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Money is a medium of exchange. It can take several forms including paper currency and coins.

The Bible says, Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, or any likeness of any thing that is in heaven above, or that is in the earth beneath, or that is in the water under the earth. (Exodus 20:9). Therefore Christians are urged to avoid the use of coins, which have graven images on them. Graven images are an abomination unto the LORD.

Paper money is no better as it contains photographs of dead presidents, which are also graven images.

In addition, Jesus said, Render unto Ceasar the things which be Caesar's, and unto God the things which be God's. Clearly, then, Christians are not to handle money at all. Jesus was saying here that money is something of Ceasar, and for Christians to rid themselves of it.

Good Christians wishing to rid themselves of this abomination in a Biblical manner may send it to my attention at P.O. Box 6000, Stump Crick, West Virginia 10291-F MUMFUMBO, NEW GWENSON 0420 FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA (BE SURE KINDLY TO ASK THE POSTAL OFFICE TO ROUTE THIS VIA THE UKRAINE), and I will make sure it is disposed of in the appropriate manner. I also accept PayPal and Bitcoin.

"Money laundering" is the act of accidentally leaving a dollar bill in your pocket and then putting said piece of clothing in the wash. This practice is illegal! If you find a crumpled, faded dollar bill in your pants pocket after taking it out of the wash, turn yourself in at the local police station immediately! Violators may expect swift prosecution and indefinite detention at Guantanamo Bay, Cuba under the money laundering provisions of the USA Patriot Act and the Homeland Security Act.