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I am a rational conservative. I believe in traditional American values: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, within reasonable limits, of course. The number 52 refers to the election year of my favorite president: Dwight D. Eisenhower. I believe in doing something to protect the world from the scum who pollute it, I believe that racists need to be either forcibly re-educated or kicked out of the U.S., and I believe in universal health care for all Americans, unconditionally.

There are, however, five issues on which I always stand on the right: Israel, guns, abortion, immigration, and money.

Israel: I'm thinking of writing an essay about this one soon, but the gist of my position is that Israel has an unconditional right to exist and to defend herself, and that they are unfairly maligned by Western activists.

Guns: Universal background checks I'm totally okay with, even a compulsory licensing and education regime akin to that of the Czech Republic, but an "assault weapons" ban is stupid, ineffective, and definitely racist. Any policy addressing gun violence needs to address the medical, economic, and sociological roots of the problem rather than just screaming the same tired talking points at one another and using biased "research" to claim that "science supports X position."

Abortion: Only to save the life of the mother. That's it. Maybe I'll write an essay on the ethical can of worms this entire debate is.

Immigration: I agree that America's immigration system is way too complicated to justify any longer and therefore needs a desperate overhaul, but sanctuary cities have been illegal for years and frankly, they border on outright secessionism. The Constitution gives the federal government the exclusive right to control immigration. The fact that California needs this simple fact explained to them is mind-boggling.

Money: The American government spends too much money and unfairly forces the shrinking middle and lower classes to subsidize selfish rich people's tax dodging schemes. We need a Balanced Budget Amendment in our Constitution, badly, and our tax code just needs to be gotten rid of. New Zealand has the right idea by having only three tax brackets instead of America's gazillion different specialized tax brackets.