Information icon.svg Results for the 2023 RationalWiki Moderator Election have now been posted. Thank you for participating in this election, and congratulations to the winners!


From RationalWiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
We're goin' nowhere mighty fast.
—NASCAR marketing slogan
I can't get right.
—Alternate slogan
So, er, you really like Tide, eh?
—A confused Canadian NASCAR passenger

Imagine driving several hundred miles at a very high rate of speed over the course of a few hours. Now imagine that after having done all of that, you end up in the exact same place that you started from. If you are feeling shame at these thoughts, then you understand NASCAR.

Driving in NASCAR is the grown-up equivalent of those jobs where you stand on the street corner, wearing a board that reads, "Sale at McMahan's Furniture Store!" or wearing a hot dog suit and shouting, "Ask me about my weiner!" It is an upgrade, however: where previously you could only shamelessly whore for one business at a time, now you can efficiently sell your dignity to hundreds of businesses — simultaneously!

How to succeed in NASCAR[edit]

Repeat 800 times:

  • Go fast
  • Turn left
  • ?
  • Profit!