RationalWiki:Annotated Qur'an/The Food

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Annotated Qur'an
Sura 5: The Food
Word-by-word translation
Alternate translations and related tafsirs
Alternate translations
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Qur'an 5:1[edit]

O you who believe! Fulfill your commitments. Livestock animals are permitted for you, except those specified to you; but not wild game while you are in pilgrim sanctity. God decrees whatever He wills.

Qur'an 5:1 Notes[edit]

This chapter started with clear instructions and not just random letters or redundant glazing of Allah? What?

Qur'an 5:2[edit]

O you who believe! Do not violate God’s sacraments, nor the Sacred Month, nor the offerings, nor the garlanded, nor those heading for the Sacred House seeking blessings from their Lord and approval. When you have left the pilgrim sanctity, you may hunt. And let not the hatred of people who barred you from the Sacred Mosque incite you to aggression. And cooperate with one another in virtuous conduct and conscience, and do not cooperate with one another in sin and hostility. And fear God. God is severe in punishment.

Qur'an 5:2 Notes[edit]

These instructions could definitely be clearer and more straightforward, but this chapter is already amazing by the abysmal standards set by most of the Quran.

Qur'an 5:3[edit]

Prohibited for you are carrion, blood, the flesh of swine, and animals dedicated to other than God; also the flesh of animals strangled, killed violently, killed by a fall, gored to death, mangled by wild animals—except what you rescue, and animals sacrificed on altars; and the practice of drawing lots. For it is immoral. Today, those who disbelieve have despaired of your religion, so do not fear them, but fear Me. Today I have perfected your religion for you, and have completed My favor upon you, and have approved Islam as a religion for you. But whoever is compelled by hunger, with no intent of wrongdoing—God is Forgiving and Merciful.

Qur'an 5:3 Notes[edit]

Wait, the religion was perfected today or whenever Muhammad said the verse? What does that mean? By consulting outside sources because the Quran doesn't make sense without them, people can find out that this was specifically revealed during the day of Hajj and meant to tie the entire religion in a neat little bow. That being said, however, this is not the last chapter of the Quran to be revealed per traditional order, with two other revealed after this one. One of these chapters has 129 verses compared to the 120 verses in this chapter. Of course, the theme of needing to fear this "Most Merciful" and "Most Forgiving" deity unsurprisingly continues.

Qur'an 5:4[edit]

They ask you what is permitted for them. Say, “Permitted for you are all good things, including what trained dogs and falcons catch for you.” You train them according to what God has taught you. So eat from what they catch for you, and pronounce God’s name over it. And fear God. God is Swift in reckoning.

Qur'an 5:4 Notes[edit]

This verse could also use some fleshing out but seems straightforward enough.

Qur'an 5:5[edit]

Today all good things are made lawful for you. And the food of those given the Scripture is lawful for you, and your food is lawful for them. So are chaste believing women, and chaste women from the people who were given the Scripture before you, provided you give them their dowries, and take them in marriage, not in adultery, nor as mistresses. But whoever rejects faith, his work will be in vain, and in the Hereafter he will be among the losers.

Qur'an 5:5 Notes[edit]

This verse could talk to men and women instead of telling men how exactly they're supposed to enjoy and objectify women.

Qur'an 5:6[edit]

O you who believe! When you rise to pray, wash your faces and your hands and arms to the elbows, and wipe your heads, and your feet to the ankles. If you had intercourse, then purify yourselves. If you are ill, or travelling, or one of you returns from the toilet, or you had contact with women, and could not find water, then use some clean sand and wipe your faces and hands with it. God does not intend to burden you, but He intends to purify you, and to complete His blessing upon you, that you may be thankful.

Qur'an 5:6 Notes[edit]

Allah could just choose not to burden people without jumping through so many hoops. He could have designed humans to not have a natural waste disposal system that can lead to serious illnesses without proper sanitation or a strong immune system.

Qur'an 5:7[edit]

And Remember God’s blessings upon you, and His covenant which He covenanted with you; when you said, “We hear and we obey.” And remain conscious of God, for God knows what the hearts contain.

Qur'an 5:7 Notes[edit]

Allah again commands people to give him constant attention like an insecure child, no offense to any actual insecure children.

Qur'an 5:8[edit]

O you who believe! Be upright to God, witnessing with justice; and let not the hatred of a certain people prevent you from acting justly. Adhere to justice, for that is nearer to piety; and fear God. God is informed of what you do.

Qur'an 5:8 Notes[edit]

So many believers should "let not the hatred of a certain people prevent you from acting justly" regarding disbelievers specifically, as this book dehumanizes and demonizes disbelievers regularly.

Qur'an 5:9[edit]

God has promised those who believe and work righteousness: they will have forgiveness and a great reward.

Qur'an 5:9 Notes[edit]

Allah has provided so many reasons why a promise from him should mean nothing.

Qur'an 5:10[edit]

As for those who disbelieve and reject Our revelations—these are the inmates of Hell.

Qur'an 5:10 Notes[edit]

Among them is this obsession with torturing people for eternity.

Qur'an 5:11[edit]

O you who believe! Remember God's blessings upon you; when certain people intended to extend their hands against you, and He restrained their hands from you. So reverence God, and in God let the believers put their trust.

Qur'an 5:11 Notes[edit]

Can anybody prove that Allah was the one who restrained their hands?

Qur'an 5:12[edit]

God received a pledge from the Children of Israel, and We raised among them twelve chiefs. God said, “I am with you; if you perform the prayer, and pay the alms, and believe in My messengers and support them, and lend God a loan of righteousness; I will remit your sins, and admit you into Gardens beneath which rivers flow. But whoever among you disbelieves afterwards has strayed from the right way.”

