Fun:Conservapedia, The Musical/Jesus Christ Uber Alles

Ed Poor

These liberals like to say things that

I don't understand

Their talk of “facts” and “evidence”

Gets so out of hand

I’m sure we’ll manage better

Once their posts are banned

C’mon, you homeschooled faithful, let’s

Give Andy a hand!

Conservative

Soon Conservapedia will reach the whole nation

We’ll defeat the atheists through mass communication

(Turns to berate atheists and Godless heathens—basically, everyone on stage except the CP

sysops)

Don't you know you’re wrong? Don't you know you’re wrong?

Don't you know you’re wrong, now? Don't you know you’re wrong?

Don't you know you’re wrong? Don't you know you’re wrong?

Don't you know you’re wrong, now? Don't you know you’re wrong?

(“Atheists” start to point out the evidence that supports their views; Conservative turns angrily away, covering his eyes.)

I don’t want to know! I don’t want to know!

I don’t want to know, now! I don’t want to know!

I don’t want to know! I don’t want to know!

I don’t want to know, now! I just don’t want to know!

(At this point, Andy descends onto the stage dressed as an angel...since he is, after all, God’s chosen and favored one.)

Andy

Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ

Science and logic we’ve sacrificed!

Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ

For us, the Bible alone sufficed!

Andy, Ed, and Conservative

Jesus Christ

Uber Alles

We’ll fight against atheist cabals!

Jesus Christ

Uber Alles

Leading our hordes of homeschooler thralls!

Andy

I’m so awfully glad

That I’m your friend at the top

Now don’t you think my sysops

Are the pick of the crop?

Karajou, he’s where it’s at,

And Ken is a star

They know Wikipedia

Is liberal PR!

And they know they never should

Admit a mistake or

Trust in anything that’s said

By atheistic fakers!

(Andy, Conservative, and Karajou) (berating the unbelievers)

Don't you know you’re wrong? Don't you know you’re wrong?

Don't you know you’re wrong? Now don't you know you’re wrong?

Don't you know you’re wrong? Don't you know you’re wrong?

Don't you know you’re wrong? Now don't you know you’re wrong?

(RobS, Ed Poor, and TerryH) (recoiling from offered biology textbooks and science journals)

I don’t want to know! I don’t want to know!

I don’t want to know! Now I don’t want to know!

I don’t want to know! I don’t want to know!

I don’t want to know! I just don’t want to know!

(All)

Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ

Science and logic we’ve sacrificed!

Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ

For us the Bible alone sufficed!

Jesus Christ

Uber Alles

We’ll fight against atheist cabals!

Jesus Christ

Uber Alles

Leading our hordes of homeschooler thralls!

Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ

Science and logic we’ve sacrificed!

Jesus Christ

Jesus Christ

For us the Bible alone sufficed!

Jesus Christ

Uber Alles

We’ll fight against atheist cabals!

Jesus Christ

Uber Alles

Leading our hordes of homeschooler thralls!