Fun:Politics of beer

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When drinking beer, or indeed any alcoholic susbtance, continuously over an extended period of time, one can exhibit any of the following traits;

-more annoying in general;

-more outspoken on certain topics, such as the climate, the internet, pornography, politics;

-more emotional, specifically showing strong love for some or outspoken hate for others;

-unconciousness, passing out on the table or getting knocked out by some guy twice one's size;

-quieter, unable to say or do anything;

-experiencing difficulty standing;

-more aroused, finding ugly people seemingly attractive;

-depressed mood, may wonder what you're doing in life;

-more impotent (men only), finding it difficult to get or maintain an erection.

Here are the broader categories in a bit more detail.

Annoying and emotional[edit]

Loud[edit]

If you're with an old friend who has been drinking heavily, chances are they're going to start getting really annoying, coming up to you and telling you that you're their best friend and they are in love with you a little bit. This varies with person to person; some people may blunder up to you in a drunken stupor and tell you how much you mean to them while others will be sitting quietly at a table saying subtly how you've been such a good friend to them. It is also possible that the person may start crying. This is often repetitive throughout the night and will continue unless you shove your friend in a cab and send them on their way.

Quiet[edit]

As mentioned, a friend can remain at normal speaking levels when drinking, although they will almost certainly become more emotional. This is considerably less annoying than the loud, blundering approach mentioned above, but can be quite boring if they aren't doing much.

Depressed[edit]

It is also possible that a friend may become depressed when drinking; this usually comes with the quiet reaction, but a loud friend can be depressed too, screaming about their pain and whatnot. Depression is like an infectious virus, and you should tell your friend to get their life in gear or shutup complaining about it because it's pissing you off too.

Libido[edit]

Attractiveness[edit]

After enough beers, a goat may seem attractive to some men. Alcohol makes people appear more attractive and increases levels or confidence (naturally it's opposed by Christians) which may lead to embarassing situations possibly culminating in vomit from you landing on someone else. If you last long enough to actually pull someone, make sure you have a condom handy.

Impotence[edit]

It can sometimes be harder to get an erection after a heavy night's drinking.

Don't say we didn't warn you.

Physical changes[edit]

Vomit[edit]

Depending on how one takes alcohol, harsh vomiting sometimes occurs to rid the body of excess alcohol. This is incredibly unpleasant, and I recommend you find a toilet or go outside to do it. However, the after feeling is delightful.

Unconciousness[edit]

Excess alcohol can cause the brain to shut down, making you pass out where you are. If you're in a sitting position, this can be hilarious for your friends watching you. Alternatively, you can be knocked unconcious by someone else if they found you in some way annoying, offensive, or eyeballing their woman.

Outspoken views[edit]

As mentioned above, alcohol can make one louder and gives one more confidence, and as such has been known to lead some people into speaking out various viewpoints. Specifically, one may show themselves to be an ultra-liberal or a die hard conservative, showing strong support for one leader over another. Interestingly, this can lead to political debates and you may find that you can get your point across in a more meaningful and coherent way. For this to work, however, the other person has to be equally drunk. This too is hilarious for bystanders.

Conclusion[edit]

Beer is funny.