Recipe:Whole Goat

Goat is an incredibly healthy and nutritious meat. Eating the whole goat gives you the most nutrients. First, of course you must make it edible.

Ingredients

• 1 whole goat
• flour
• salt
• pepper
• large metal tub
• several gallons of vegetable oil
• fire extinguisher

Directions

1. Obtain a whole goat. This is perhaps the hardest part of cooking a whole goat. Most people don't have a butcher nearby they can get a whole goat from. Before you drive the distance to a butcher, remember you can always buy a goat as a pet and butcher it yourself (there are many guides to self-butchery on the internet). The hardest part is killing it, but I advise you to do what most butchers do: train it to stand in the middle of the road and then run over it. (The training can take many months.)

2. Once the goat is prepared, brush it in oil, then roll it in flour. Don't forget to salt and pepper to taste! The goat is now ready.

3. Prep the oil. Suspend the metal tub over a fire. Fill the tub with oil enough to fry.

4. Drop the goat in! (The oil might spill over the sides into the fire, but that's what the fire extinguisher is for. You can't make an omelet without cracking a few skulls (see step 1), eh?) Cook until the internal temperature is 145 degrees F.

5. Serve! Goat goes well with asparagus, but then, everything goes well with asparagus.