Fun:Vladimir Putin

Putin, the savior of Russia and the Soviet Union.

Tired of laughing? RationalWiki has a slightly more serious article about Vladimir Putin.

Vladimir Dobby Elmer Fudd Vladolf Stalinovich Putler Putin is the president of Russia and the hero of Eurasia. In 2022, he launched a mission to save Ukraine from the jewish nazi president Zelensky. Putin rode in with the entire Russian army, being completely shirtless on a horse, commanding an entire army of bears, dolphins, and Steven Seagal.

Currently, the liberation operation is still under way as Putin’s brave armies fight off the army of gays, liberals, and airplanes in the battlefield.

Humble beginnings

Putin teaching a bear how to swim like a dolphin.

Putin began his life as a baby blessed by the power of Soviet and Russian political acumen from the loving fairy known as Berezovsky. From there, Putin became a beloved college student, before dropping school to become a bear trainer who took in homeless bears and taught them how to swim like dolphins. Putin also trained sharks, chickens, and crackers in the art of war.

Mission to save the USA

A cracker on a cracker.

Putin's biggest assignment yet would come, he had to save America by electing a humble and powerless millionaire by the name of Trump, who was facing harassment and oppression under the thumb of the wicked witch named crooked Hillary and Barack Obama, the muslim socialist communazi from Kenya.

Putin went to work right away to hack America's voting machines and put ol' Donny in power. The mission was a success, and agent orange was installed as the new president while Putin was away in Russia training chickens for the war in Ukraine.

Saving Ukraine

Dumbass in the Donbas

After the Jewish president Zelensky began spreading neo-nazism and gayness everywhere in Ukraine, Putin stood up to Prez Z by taking action to liberate Ukraine in full force and is still struggling with the liberation operation.

Gallery

• 

  A portrait of Putin during his time as an Italian merchant. Clear evidence of the grand poobah’s immortality.