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Fun:Paris Hilton

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Paris Hilton (born February 17, 1981) is a socialite and heir to the Hilton Hotel monopoly properties. She also has an annoying dog, and her dog has an annoying owner.

Recent aspirations[edit]

According to an anonymous source, Hilton had aspirations for president in the 2008 presidential campaign. The following is a transcript of an interview Hilton had with Mad Magazine about her political aspirations:

  • Mad Magazine (MM)- Good morning, Ms. Hilton I appreciate the opportunity to speak with you about your upcoming campaign!
  • Paris Hilton (PH)- No, I don't complain.
  • MM- Uh, yeah... Well, what made you decide to run in the 2008 presidential election?
  • PH- Well, (twirls her hair with a blank look toward the ceiling) I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh...people out there in our nation don't have maps, and, uh; I believe that our education like such as South Africa, and, uh the Iraq everywhere...
  • MM- Ms. Hilton let me cut you off briefly, that brings up my next question: Who is your hero? Who does Paris Hilton look up to?
  • PH- Me?
  • MM- Yes, ma'am. You.
  • PH- Oh, that's an easy one! (silence and more twirling and staring)
  • MM- Well, who is it?
  • PH- Huh? Oh, Miss Teen South Carolina, silly!
  • MM- Right. Um. Well, okay... Ms. Hilton, what is your stance on the epidemic of teen drivers dying in alcohol-related automobile collisions?
  • PH- (Falls out of her chair and starts to convulse...Secret Service swoops in escorts Ms. Hilton out of the room. Interview over).

Campaign slogans[edit]

  • "See you at the debates, bitches"
  • "Voting is hot!"

Complications in race[edit]

With Grampy McSame having picked Vampy Lipstick as his running mate, a lot of the support Hilton was counting on has been removed.

Academic achievements[edit]

Two tumbleweeds rolling across the screen, from left to right.

Yeah, like, wow. That's hot!

External links[edit]