Announcing a course in Theresian™ Mathematics
- The basic premise of Theresian™ Mathematics is: 1+1 = a wooden banana as laid down in the Book of Terry©, as opposed to the populist 1+1 = 2 promulgated by mathematicians. NB: Any other number may be substituted at any future time without notice.
- Only statements which agree with this premise shall be allowed in the course and the mere fact that any (trivial) real world observation disagrees with it shall not be allowed to alter any conclusions.
- Persons found to be arguing with this premise shall be argued into the ground by staff members qualified as Ignorami, who shall include the proprietor and selected acolytes.
- It should be noted that the Ignorami have the power to dismiss persons from the class without recourse to logic (see premise  below)
- Logic shall be outlawed as it disrupts the flow of "stoo-pid-ity" in the cerebellum of the instructors.
- Parallel lines shall either meet or not as the whimsy takes the Ignorami.
- Prime numbers shall not be spoken of under any circumstances.
- Should a member of the Ignorami feel it necessary to mention them (prime numbers), penalty payments shall be made at the nearest available branch of the Flat Earth Society.
- All odd numbers are multiples of one of 2, 3, 5, or any other number that we may substitute at the last moment without notice.
To qualify for this course, applicants must demonstrate that they have had all reasoning powers surgically removed or otherwise nullified either by drugs or indoctrination (which latter is the preferred method).
Non-holders of credence in the 5 axioms above shall be permitted to address the student body but shall be censored in any actual classes.
Contributions from suitably qualified persons (or whan kahs, as believers of the 5 axioms are known) to the course are welcomed.
- Note that: under no circumstances are the numbers 42 or 666 to be used as the sum of 1+1.
- Well, duh!
- This variability is required in order to demonstrate the viability of the following premises.
- This is, of course, a direct result of the application of axiom , but bears individual mention.