RationalWiki:Annotated Qur'an/The Kingdom

Annotated Qur'an
Sura 67: The Kingdom
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Qur'an 67:1 Blessed is He in whose hand is the sovereignty, and Who has power over everything.	Qur'an 67:1 Notes I am ruled by a queen, not a king. Of course, that might not have been very popular when this book was written...

Qur'an 67:2 He who created death and life—to test you—as to which of you is better in conduct. He is the Almighty, the Forgiving.	Qur'an 67:2 Notes Ah, so we're talking about your Sky-God. Well, ever heard of something called evolution? DNA? Hmm?

Qur'an 67:3 He who created seven heavens in layers. You see no discrepancy in the creation of the Compassionate. Look again. Can you see any cracks?	Qur'an 67:3 Notes There will be no cracks if there is no ceiling. Also, we have often seen how compassionately Allah throws people to fires and tortures in this book.

Qur'an 67:4 Then look again, and again, and your sight will return to you dazzled and exhausted.	Qur'an 67:4 Notes Yes, I love astronomy. Which is why I hate it when some illiterate and opportunistic Arab merchant who knows nothing about astronomy writes a book talking of "cracks" in the sky.

Qur'an 67:5 We have adorned the lower heaven with lanterns, and made them missiles against the devils; and We have prepared for them the punishment of the Blaze.	Qur'an 67:5 Notes See what I mean?

Qur'an 67:6 For those who reject their Lord, there is the torment of Hell. What an evil destination!	Qur'an 67:6 Notes Allah's mercy and compassion on full display.

Qur'an 67:7 When they are thrown into it, they will hear it roaring, as it seethes.	Qur'an 67:7 Notes More compassion.

Qur'an 67:8 It almost bursts with fury. Every time a batch is thrown into it, its keepers will ask them, “Has no warner come to you?”	Qur'an 67:8 Notes Any proof that Muhammad was a warner from God?

Qur'an 67:9 They will say, “Yes, a warner did come to us, but we disbelieved, and said, ‘God did not send down anything; you are very much mistaken.’”	Qur'an 67:9 Notes Sadly, the warner declined to offer proof.

Qur'an 67:10 And they will say, “Had we listened or reasoned, we would not have been among the inmates of the Blaze.”	Qur'an 67:10 Notes No mercy now?

Qur'an 67:11 So they will acknowledge their sins. So away with the inmates of the Blaze.	Qur'an 67:11 Notes Off they go. Very mercifully done.

Qur'an 67:12 As for those who fear their Lord in secret—for them is forgiveness and a great reward.	Qur'an 67:12 Notes Bribes to believe in nonsense. Ah well, if you're preaching to some uneducated peasants so that they'll help you build an empire - that was very successful indeed.

Qur'an 67:13 Whether you keep your words secret, or declare them—He is Aware of the inner thoughts.	Qur'an 67:13 Notes Allah has planted microchips in everyone's heads, so we can't hide anything.

Qur'an 67:14 Would He not know, He Who created? He is the Refined, the Expert.	Qur'an 67:14 Notes Dream on. It's fun reading, if only we didn't know that many people believe this outright.

Qur'an 67:15 It is He who made the earth manageable for you, so travel its regions, and eat of His provisions. To Him is the Resurgence.	Qur'an 67:15 Notes Neanderthals, Homo erectus, Denisovans and the rest wouldn't agree.

Qur'an 67:16 Are you confident that the One in heaven will not cause the earth to collapse beneath you as it spins?	Qur'an 67:16 Notes Pretty confident, since there's no one up there.

Qur'an 67:17 Or are you confident that the One in Heaven will not unleash against you a violent storm? Then you will know what My warning is like.	Qur'an 67:17 Notes Storms are caused by differences in atmospheric and regional pressure, so the same goes for this.

Qur'an 67:18 Those before them also denied the truth; and how was My disapproval?	Qur'an 67:18 Notes I would say that if the vengeful wrathful God actually existed then the outcome was not good for the denyers.

Qur'an 67:19 Have they not seen the birds above them, spreading their wings, and folding them? None holds them except the Compassionate. He is Perceiver of everything.	Qur'an 67:19 Notes That's not really how aerodynamics work.

Qur'an 67:20 Or who is this who is a force for you to protect you against the Compassionate? The disbelievers are in nothing but delusion.	Qur'an 67:20 Notes More attacks on contemporary Arabs who weren't buying Muhammed's fanstastical ridiculous claims.

Qur'an 67:21 Or who is this that will provide for you, if He withholds His provision? Yet they persist in defiance and aversion.	Qur'an 67:21 Notes One of the best ways to keep spreading your ludicrous message is to mercilessly attack those who don't swallow it.

Qur'an 67:22 Is he who walks bent on his own design better guided, or he who walks upright on a straight path?	Qur'an 67:22 Notes Well that depends on who is defining what that straight path is!

Qur'an 67:23 Say, “It is He who produced you; and made for you the hearing, and the vision, and the organs. But rarely do you give thanks.”	Qur'an 67:23 Notes I refuse to repeat that nonsense. A man in the sky didn't create me.

Qur'an 67:24 Say, “It is He who scattered you on earth, and to Him you will be rounded up.”	Qur'an 67:24 Notes No. It's blatantly not true.

Qur'an 67:25 And they say, “When will this promise be fulfilled, if you are truthful?”	Qur'an 67:25 Notes I suppose...never?

Qur'an 67:26 Say, “Knowledge is with God, and I am only a clear warner.”	Qur'an 67:26 Notes Knowledge is out there in the universe waiting to be discovered...not up in the clouds stored in the mind of an invented diety.

Qur'an 67:27 But when they see it approaching, the faces of those who disbelieved will turn gloomy, and it will be said, “This is what you used to call for.”	Qur'an 67:27 Notes Ah yes...when this invented appocalypse happens (you know...the only proof any of this is true...conveniently situated in the future that we'll have to wait for to confirm...then yes I suppose I'll be gloomy in the infinitesimally low chance this actually happens.

Qur'an 67:28 Say, “Have you considered? Should God make me perish, and those with me; or else He bestows His mercy on us; who will protect the disbelievers from an agonizing torment?”	Qur'an 67:28 Notes Obviously the merciful God won't protect them from himself.

Qur'an 67:29 Say, “He is the Compassionate. We have faith in Him, and in Him we trust. Soon you will know who is in evident error.”	Qur'an 67:29 Notes Clearly Allah is not compassioante.

Qur'an 67:30 Say, “Have you considered? If your water drains away, who will bring you pure running water?”	Qur'an 67:30 Notes I think rain clouds will bring me water...no?