RationalWiki:Annotated Qur'an/The Day of Congregation

Annotated Qur'an
Sura 62: The Day of Congregation
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Qur'an 62:1 Everything in the heavens and the earth glorifies God the Sovereign, the Holy, the Almighty, the Wise.	Qur'an 62:1 Notes Wait, does that mean even the nonbelievers glorify Allah? Speaking of which, I have a question for a barber regarding people with unusual shaving habits...

Qur'an 62:2 It is He who sent among the unlettered a messenger from themselves; reciting His revelations to them, and purifying them, and teaching them the Scripture and wisdom; although they were in obvious error before that.	Qur'an 62:2 Notes

Qur'an 62:3 And others from them, who have not yet joined them. He is the Glorious, the Wise.	Qur'an 62:3 Notes All will join Allah. You will be assimilated, resistance is futile.

Qur'an 62:4 That is God’s grace, which He grants to whomever He wills. God is Possessor of limitless grace.	Qur'an 62:4 Notes

Qur'an 62:5 The example of those who were entrusted with the Torah, but then failed to uphold it, is like the donkey carrying works of literature. Miserable is the example of the people who denounce God’s revelations. God does not guide the wrongdoing people.	Qur'an 62:5 Notes All who aren't Muslim are ugly. Nyah nyah. Wait, does this mean that Truth = Beauty, therefore we should take religious advice from porn stars instead of creaky old guys?

Qur'an 62:6 Say, “O you who follow Judaism; if you claim to be the chosen of God, to the exclusion of the rest of mankind, then wish for death if you are sincere.”	Qur'an 62:6 Notes Well, this is certainly friendly conversation.

Qur'an 62:7 But they will not wish for it, ever, due to what their hands have advanced. God knows well the wrongdoers.	Qur'an 62:7 Notes Ah yes, people don't want to die because they are evil. Riiiight.

Qur'an 62:8 Say, “The death from which you flee will catch up with you; then you will be returned to the Knower of the Invisible and the Visible, and He will inform you of what you used to do.”	Qur'an 62:8 Notes

Qur'an 62:9 O you who believe! When the call is made for prayer on Congregation Day, hasten to the remembrance of God, and drop all business. That is better for you, if you only knew.	Qur'an 62:9 Notes

Qur'an 62:10 Then, when the prayer is concluded, disperse through the land, and seek God’s bounty, and remember God much, so that you may prosper.	Qur'an 62:10 Notes

Qur'an 62:11 Yet whenever they come across some business, or some entertainment, they scramble towards it, and leave you standing. Say, “What is with God is better than entertainment and business; and God is the Best of providers.”	Qur'an 62:11 Notes So basically, don't work, but just stand around praying to Allah, and everything will magically come to you. Right, got it. Hey, it worked for the Saudis, right?