Silver-level articleConservapedia:Best of Conservapedia

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This is the place to sort, search and review all the classic What Is Going On at CP? moments. Results are sorted by vote count and month, at the moment you can provide your own vote number cutoff, browse different months, or filter all the results by a keyword. This page relies on programs that were not implemented until August 2008, "best of" moments before this time are archived in the links below.

The day-to-day updates of CP are over at WIGO and all new contenders should be added there. Entries are automatically moved here.

Do not add entries to this article - the work is done automagically - as said above!

Archives for What is going on at CP:
- Best of Conservapedia/0706 -- Best of Conservapedia/0707 -- June 2007 -- July 2007 -- August 2007 -- September 2007 -- Best of Conservapedia/0708 -- October 2007 -- November 2007 -- December 2007 -- January 2008 -- February 2008 -- March 2008 -- April 2008 -- May 2008 -- June 2008 -- Best of Conservapedia/0709 -- Best of Conservapedia/0710 -- Best of Conservapedia/0711 -- Best of Conservapedia/0801 -- Best of Conservapedia/0802 -- Best of Conservapedia/0803 -- Best of Conservapedia/0804 -- Best of Conservapedia/0805 -- July 2008 -- August 2008 -- Best of Conservapedia/0806 -- Best of Conservapedia/0807 -- September 2008 -- October 2008 -- November 2008 -- December 2008 -- January 2009 -- February 2009 -- March 2009 -- Archive list -- April 2009 -- May 2009 -- June 2009 -- July 2009 -- August 2009 -- September 2009 -- October 2009 -- November 2009 -- December 2009 -- January 2010 -- February 2010 -- March 2010 -- April 2010 -- May 2010 -- June 2010 -- July 2010 -- August 2010 -- September 2010 -- October 2010 -- November 2010 -- December 2010 -- January 2011 -- February 2011 -- March 2011 -- April 2011 -- May 2011 -- June 2011 -- July 2011 -- August 2011 -- September 2011 -- October 2011 -- November 2011 -- December 2011 -- January 2012 -- February 2012 -- March 2012 -- April 2012 -- May 2012 -- June 2012 -- July 2012 -- August 2012 -- September 2012 -- October 2012 -- November 2012 -- December 2012 -- January 2013 -- February 2013 -- March 2013 -- April 2013 -- May 2013 -- June 2013 -- July 2013 -- August 2013 -- September 2013 -- October 2013 -- November 2013 -- December 2013 -


Note to Readers: Due to conservative deceit, some page links from this page to Conservapedia may be broken.