Qur'an 5:12 Notes[edit]

About this pledge with the Children of Israel... did they collectively agree to this pledge or did Allah just impose it upon them?

Qur'an 5:13[edit]

Because of their breaking their pledge, We cursed them, and made their hearts hard. They twist the words out of their context, and they disregarded some of what they were reminded of. You will always witness deceit from them, except for a few of them. But pardon them, and overlook. God loves the doers of good.

Qur'an 5:13 Notes[edit]

Antisemitism rears its ugly head now.

Qur'an 5:14[edit]

And from those who say, “We are Christians,” We received their pledge, but they neglected some of what they were reminded of. So We provoked enmity and hatred among them until the Day of Resurrection; God will then inform them of what they used to craft.

Qur'an 5:14 Notes[edit]

Allah must have also "provoked enmity and hatred among" Muslims around the world as well. Was that intentional?

Qur'an 5:15[edit]

O People of the Book! Our Messenger has come to you, clarifying for you much of what you kept hidden of the Book, and overlooking much. A light from God has come to you, and a clear Book.

Qur'an 5:15 Notes[edit]

What did this "Messenger" clarify at all? Was it just that Allah is an insecure hypocrite who relies on horrid threats to get compliance from believers?

Qur'an 5:16[edit]

God guides with it whoever follows His approval to the ways of peace, and He brings them out of darkness into light, by His permission, and He guides them in a straight path.

Qur'an 5:16 Notes[edit]

A quick glance of Islamic history when Muhammad was alive would go wildly against the whole "ways of peace" nonsense... and the "out of darkness into light" nonsense given how anti-intellectual this entire religion can really be.

Qur'an 5:17[edit]

They disbelieve those who say, “God is the Christ, the son of Mary.” Say, “Who can prevent God, if He willed, from annihilating the Christ son of Mary, and his mother, and everyone on earth?” To God belongs the sovereignty of the heavens and the earth and what is between them. He creates whatever He wills, and God has power over everything.

Qur'an 5:17 Notes[edit]

What kind of response is that, Allah? Thank you for continuing to prove your critics correct.

Qur'an 5:18[edit]

The Jews and the Christians say, “We are the children of God, and His beloved.” Say, “Why then does He punish you for your sins?” In fact, you are humans from among those He created. He forgives whom He wills, and He punishes whom He wills. To God belongs the dominion of the heavens and the earth and what lies between them, and to Him is the return.

Qur'an 5:18 Notes[edit]

Allah punishes his children because he is the most abusive sadist ever.

Qur'an 5:19[edit]

O People of the Book! Our Messenger has come to you, making things clear to you—after a cessation of messengers—so that you cannot say, “No preacher has come to us, and no warner.” In fact, a preacher has come to you, and a warner; and God is Capable of everything.

Qur'an 5:19 Notes[edit]

Muhammad needs to prove that he's actually a messenger of Allah. His attempts to prove that fall flat and apply just as well with any other deity ever imagined by humanity.

Qur'an 5:20[edit]

When Moses said to his people, “O my people, remember God’s blessings upon you, when He placed prophets among you, and made you kings, and gave you what He never gave any other people.”

Qur'an 5:20 Notes[edit]

Moses may or may not have even existed, much less anything else mentioned in this verse.

Qur'an 5:21[edit]

“O my people, enter the Holy Land which God has assigned for you, and do not turn back, lest you return as losers.”

Qur'an 5:21 Notes[edit]

With ongoing conflicts at the time of this annotation, the controversial nature of this verse should speak for itself.

Qur'an 5:22[edit]

They said, “O Moses, there are tyrannical people in it; we will not enter it until they leave it. If they leave it, we will be entering.”

Qur'an 5:22 Notes[edit]

These "prophets" have shown themselves to be tyrannical assuming that they existed, but apparently things were different with other tyrants.

Qur'an 5:23[edit]

Two men of those who feared, but whom God had blessed, said, “Go at them by the gate; and when you have entered it, you will prevail. And put your trust in God, if you are believers.”

Qur'an 5:23 Notes[edit]

They would be victorious just by passing through a single gate?

Qur'an 5:24[edit]

They said, “O Moses, we will not enter it, ever, as long as they are in it. So go ahead, you and your Lord, and fight. We are staying right here.”

Qur'an 5:24 Notes[edit]

This story frames these two as being cowards just because they're averse to violently conquering a land that Moses claims is a "Holy Land" assigned to him by the master of reality himself. This story also claims that they're only averse to that because the current "Holy Land" is ruled by a tyrant with serious military might.

Qur'an 5:25[edit]

He said, “My Lord! I have control only over myself and my brother, so separate between us and between the wicked people.”

Qur'an 5:25 Notes[edit]

Of course, they're "the wicked people" for not being so enthusiastic about violently conquering "Holy Land".

Qur'an 5:26[edit]

He said, “It is forbidden for them for forty years. They will wander aimlessly in the land. So do not grieve over the defiant people.”

Qur'an 5:26 Notes[edit]

They seriously spent four decades wandering for this?

Qur'an 5:27[edit]

And relate to them the true story of Adam's two sons: when they offered an offering, and it was accepted from one of them, but it was not accepted from the other. He Said, “I will kill you.” He Said, “God accepts only from the righteous.”

Qur'an 5:27 Notes[edit]

Does this fable explain at all what made one son righteous and not the other?

Qur'an 5:28[edit]

“If you extend your hand to kill me, I will not extend my hand to kill you; for I fear God, Lord of the Worlds.”

Qur'an 5:28 Notes[edit]

Given this book's track record, many people would expect it to condone killing in self-defense, especially as Muhammad used this as a justification for attacking disbelievers and reason why his loyal followers should do the same.

