Fun:How to sacrifice articles to the elder gods

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A common practice in religion is to pay homage by sacrifice. Be it gold, animals, food or humans sacrifice is a common practice in religions. The Elder Gods, naturally, accepts all forms of sacrifices even if it is an encyclopedia article. This guide is for those who want to know "how" an article should be sacrificed.

Finding an Article[edit]

The Elder Gods accepts all forms of encyclopedia articles but the more truth-denying they are, the better. The Elder Gods greatly enjoy devouring humanity's idiocy and lack of rationalism. As a guide, articles on Christianity, conservatism, and science have the least amount of essence and are thus greatly appreciated by the Elder Gods.

Preparing the sacrifice[edit]

The article should ideally be filled with fear before the rite itself. Preparing the article by subtly changing one (or some) of its links to or That should get the article to start panicking. If it is impossible, this step can be skipped.

Preparing the altar[edit]

The altar (ie. the computer) must inhabit the spirits of the Elder Gods at the time of sacrifice. This can easily be arranged by changing your wallpaper to this picture.

Performing the Sacrifice[edit]

Once every step is completed the sacrifice goes in these steps:

  • Delete everything
  • Insert the headline "THIS PAGE HAS BEEN SACRIFICED TO THE ELDER GODS" (yes, in caps)
  • Below, write: lä, lä Cthulhu Fhtagn
  • If possible, insert this image
  • And finally, insert the prayer: "Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn." as many times as you like (the more, the better).

After the sacrifice[edit]

If this result in a ban: congratulations, your sacrifice was made successfully. Your are now entitled to the following benefits:

  • You might be eaten first