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Fun:Paris Hilton
Paris Hilton (born February 17, 1981) is a socialite and heir to the Hilton Hotel monopoly properties. She also has an annoying dog, and her dog has an annoying owner.
Recent aspirations[edit]
According to an anonymous source, Hilton had aspirations for president in the 2008 presidential campaign. The following is a transcript of an interview Hilton had with Mad Magazine about her political aspirations:
- Mad Magazine (MM)- Good morning, Ms. Hilton I appreciate the opportunity to speak with you about your upcoming campaign!
- Paris Hilton (PH)- No, I don't complain.
- MM- Uh, yeah... Well, what made you decide to run in the 2008 presidential election?
- PH- Well, (twirls her hair with a blank look toward the ceiling) I personally believe that US Americans are unable to do so because, uh, some, uh...people out there in our nation don't have maps, and, uh; I believe that our education like such as South Africa, and, uh the Iraq everywhere...
- MM- Ms. Hilton let me cut you off briefly, that brings up my next question: Who is your hero? Who does Paris Hilton look up to?
- PH- Me?
- MM- Yes, ma'am. You.
- PH- Oh, that's an easy one! (silence and more twirling and staring)
- MM- Well, who is it?
- PH- Huh? Oh, Miss Teen South Carolina, silly!
- MM- Right. Um. Well, okay... Ms. Hilton, what is your stance on the epidemic of teen drivers dying in alcohol-related automobile collisions?
- PH- (Falls out of her chair and starts to convulse...Secret Service swoops in escorts Ms. Hilton out of the room. Interview over).
Campaign slogans[edit]
- "See you at the debates, bitches"
- "Voting is hot!"
Complications in race[edit]
With Grampy McSame having picked Vampy Lipstick as his running mate, a lot of the support Hilton was counting on has been removed.
Academic achievements[edit]
Yeah, like, wow. That's hot!
External links[edit]
- A Night in Paris: A Classless Society Paris Hilton on Sex, Booze, and Harvard
- Staying in the Paris Hilton
- Paris Autoerotic Biography: That's (not) hot!