Fun:Conservapedia, The Musical/Lenski

This Conservapedia-related article is of largely historical interest and is no longer the focus of RationalWiki today. Conservapedia (and religious fundamentalism to an extent) was a major focal point in the early history of RationalWiki, but long ago ceased coming up with new ways to appall and amuse. Our energies are now spent debunking other, fresher examples of pseudoscientific claims, authoritarianism, and deceit. For RationalWiki's less ancient content, try the Best of RationalWiki.

LENSKI

(To the tune of “Memory,” from Cats)

Midnight

Andy lurks in his basement

There he broods about Lenski:

He is brooding alone

In the lamplight

He reads evolution’s occurred in the lab

And then he begins to moan

“Lenski!

You’re so evil in my sight!

How I long for the old days

‘Ere this “science” began,

I remember

The time I knew what happiness was

Let the memory live again

Conservapedia’s elite,

To them I’ll sound a warning!

Asassination

Of his reputation

Yes! Now

My plan is forming!

Data!

Give me all of your figures!

Though I’ve not read your paper,

Still I’ll never give in!

If you don’t, then

We’ll harass and intimidate you

And we’ll do it ‘til we win

We know more about the truth

Then Darwinist believers:

Give us your cultures,

Or we’ll lurk like vultures

And call you a deceiver!

You’ll see! Or my name isn’t Schlafly!

I’ll defeat Dr. Lenski,

And I’ll crow when I’ve won!

I’ll claim victory

Regardless of how foolish it is:

Look, a new rant has begun!