Qur'an 5:29[edit]

“I would rather you bear my sin and your sin, and you become among the inmates of the Fire. Such is the reward for the evildoers.”

Qur'an 5:29 Notes[edit]

The "righteous" guy is still rather evil for being even remotely okay with his own brother suffering eternally.

Qur'an 5:30[edit]

Then His soul prompted him to kill his brother, so he killed him, and became one of the losers.

Qur'an 5:30 Notes[edit]

Cain and Abel have names. Why does this chapter not actually mention each brother by name?

Qur'an 5:31[edit]

Then God sent a raven digging the ground, to show him how to cover his brother's corpse. He said, “Woe to me! I was unable to be like this raven, and bury my brother's corpse.” So he became full of regrets.

Qur'an 5:31 Notes[edit]

A bird is how Allah wanted to tell this brother-who-totally-lacks-a-name-or-anything how to bury a dead person. This bird didn't even speak but was just digging. How did this nameless brother murderer know to associate the raven's actions with what just happened? How did he make that specific connection?

Qur'an 5:32[edit]

Because of that We ordained for the Children of Israel: that whoever kills a person—unless it is for murder or corruption on earth—it is as if he killed the whole of mankind; and whoever saves it, it is as if he saved the whole of mankind. Our messengers came to them with clarifications, but even after that, many of them continue to commit excesses in the land.

Qur'an 5:32 Notes[edit]

With that, the chapter reaches a verse commonly cited by those who want to say that Islam is a religion of peace and that senseless killing is immoral. Notably, however, this verse is talking about the Children of Israel. Also, according to this verse, the death penalty is a valid punishment for murder, but it's also a valid punishment for "corruption" or however the Arabic word "fasād" is to be translated. This alone is dangerous, as any religious extremists can claim that their victims were spreading "corruption" and thus needed to die before they continued to corrupt this world. What exactly constitutes as "corruption" worthy of the death penalty? At that point, the prohibition on killing people for any other reason is basically moot.

Qur'an 5:33[edit]

The punishment for those who fight God and His Messenger, and strive to spread corruption on earth, is that they be killed, or crucified, or have their hands and feet cut off on opposite sides, or be banished from the land. That is to disgrace them in this life; and in the Hereafter they will have a terrible punishment.

Qur'an 5:33 Notes[edit]

This is an awful verse in a different yet incredibly similar way. On the one hand, it prescribes non-death punishments such as banishment or dismemberment, both of which are still cruel for spreading "corruption", whatever that means. On the other hand, it also condones the death penalty as a perfectly valid way to deal with whatever the leadership deems to be "corruption" in the land.

Qur'an 5:34[edit]

Except for those who repent before you apprehend them. So know that God is Forgiving and Merciful.

Qur'an 5:34 Notes[edit]

Of course, the previous verse can be ignored those who pretend to "repent" just because pretending saves them from death or torture. Of course, it's all good because Allah said that he's "Forgiving and Merciful" at the end of this verse.

Qur'an 5:35[edit]

O you who believe! Be conscious of God, and seek the means of approach to Him, and strive in His cause, so that you may succeed.

Qur'an 5:35 Notes[edit]

This evidently includes killing people whom the religion deems as enemies.

Qur'an 5:36[edit]

As for those who disbelieve, even if they owned everything on earth, and the like of it with it, and they offered it to ransom themselves from the torment of the Day of Resurrection, it will not be accepted from them. For them is a painful punishment.

Qur'an 5:36 Notes[edit]

What happened to the "Forgiving and Merciful" god?

Qur'an 5:37[edit]

They will want to leave the Fire, but they will not leave it. For them is a lasting punishment.

Qur'an 5:37 Notes[edit]

Allah is showing how "Forgiving and Merciful" he really is.

Qur'an 5:38[edit]

As for the thief, whether male or female, cut their hands as a penalty for what they have reaped—a deterrent from God. God is Mighty and Wise.

Qur'an 5:38 Notes[edit]

At least this isn't another death penalty and only entails painful dismemberment instead.

Qur'an 5:39[edit]

But whoever repents after his crime, and reforms, God will accept his repentance. God is Forgiving and Merciful.

Qur'an 5:39 Notes[edit]

Does this "crime" involve some egregious forms of "corruption" like being openly queer or spreading ideas antithetical to Islam?

Qur'an 5:40[edit]

Do you not know that to God belongs the kingdom of the heavens and the earth? He punishes whom He wills, and He forgives whom He wills. And God is Capable of everything.

Qur'an 5:40 Notes[edit]

How can people know anything about a being who has never been proven to actually exist?

Qur'an 5:41[edit]

O Messenger! Do not let those who are quick to disbelief grieve you—from among those who say with their mouths, “We believe,” but their hearts do not believe; and from among the Jews—listeners to lies, listeners to other people who did not come to you. They distort words from their places, and they say, “If you are given this, accept it; but if you are not given it, beware.” Whomever God has willed to divert, you have nothing for him from God. Those are they whose hearts God does not intend to purify. For them is disgrace in this world, and for them is a great punishment in the Hereafter.

Qur'an 5:41 Notes[edit]

Allah brought them into existence knowing that he created people with impure hearts and "does not intend to purify" them purely so that they can suffer eternally in a moral system created by Allah himself.

Qur'an 5:42[edit]

Listeners to falsehoods, eaters of illicit earnings. If they come to you, judge between them, or turn away from them. If you turn away from them, they will not harm you in the least. But if you judge, judge between them equitably. God loves the equitable.

Qur'an 5:42 Notes[edit]

Merely listening to anybody who disagrees with the glorious leader Muhammad is considered evil now.

