Fun:Disaster Movie

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Truly awful "science" is used in virtually every disaster movie. Why let hack writers make you facepalm Facepalm when you can embarrass yourself with much worse sciencing? Contribute if you watched a disaster movie and fume at the way writers, directors and producers whimsically rape your intellect. Here's start:


Presidential aide rushes into the Oval Office at 3:00 am

Aide: Mr President! The Eastern Hemisphere just got fried by a Supernova!

President: Why the hell didn't we see this coming?

Aide: Well, gamma rays travel at light speed and…

President: Why the hell didn't we see this coming?

Aide: You see, light speed is…

President: Why the hell didn't we see this coming?

Aide: …uh, our detectors must have malfunctioned. The important thing is that our particular hemisphere will face the deadly rays within hours.

President: And who let this happen?

Aide: Apparently the planet turns and stuff.

President: [steely resolve] Not if I can help it!

Meanwhile, in a lonely trailer deep in the Nevada desert, a quirky and reclusive computer genius called Hans becomes the first person to notice that half the world just got fried.

Hans: What the…? Half the web is down! This looks bad. I better hack the President's email and see what's going on.

[Hans pounds a few keys and the camera pans to his computer screen to show his secret hack through the tubes (you literally see tubes) in high resolution graphics. His computer beeps like an 1980s Macintosh and then a female voice announces "access confirmed" while the screen shows a large blinking window that says "access confirmed"]

Hans: [with smug geeky sarcasm] Geez. Make it easy next time, POTUS.

Don't see also[edit]

  • Disaster MovieWikipedia — a parody of the disaster movie genre and literally one of the worst movies ever made. Seriously. Spend the money on something else, like pie, or donate it to a charity campaigning to send Friedberg and Seltzerof behind bars for life.

See also[edit]