of guides, how-to's, walk-throughs, whatever. This is a community project so add whatever you like.
How to write a song
- . Buy a piano. (Skip this step if you already have one)
- . Sit at your brand new piano.
- . Press keys until they make nice sounding noise.
- . Arrange these noises into motifs, melodies, and cadences.
- . ???
- . Profit
How to be a rock and roll star
How to play real life
1. Wait until two people have sex
2. Wait 9 months until you are born.
3. Shit in your pants for around 4 years.
4. Begin tutorial at the most basic level: Pre-School
5. After 2 years begin the second tutorial level:Kindergarten (this is the shortest tutorial section)
6. Begin the 3rd tutorial level: Elementary School.
7. After 4 years begin 4th tutorial level: Middle School/Jr. High (you will begin to notice that the tutorial is extremely long)
8. After 3 years begin 5th tutorial level: High school (On your first visit to this level you may get spanked with paddles. Don't worry, this is normal.)
9. Choose whether or not to enter the optional tutorial level: College. (you're going to want to go through this tutorial to get the better jobs.)
a. If you chose to go to college then get a job, after you get a job its grinding until the end of the game.
b. If you chose not to go to college, then you have to settle for one of the lower end jobs. These jobs include: Janitor, Burger flipper (mcjob), Prostitute, or drug dealer (this is the only lower end job that pays decent money, however when playing this job you have a high chance to aggro the police).
11. Grind for about 40 or so years
12. Retire (end game) and live it out the rest of the game in a Retirement home with sexy nurses (if a man you will have to take a blue pill if you want to have sex with someone at this point, if a women you won't be able to become pregnant due to a game mechanic known as "menopause")
How to develop an early access game
1. Get 1337 pr0gr4mming ski11z
2. Begin development on a game of your choosing. (Sandbox games have the highest chance of success)
3. Go through steam green-light process
4. Once your game is released continue to make updates for it.
5. After a about a year, when people are wondering whether or not you're even going to release the game, suddenly stop updating it but leave it in early access.
6. Profit (guaranteed after you get accepted for steam early access.)
How to make a hit movie (Executive Producer instrucs)
1. Acquire a prodigious amount of money.
2. Buy a good script.
3. Hire a good director.
4. Get the director to hire everyone else.
- 4a. Make a rule that the cast has to include at least one person you want to fuck.
5. Let everyone do what they do.
6. Fix the accounts so nobody actually gets their percentage payouts.
7. Walk on stage to accept the Oscar.