Qur'an 5:43[edit]

But why do they come to you for judgment, when they have the Torah, in which is God’s Law? Yet they turn away after that. These are not believers.

Qur'an 5:43 Notes[edit]

This verse suggests that Jews, at least at the time of Muhammad, still had the Torah. However, according to most Muslims, the Torah was corrupted over time while the original was lost to time.

Qur'an 5:44[edit]

We have revealed the Torah, wherein is guidance and light. The submissive prophets ruled the Jews according to it, so did the rabbis and the scholars, as they were required to protect God’s Book, and were witnesses to it. So do not fear people, but fear Me. And do not sell My revelations for a cheap price. Those who do not rule according to what God revealed are the unbelievers.

Qur'an 5:44 Notes[edit]

This would be cool if anybody still had the Torah as Allah originally revealed it.

Qur'an 5:45[edit]

And We wrote for them in it: a life for a life, an eye for an eye, a nose for a nose, an ear for an ear, a tooth for a tooth, and an equal wound for a wound; but whoever forgoes it in charity, it will serve as atonement for him. Those who do not rule according to what God revealed are the evildoers.

Qur'an 5:45 Notes[edit]

Does this ruling still apply? It seems to contradict earlier verses in this chapter?

Qur'an 5:46[edit]

In their footsteps, We sent Jesus son of Mary, fulfilling the Torah that preceded him; and We gave him the Gospel, wherein is guidance and light, and confirming the Torah that preceded him, and guidance and counsel for the righteous.

Qur'an 5:46 Notes[edit]

Just like the Torah, the majority of Muslims accept that the original Gospel was lost to time and that any Gospels existing today are corrupted versions of what Allah allegedly revealed.

Qur'an 5:47[edit]

So let the people of the Gospel rule according to what God revealed in it. Those who do not rule according to what God revealed are the sinners.

Qur'an 5:47 Notes[edit]

Perhaps they couldn't "rule according to what God revealed in it" because he himself chose not to preserve that book and allowed people to corrupt it.

Qur'an 5:48[edit]

And We revealed to you the Book, with truth, confirming the Scripture that preceded it, and superseding it. So judge between them according to what God revealed, and do not follow their desires if they differ from the truth that has come to you. For each of you We have assigned a law and a method. Had God willed, He could have made you a single nation, but He tests you through what He has given you. So compete in righteousness. To God is your return, all of you; then He will inform you of what you had disputed.

Qur'an 5:48 Notes[edit]

The Quran contradicts itself a lot, let alone how much it contradicts other religious scriptures. Then again, with how many people accept that Allah didn't preserve the other scriptures, who's to say that Allah let the same thing happen to this book? Who's to say that any mention of this book being perfectly preserved is part of the same corruption that led to the original Quran being lost to time?

Qur'an 5:49[edit]

And judge between them according to what God revealed, and do not follow their desires. And beware of them, lest they lure you away from some of what God has revealed to you. But if they turn away, know that God intends to strike them with some of their sins. In fact, a great many people are corrupt.

Qur'an 5:49 Notes[edit]

How can people know what this mythological skydaddy actually "revealed" to anybody if he even exists? This book does the opposite of providing clear answers.

Qur'an 5:50[edit]

Is it the laws of the time of ignorance that they desire? Who is better than God in judgment for people who are certain?

Qur'an 5:50 Notes[edit]

Anybody who has ever been demonstrated to exist and not torture people forever would be better than this pathetic excuse of a god.

Qur'an 5:51[edit]

O you who believe! Do not take the Jews and the Christians as allies; some of them are allies of one another. Whoever of you allies himself with them is one of them. God does not guide the wrongdoing people.

Qur'an 5:51 Notes[edit]

This is yet another verse that causes serious strife between members of any of these faiths.

Qur'an 5:52[edit]

You will see those in whose hearts is sickness racing towards them. They say, “We fear the wheel of fate may turn against us.” But perhaps God will bring about victory, or some event of His making; thereupon they will regret what they concealed within themselves.

Qur'an 5:52 Notes[edit]

Did anybody order another nothingburger with sweet potato lies and a large diet nope?

Qur'an 5:53[edit]

Those who believe will say, “Are these the ones who swore by God with their strongest oaths that they are with you?” Their works have failed, so they became losers.

Qur'an 5:53 Notes[edit]

Nothingburger, sweet potato lies, large diet nope. Your order is here.

Qur'an 5:54[edit]

O you who believe! Whoever of you goes back on his religion—God will bring a people whom He loves and who love Him, kind towards the believers, stern with the disbelievers. They strive in the way of God, and do not fear the blame of the critic. That is the grace of God; He bestows it upon whomever He wills. God is Embracing and Knowing.

Qur'an 5:54 Notes[edit]

This pathetic excuse of a god is narcissistic and sadistic.

Qur'an 5:55[edit]

Your allies are God, and His Messenger, and those who believe—those who pray regularly, and give charity, and bow down.

Qur'an 5:55 Notes[edit]

Charity is good, but why does it have to be lumped in with belief in an unproven skydaddy and regular groveling to said unproven skydaddy?

Qur'an 5:56[edit]

Whoever allies himself with God, and His Messenger, and those who believe—surely the Party of God is the victorious.

Qur'an 5:56 Notes[edit]

Charity isn't even good enough to get repeated while belief in this unproven skydaddy is? The Quran wouldn't need to place so much emphasis on believing in Allah if he actually demonstrated his existence such that everybody would believe in him.

Qur'an 5:57[edit]

O you who believe! Do not befriend those who take your religion in mockery and as a sport, be they from among those who were given the Scripture before you, or the disbelievers. And obey God, if you are believers.

Qur'an 5:57 Notes[edit]

Allah chose to make this religion so ridiculous. People will inevitably mock this religion for how ridiculous and harmful it is.

