16 October 2009 Sooner or later, every child becomes curious about certain facts of life. If your young son or daughter were to ask you, 'Where do cars come from'?, what would you reply?
In high school shop classes across this nation, our youth are being taught the theory that automobiles are created by men working for companies like GM, Ford, Chrysler etc. What they don't teach is that not every one accepts this theory as fact; they don't teach that there is an alternative theory of where automobiles come from that doesn't suffer from glaring gaps in the evidence!
If you believe that men manufacture cars, then you will have to believe than men manufacture trees, rocks, the sun, animals... or you can believe that Flying Spaghetti Monster created cars, trees, and the sun. If we believe Flying Spaghetti Monster didn't love us enough to give us the automobile, we must believe that he didn't love us enough to give us air, or water, or sunlight, and clearly that's not the case! Just stick your head out the car door and take a deep breath.
You say that men, working in a GM plant, create automobiles? Have you ever seen such a thing? I mean personally, not on television or in the movies – because if you believe cars are made in plants by men, just because you saw in on tv, then do you also believe that the Simpsons are real, or that Superman can really fly or that Jennifer Love Hewitt really can see and talk with ghosts? If so, they I really want to tell you about some prime pacific beach-front property in New Mexico that's for sale at a... no? Didn't think so!
Look, either the metal arrives in the so called automobile plant already shaped in the form of a car, or it arrives in some other form and is shaped into car-form by the men at the plant. Now, one of those two theories makes sense, and the other is ridiculous beyond rational belief. How exactly do the men transform the metal? If you believe that they do just that, you have to believe that there exist men with giant mallets instead of hands, anvils instead of knees, capable of lifting hundreds of times their own weight and breathing fire so hot it can melt steel. I'm sorry, but no rational, sane person could possibly believe such a thing. Tell me this: If cars are made of metal, then how come there are still metal cans? You can't, and you know it, and the only rational conclusion is that Flying Spaghetti Monster, not men, create automobiles!
Consider this, more sinister fact: Henry Ford was a Nazi sympathiser! Hitler himself once mentioned that he considers Ford his personal inspiration! What?!? And that's the guy you want making your car?? Guess who's the only American mentioned in Mein Kampf. Guess who received the Grand Cross of the German Eagle shortly before the war broke out? Guess who owned the Dearborn Independent, the newspaper that published that horrible forgery, “Protocols of the Learned Elders of Zion?” If you guessed Henry Ford, I hope you're not also wanting to tell me he is also responsible for making Ford cars, just because he coincidentally has the same name as the brand. Does Mr. Walter Chrysler make Chrysler brand cars? No! He passed away in 1940, and you aren't going to tell me that a zombie has crawled out of its grave to start making cars! Does Monsieur Louis Chevrolet make all those Chevy cars? He must be a busy man, thousands of cars produced and sent to market every day... why, you'd have to believe that he is some sort of super-powerful deity to pull that off! The next logical step is to believe that an actual deity did create all those car - Flying Spaghetti Monster!
I will leave you with this thought: the other day I was walking to work, and guess who was walking (yes, on his own two feet!) as well to his place of work – the exec of a local supposed automobile company! Folks, you should trust Samuel Beam, known by his stage name Iron & Wine, who has a song called 'Flying Spaghetti Monster Created the Automobile'. We must teach both sides of the debate to our children; they deserve nothing less than to hear all the evidence so that they can choose for themselves what to believe, instead of teachers and liberal media telling them what they will believe!