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  • One pound TNT
  • Six liters gamma-ray-emitting radioactive nuclear waste (preferably green)
  • Nine gallons cement
  • Four pounds rotting meat
  • Six ounces lead
  • Nine ounces horse hair
  • Six ounces cat hair (optional)
  • Cup of flies (garnish)
  • Six ounces solid gold (what they heck, why not?)
  • Deceit (optional)
  • Glowing crackers (optional)


  1. Mix together the organic ingredients and let sit for five minutes.
  2. Add deceit, gold, lead, and cement. Let set.
  3. Add the TNT and nuclear waste together.
  4. Take a jackhammer and use it to stir the two mixtures together.
  5. Bake inside nuclear furnace
  6. Cut with chainsaw
  7. Serve fresh!
  8. Set leftovers out as fly bait

See also[edit]