Qur'an 5:58[edit]

When you call to the prayer, they take it as a joke and a trifle. That is because they are people who do not reason.

Qur'an 5:58 Notes[edit]

Per Allah, the perfect religion of Islam is so evidently true that the only people who do not buy into it with the pathetic excuse of evidence pointing to it "are people who do not reason" when this just shows just how unconvincing Allah made his supposedly "clear" message to all of humanity.

Qur'an 5:59[edit]

Say, “O People of the Scripture! Do you resent us only because we believe in God, and in what was revealed to us, and in what was revealed previously; and most of you are sinners?”

Qur'an 5:59 Notes[edit]

Say that and observe as people rightfully ridicule you for saying something so insanely stupid.

Qur'an 5:60[edit]

Say, “Shall I inform you of worse than that for retribution from God? He whom God has cursed, and with whom He became angry; and He turned some of them into apes, and swine, and idol worshipers. These are in a worse position, and further away from the right way.”

Qur'an 5:60 Notes[edit]

Qur'an 5:61[edit]

When they come to you, they say, “We believe,” though they have entered with disbelief, and they have departed with it. But God is well aware of what they hide.

Qur'an 5:61 Notes[edit]

To be fair, this religion gives people a very strong incentive to say that they believe when they don't actually believe: it can prevent them from getting tortured or killed by Muhammad and his most loyal followers. The previous verses of this very chapter lay that out.

Qur'an 5:62[edit]

You see many of them competing with one another in sin and hostility, and their consuming of what is illicit. What they have been doing is truly evil.

Qur'an 5:62 Notes[edit]

You know what's really evil? Killing people for disagreeing with an obvious cult leader spreading dangerous, violent ideas. This didn't just happen back when Muhammad was alive. This still happens now in several parts of the world. The killers sincerely believe that they're doing something right because of what a holy book tells them to do.

Qur'an 5:63[edit]

Why do the rabbis and the priests not prevent them from speaking sinfully and from consuming forbidden wealth? Evil is what they have been doing.

Qur'an 5:63 Notes[edit]

Why did Muhammad and his loyal followers not prevent people from violent conquests, slavery, dehumanizing women, and executing innocents for non-crimes? How does Allah not count orders to kill non-violent innocents as "speaking sinfully" or profiting from slavery as "consuming forbidden wealth" but still have the gall to pretend like he cares about good and evil in the slightest?

Qur'an 5:64[edit]

The Jews say, “God’s hand is tied.” It is their hands that are tied, and they are cursed for what they say. In fact, His hands are outstretched; He gives as He wills. Certainly, what was revealed to you from your Lord will increase many of them in defiance and blasphemy. And We placed between them enmity and hatred, until the Day of Resurrection. Whenever they kindle the fire of war, God extinguishes it. And they strive to spread corruption on earth. God does not love the corrupters.

Qur'an 5:64 Notes[edit]

God should stop corrupting his own creations in ways that they find utterly abhorrent if he truly "does not love the corrupters" created by him.

Qur'an 5:65[edit]

Had the People of the Scriputure believed and been righteous, We would have remitted their sins, and admitted them into the Gardens of Bliss.

Qur'an 5:65 Notes[edit]

A truly good god would not have this abhorrent system of sins in the first place.

Qur'an 5:66[edit]

Had they observed the Torah, and the Gospel, and what was revealed to them from their Lord, they would have consumed amply from above them, and from beneath their feet. Among them is a moderate community, but evil is what many of them are doing.

Qur'an 5:66 Notes[edit]

Allah is the epitome of evil.

Qur'an 5:67[edit]

O Messenger, convey what was revealed to you from your Lord. But if you do not, then you would not have delivered His message. And God will protect you from the people. God does not guide the disbelieving people.

Qur'an 5:67 Notes[edit]

Why does Allah only guide people who already believe in him? This is yet another telling verse.

Qur'an 5:68[edit]

Say, “O People of the Scripture! You have no basis until you uphold the Torah, and the Gospel, and what is revealed to you from your Lord.” But what is revealed to you from your Lord will increase many of them in rebellion and disbelief, so do not be sorry for the disbelieving people.

Qur'an 5:68 Notes[edit]

This implies that people in Muhammad's time and also now would have the original, unaltered Torah and Gospel, both of which most Muslims agree are lost to time. Then again, this suggests that the Quran was actually perfectly preserved from the time all of Muhammad's "revelations" were compiled in this book to the present day, a dubious position at best.

Qur'an 5:69[edit]

Those who believe, and the Jews, and the Sabians, and the Christians—whoever believes in God and the Last Day, and does what is right—they have nothing to fear, nor shall they grieve.

Qur'an 5:69 Notes[edit]

Ignoring other issues already addressed here and the sudden mention of Sabians, how exactly will the believers not grieve? The vast majority of humanity is doomed to infinite torture in Hell. This means that many of the humans whom Allah spares from his own infinite wrath will undoubtedly see their loved ones burn in Hell forever. Heaven has a clear view of Hell for some reason. How will children in Heaven see their parents burn forever and not grieve? How will parents in heaven see their children burn forever and not grieve?

Qur'an 5:70[edit]

We made a covenant with the Children of Israel, and We sent to them messengers. Whenever a messenger came to them with what their souls did not desire, some of them they accused of lying, and others they put to death.

Qur'an 5:70 Notes[edit]

Whenever a skeptic came to Muhammad with valid reasons not to believe, all of them he accused of lying, and several he put to death.

Qur'an 5:71[edit]

They assumed there would be no punishment, so they turned blind and deaf. Then God redeemed them, but then again many of them turned blind and deaf. But God is Seeing of what they do.

