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For evolutionary high crimes...
I'm probably dredging up the skeleton of a dead horse here that I just stumbled across, but I find the idea of evolutionary "progress" an interesting one. Mary Midgley called it the "escalator fallacy." Michael Ruse also has a great essay on it if you can get your hands on a copy of that book.
Oh. My. God. That essay's so old, I read it and thought, "Who wrote this? Oh, fuck, I wrote it." This is exactly why I beg people to disregard everything I've written before 2011.
Reading those posts makes me feel kind of bad for writing that essay. :'-|