I'm thirty-five which means that the best years of my life are behind me, and they were pretty piss-poor. I'm also a computer programmer. That's it. Man, my life sucks.
Politically, I'm a mess. I'm generally a socialist - in the proper sense, and not the American "news" pundit sense - except when it comes to law and order, in which area I would make Hitler's jaw drop. Often, what I say will prove the last sentence to be a lie. This is all part of the drunken clown magic that is me. I used to be an economist and recently got a law degree, so whilst invariably wrong on how things are going to turn out I can argue vociferously that the facts do in fact prove me to have been - technically - correct.
I live in the west of Ireland, which is where I first turned up, safely ensconced in something called "The Burren". It's a lot of stone, a bit of water and is close to some huge cliffs that tourists enjoy falling off. It's very nice, if you like that sort of thing.
To have my penis passed like some sort of porky baton between Rachel Weisz, a pre-drug habit Yasmine Bleeth and Chloe Annett for the week. Actually, grease-up Kate Beckinsale and chuck her over the wall as well would you? Ta.
I have no other ambitions, and will obviously not realise the one I have. Having grown up in England though, I crave disappointment and so that's okay.