Qur'an 5:71 Notes[edit]

This can happen without any convincing evidence of such a punishment.

Qur'an 5:72[edit]

They disbelieve those who say, “God is the Messiah the son of Mary.” But the Messiah himself said, “O Children of Israel, worship God, my Lord and your Lord. Whoever associates others with God, God has forbidden him Paradise, and his dwelling is the Fire. The wrongdoers have no saviors.”

Qur'an 5:72 Notes[edit]

Allah's threats continue to make him look like an infinite sadist but also just elicit yawns in lieu of screams.

Qur'an 5:73[edit]

They disbelieve those who say, “God is the third of three.” But there is no deity except the One God. If they do not refrain from what they say, a painful torment will befall those among them who disbelieve.

Qur'an 5:73 Notes[edit]

To be fair, though, the Trinity makes very little sense and just tries to dress polytheism up as monotheism.

Qur'an 5:74[edit]

Will they not repent to God and ask His forgiveness? God is Forgiving and Merciful.

Qur'an 5:74 Notes[edit]

Allah claims to be not just "Forgiving and Merciful" but the most "Forgiving and Merciful" being possible, so why does he limit his forgiveness and mercy to those who believe in his existence without substantial evidence?

Qur'an 5:75[edit]

The Messiah son of Mary was only a messenger, before whom other Messengers had passed away, and his mother was a woman of truth. They both used to eat food. Note how We make clear the revelations to them; then note how deluded they are.

Qur'an 5:75 Notes[edit]

Christians can believe that Jesus was fully divine and also human, so pointing out that he ate food isn't the way to debunk that.

Qur'an 5:76[edit]

Say, “Do you worship, besides God, what has no power to harm or benefit you?” But God: He is the Hearer, the Knower.

Qur'an 5:76 Notes[edit]

Allah has no power to harm or benefit anybody. Proving otherwise would require proof that Allah does anything at all. People giving him credit for literally anything doesn't count as evidence.

Qur'an 5:77[edit]

Say, “O People of the Scripture! Do not exaggerate in your religion beyond the truth; and do not follow the opinions of people who went astray before, and misled many, and themselves strayed off the balanced way.”

Qur'an 5:77 Notes[edit]

Well, even the Quran condemns extremism. Such is certainly the hope.

Qur'an 5:78[edit]

Cursed were those who disbelieved from among the Children of Israel by the tongue of David and Jesus son of Mary. That is because they rebelled and used to transgress.

Qur'an 5:78 Notes[edit]

Alternatively, that could be because the evidence around them doesn't conclusively point to Allah being real. Allah could also have just done what he brags about doing, deliberately keeping them from ever believing because he doesn't like them or something.

Qur'an 5:79[edit]

They used not to prevent one another from the wrongs they used to commit. Evil is what they used to do.

Qur'an 5:79 Notes[edit]

Allah wouldn't know anything about evil if he imbued it in each and every one of his creations.

Qur'an 5:80[edit]

You will see many of them befriending those who disbelieve. Terrible is what their souls prompts them to do. The wrath of God fell upon them, and in the torment they will remain.

Qur'an 5:80 Notes[edit]

Another horrific threat. YAWN!

Qur'an 5:81[edit]

Had they believed in God and the Prophet, and in what was revealed to him, they would not have befriended them. But many of them are immoral.

Qur'an 5:81 Notes[edit]

What does this vindictive skydaddy even know about morality?

Qur'an 5:82[edit]

You will find that the people most hostile towards the believers are the Jews and the polytheists. And you will find that the nearest in affection towards the believers are those who say, “We are Christians.” That is because among them are priests and monks, and they are not arrogant.

Qur'an 5:82 Notes[edit]

Oh, how times have changed, assuming that this observation was even true back in Muhammad's time.

Qur'an 5:83[edit]

And when they hear what was revealed to the Messenger, you see their eyes overflowing with tears, as they recognize the truth in it. They say, “Our Lord, we have believed, so count us among the witnesses.”

Qur'an 5:83 Notes[edit]

Yes. Many people do get emotional and see something subjectively beautiful in the Quran, even believing that Islam is the truth because of it.

Qur'an 5:84[edit]

“And why should we not believe in God, and in the truth that has come to us, and hope that our Lord will include us among the righteous people?”

Qur'an 5:84 Notes[edit]

Yes. Many people say things like this.

Qur'an 5:85[edit]

God will reward them for what they say—Gardens beneath which rivers flow, where they will stay forever. Such is the reward of the righteous.

Qur'an 5:85 Notes[edit]

The stick may induce yawns at this point, but so too does the carrot. YAWN!

Qur'an 5:86[edit]

But as for those who disbelieve and deny Our signs—these are the inmates of the Fire.

Qur'an 5:86 Notes[edit]

With that, Allah went back to the stick. LOUDER YAWN!

Qur'an 5:87[edit]

O you who believe! Do not prohibit the good things God has permitted for you, and do not commit aggression. God does not love the aggressors.

Qur'an 5:87 Notes[edit]

The hypocritical irony of this verse physically hurts.

Qur'an 5:88[edit]

And eat of the lawful and good things God has provided for you; and be conscious of God, in Whom you are believers.

Qur'an 5:88 Notes[edit]

Allah could actually prove that he provided anything instead of just taking credit for literally everything.

Qur'an 5:89[edit]

God does not hold you accountable for your unintended oaths, but He holds you accountable for your binding oaths. The atonement for it is by feeding ten needy people from the average of what you feed your families, or by clothing them, or by freeing a slave. Anyone who lacks the means shall fast for three days. That is the atonement for breaking your oaths when you have sworn them. So keep your oaths. Thus God makes clear His Revelations to you, that you may be grateful.

