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- Baby Philosophy: If it stinks, change it!
- Cat Philosophy: When in doubt, cop an attitude!
- Dog Philosophy: If you can't eat it or screw it, piss on it.
- Frog Philosophy: Time's fun when you're having flies!
- Conservative Philosophy: Do unto others (period!).
- Murphy's Philosophy: Smile — tomorrow will be worse!
- Potato Philosophy: I think, therefore I yam!
- Hitchhiker's Philosophy: Time is an illusion. Lunch time, doubly so.
- Objectivist philosophy: A is A, therefore free markets!