Qur'an 5:89 Notes[edit]

At the very least, breaking oaths doesn't come with a death penalty. The bar is low enough to make this notable.

Qur'an 5:90[edit]

O you who believe! Intoxicants, gambling, idolatry, and divination are abominations of Satan’s doing. Avoid them, so that you may prosper.

Qur'an 5:90 Notes[edit]

There are entirely non-supernatural reasons to keep clear of these "abominations of Satan's doing" as Allah so eloquently put it.

Qur'an 5:91[edit]

Satan wants to provoke strife and hatred among you through intoxicants and gambling, and to prevent you from the remembrance of God, and from prayer. Will you not desist?

Qur'an 5:91 Notes[edit]

Allah, meanwhile, wants to provoke strife and hatred among his own creations through religions.

Qur'an 5:92[edit]

Obey God and obey the Messenger, and be cautious. If you turn away—know that the duty of Our Messenger is clear communication.

Qur'an 5:92 Notes[edit]

Muhammad failed horribly at "clear communication" with just how utterly nonsensical this supposed revelation turned out.

Qur'an 5:93[edit]

Those who believe and do righteous deeds will not be blamed for what they may have eaten, provided they obey, and believe, and do good deeds, then maintain piety and faith, then remain righteous and charitable. God loves the charitable.

Qur'an 5:93 Notes[edit]

Allah should actually be like those people whom he claims to love.

Qur'an 5:94[edit]

O you who believe! God will test you with something of the game your hands and spears obtain, that God may know who fears Him at heart. Whoever commits aggression after that will have a painful punishment.

Qur'an 5:94 Notes[edit]

Is this test still coming some 14 centuries later or so? Is this verse talking about a test that happened already but that still gets a mention in this book as though it's always a future event?

Qur'an 5:95[edit]

O you who believe! do not kill game while you are in pilgrim sanctity. Whoever of you kills any intentionally, its penalty shall be a domestic animal comparable to what he killed, as determined by two honest persons among you—an offering delivered to the Kaabah. Or he may atone by feeding the needy, or its equivalent in fasting, so that he may taste the consequences of his conduct. God forgives what is past. But whoever repeats, God will take revenge on him. God is Almighty, Avenger.

Qur'an 5:95 Notes[edit]

Allah asks people to sacrifice animals to the Kaaba but claims to be against idolatry. In many respects, the Kaaba is an idol of Allah.

Qur'an 5:96[edit]

Permitted for you is the catch of sea, and its food—as sustenance for you and for travelers. But forbidden for you is the game of land while you are in pilgrim sanctity. And fear God, to Whom you will be gathered.

Qur'an 5:96 Notes[edit]

Of course, this specific command has Allah randomly reminding people to fear him.

Qur'an 5:97[edit]

God has appointed the Kaabah, the Sacred House, a sanctuary for the people, and the Sacred Month, and the offerings, and the garlanded. That you may know that God knows everything in the heavens and the earth, and that God is Cognizant of all things.

Qur'an 5:97 Notes[edit]

How does this prove that Allah knows anything, much less everything, when it's just him calling some things holy?

Qur'an 5:98[edit]

Know that God is severe in retribution, and that God is Forgiving and Merciful.

Qur'an 5:98 Notes[edit]

How can people know both of these things when they contradict each other? Why are they in the same verse?

Qur'an 5:99[edit]

The Messenger’s sole duty is to convey. God knows what you reveal and what you conceal.

Qur'an 5:99 Notes[edit]

Allah clearly doesn't know anything.

Qur'an 5:100[edit]

Say: “The bad and the good are not equal, even though the abundance of the bad may impress you. So be conscious of God, O you who possess intelligence, that you may succeed.”

Qur'an 5:100 Notes[edit]

This verse talks about "the abundance of the bad" while now, Islam is the second biggest religion in the world beaten out only by a religion that this chapter claims to be the friendliest to Muslims.

Qur'an 5:101[edit]

O you who believe! Do not ask about things that would trouble you if disclosed to you. But if you were to ask about them while the Quran is being revealed, they will become obvious to you. God forgives that. God is Forgiving and Clement.

Qur'an 5:101 Notes[edit]

Allah is a narcissist.

Qur'an 5:102[edit]

A people before you asked about them, but then came to reject them.

Qur'an 5:102 Notes[edit]

Can this verse get any more ambiguous if it tried?

Qur'an 5:103[edit]

God did not institute the superstitions of Bahirah, Saibah, Wasilah, or of Hami; but those who disbelieve fabricate lies about God—most of them do not understand.

Qur'an 5:103 Notes[edit]

This is another verse that requires external sources to make sense. The first three of these are female camels with some significance to idolators in Muhammad's time while the fourth is a male camel also significant for these idolators. Also, the superstitions of these camels have just as much evidence behind them as does any claim made about Allah.

Qur'an 5:104[edit]

And when it is said to them, “Come to what God has revealed, and to the Messenger,” they say, “Sufficient for us is what we found our forefathers upon.” Even if their forefathers knew nothing, and were not guided?

Qur'an 5:104 Notes[edit]

Children raised in Muslim households often grow up Muslims for no reason beyond the fact that their parents were believers and primed the kids to also believe.

Qur'an 5:105[edit]

O you who believe! You are responsible for your own souls. He who has strayed cannot harm you if you are guided. To God is you return, all of you, and He will inform you of what you used to do.

Qur'an 5:105 Notes[edit]

Allah just says that people are "responsible" for what happens to these supposedly real "souls" so that disbelievers can be blamed for their own disbelief. Allah repeatedly claims that he is the one who guides or misguides everybody.

Qur'an 5:106[edit]

O you who believe! When death approaches one of you, let two reliable persons from among you act as witnesses to the making of a bequest, or two persons from another people if you are travelling in the land and the event of death approaches you. Engage them after the prayer. If you have doubts, let them swear by God: “We will not sell our testimony for any price, even if he was a near relative, and we will not conceal God’s testimony, for then we would be sinners.”

Qur'an 5:106 Notes[edit]

This system has some issues, though it's not the worst.

Qur'an 5:107[edit]

If it is discovered that they are guilty of perjury: let two others take their place, two from among those responsible for the claim, and have them swear by God, “Our testimony is more truthful than their testimony, and we will not be biased, for then we would be wrongdoers.”

Qur'an 5:107 Notes[edit]

The people willing to commit perjury in Allah's name would likely lie even more for the same ends.

Qur'an 5:108[edit]

That makes it more likely that they will give true testimony, fearing that their oaths might be contradicted by subsequent oaths. So fear God, and listen. God does not guide the disobedient people.

Qur'an 5:108 Notes[edit]

It may make it more likely for some people, especially devout believers. However, what happens when people reach a disagreement because at least one of the parties involved was sincerely mistaken and doubles down because they sincerely believed that they were in the right the entire time?

Qur'an 5:109[edit]

On the Day when God will gather the messengers, then say, “What response were you given?” They will say, “We have no knowledge; it is You Who are the Knower of the unseen.”

Qur'an 5:109 Notes[edit]

Thankfully, no real evidence points to such a day even being possible.

Qur'an 5:110[edit]

When God will say, “O Jesus son of Mary, recall My favor upon you and upon your mother, how I supported you with the Holy Spirit. You spoke to the people from the crib, and in maturity. How I taught you the Scripture and wisdom, and the Torah and the Gospel. And recall that you molded from clay the shape of a bird, by My leave, and then you breathed into it, and it became a bird, by My leave. And you healed the blind and the leprous, by My leave; and you revived the dead, by My leave. And recall that I restrained the Children of Israel from you when you brought them the clear miracles. But those who disbelieved among them said, `This is nothing but obvious sorcery.'“

Qur'an 5:110 Notes[edit]

Narcissists often go on about how they were the reason why so many good things happened in the lives of others.

Qur'an 5:111[edit]

“And when I inspired the disciples: `Believe in Me and in My Messenger.' They said, `We have believed, so bear witness that We have submitted.'“

Qur'an 5:111 Notes[edit]

The disciples are their own rabbithole that, based on what is currently available, undermine both Christianity and Islam.

Qur'an 5:112[edit]

“And when the disciples said, 'O Jesus son of Mary, is your Lord able to bring down for us a feast from heaven?' He said, 'Fear God, if you are believers.'“

Qur'an 5:112 Notes[edit]

That is an awful response to the question, Jesus.

Qur'an 5:113[edit]

They said, “We wish to eat from it, so that our hearts may be reassured, and know that you have told us the truth, and be among those who witness it.”

Qur'an 5:113 Notes[edit]

This implies that they weren't truly convinced deep down at that point.

Qur'an 5:114[edit]

Jesus son of Mary said, “O God, our Lord, send down for us a table from heaven, to be a festival for us, for the first of us, and the last of us, and a sign from You; and provide for us; You are the Best of providers.”

Qur'an 5:114 Notes[edit]

Considering that many people don't even have enough food to survive while nobody has signs of Allah's existence, does he really deserve to be called "the Best of providers" while refusing to actually be the best provider?

Qur'an 5:115[edit]

God said, “I will send it down to you. But whoever among you disbelieves thereafter, I will punish him with a punishment the like of which I never punish any other being.”

Qur'an 5:115 Notes[edit]

People who can definitely see that Allah existed wouldn't be able to sincerely disbelieve just by being evil, so this punishment is as evil as it is nonsensical.

Qur'an 5:116[edit]

And God will say, “O Jesus son of Mary, did you say to the people, `Take me and my mother as gods rather than God?'“ He will say, “Glory be to You! It is not for me to say what I have no right to. Had I said it, You would have known it. You know what is in my soul, and I do not know what is in Your soul. You are the Knower of the hidden.

Qur'an 5:116 Notes[edit]

This suggests that Christians believe in a trinity of God the Father, Jesus the Son, and Mary the Mother. Who believed in that trinity ever? Also, the actual Trinity doesn't hold Jesus as a god "rather than God" but goes through some contorted mental gymnastics to claim that Jesus and God are actually the same god but somehow not the exact same persons.

Qur'an 5:117[edit]

I only told them what You commanded me: that you shall worship God, my Lord and your Lord. And I was a witness over them while I was among them; but when You took me to Yourself, You became the Watcher over them—You are Witness over everything.

Qur'an 5:117 Notes[edit]

Allah doesn't need to watch over anything. After all, he already supposedly knows exactly what's going to happen at any given time because he already planned for these exact events to happen exactly as they did.

Qur'an 5:118[edit]

If You punish them, they are Your servants; but if You forgive them, You are the Mighty and Wise.”

Qur'an 5:118 Notes[edit]

Allah loves to hear his own creations say good things about him just as he preprogrammed them to.

Qur'an 5:119[edit]

God will say, “This is a Day when the truthful will benefit from their truthfulness.” They will have Gardens beneath which rivers flow, wherein they will remain forever. God is pleased with them, and they are pleased with Him. That is the great attainment.

Qur'an 5:119 Notes[edit]

This infinitely delicious carrot invokes more yawning, even if it is infinitely superior to the infinitely painful stick.

Qur'an 5:120[edit]

To God belongs the sovereignty of the heavens and the earth and what lies in them, and He has power over everything.

Qur'an 5:120 Notes[edit]

EVEN LOUDER YAWN!