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375Andy refutes one of the best experimentally confirmed theories of physics with cake: "Eating a pound of cake does not cause one's energy to increase by the speed of light squared."img Somehow, every physicist of the last century missed this. UPDATE Andy: "Folks, E=mc2 seems to be based on politics rather than physics."img
282Andy Schlafly, J.D., B.E., age 50: "E=mc2 has no meaning or value. Simply put, E=mc2 is liberal claptrap."img
222Andy: Why didn't atheists cheer at the Super Bowl?img Is it because they don't like underdogs?img Why don't atheists like underdogs?img I bet Stalin didn't like underdogs.img
218Andy redefines the Second Law of Thermodynamicsimg.
211 "For God so loved the world..." is environmentalist nonsense.img~Andrew Schlafly
206Ah, the Olympics! The place where the best athletes in the world get to strut their stuff every 4 years. And another chance for Andy to bitch about same-sex marriage, feminism and atheism.img
202In Andy's universe "Britain was just fine with Hitler running over neighboring underdog countries."img Why? Because liberals.img
202Having obliterated the mean old Lamestream Media, Andy Schlafly takes on the next targetimg.
196Claims that neutrinos don't move faster than light sound like political correctness, rather than science, to Andy.img
196Balls
191Andy yet again denies an inconvenient fact:"Obama is not actually president"img.
189We knew Ed Poor would come back with a vengeance after all the Netherlands stuff from AugustO a week ago. Here he is! [1]img [2]img [3]img [4]img [5]img [6]img [7]img [8]img [9]img [10]img [11]img [12]img [13]img Update Ed is reallyimg, reallyimg upsetimg with AugustOimg Update Ed is back and Ed is FUCKING FURIOUS. Reverting everything AugustO touches followed by a 3 day ban plus a snarky messageimg then Ed, Big Man! Poor deletes August's userpage.img An epic fit of impotent rage. Next: August is stripped of blocking rightsimg
185Mr. I-have-two-Ivy-League-degrees-but-teach-children-in-a-church-basement blames liberals for "destroying the perceived value of a college degree."img
184Balls
182Balls
180Nope, Andy cannot even announce the discovery of a new particle without bringing up materialism or complaining about alleged academic censorshipimg.
178Andyimg: "College math is not completely immune to liberal influences that have destroyed other subjects like physics."
177Balls
172Andy: "I've found that once someone falls for Relativity, they almost never open a Bible again."img
171Balls
170Andy sinks to a new low and shamelessly uses the death of a six-year-old girl to take a swipe at liberals.img
168Andy can't see why he must provide references for his bullshit, because "Would anyone ask Jesus for a reference after telling the parable of the Prodigal Son?"img
166BREAKING NEWS: Pope duped by Castro lookalike!img Update Fake Castro story now officially upgraded to "mystery" statusimg as super-sleuth Schlafly notes some curious differences between the impostor and the real Castro. Update The mystery deepens as Andy discovers that make-up may have been used to make the lookalike appear older.img As well as using disguises to hide the lack of wrinklesimg
162Andy touts on the front pageimg the fact that a new book discusses Conservapedia at length in the first few pages. Did he bother reading those pages?
161Words fail.img UPDATE: Andy approves of the postimg
160Andy (on why God has a sense of humor): "atheistic political figures are known for their lack of a sense of humor, such as Attila the Hun, which suggests that the opposite of God is a lack of sense of humor."img (Andy should hope that God has a very good sense of humor.)
160Andy: "Hyuk! Hyuk! If liberals are so "open-minded," why do they fail myimg totally made-up and biased test?"img
160Andy goes all Alex Jones on us: Tim Tebow was traded "in order to oust him from his leadership position in the swing state of Colorado prior to the Presidential Election 2012."img
160Balls
158Balls
157Andy: "It's a liberal fiction that E=mc2 has ever been applied in any practical way. The equation defines rest mass in terms of the speed of light - an absurdity."img
156It's official! Obama is no longer a godless commie, but probably Muslimimg. Hell, he even whacked his Islamic brothers, bin Laden & Khaddafi after defeating that limpdick McCain.
156Asking for references is to be a slave to hearsay.img Andy approves.img
156Andy: "Real answers are found on Conservapedia and in the Bible rather than on television."img [Conservapedia and the Bible. Yes, he really wrote it in that order.]
155Who carved out the Easter Island statues? God did it, as a joke! Of course!img
152Balls
149Andy, predictably: if there were more guns in schools, "today's tragic murders would not have happenedimg".
148Balls
148Andy kills two birds with one stoneimg. Apparently, the Sun being rounder than previously thought counts both as a counterexample to relativityimg (because he says so) and an example of Biblical Scientific Foreknowledgeimg (yes, he is actually giving credit to the Bible for describing the Sun as round).
148Biblical political foreknowledge: The Bible predicted the Vice-Presidential debate.img
146Balls
136According to Andy, the 2012 French Open Finals weren't suspended because of rain, but because of a liberal umpireimg intervening to prevent conservative Novak Djokovicimg from winning.
136Balls
134Andy responds to Aurora killings by honoring Norwegian murderer Anders Breivikimg, the only person to call his victims' summer experience "indoctrination camp."
134Andy Schlafly:img Early voting infringes on the right not to vote.
133Andy: "The purported proof of Fermat's Last Theorem would be an example of liberal math.img"
132 Stupid atheists are wasting time and money searching for a Grand Unified Theory of physics even though Andy's bizarre, nonsensical interpretation of an Iron Age text Genesis says that's impossibleimg. Biblical scientific foreknowledge FTW!
132Andy unwittingly citesimg a gay newspaper. UPDATE: Ooops...let's change that.img
128In CP's world, liberals don't support abortionimg because of "choice," but because they actually enjoy killing unborn babiesimg.
127 If the pictures weren't in the Bible, they don't need to be on Conservapedia.img Except if they show short and/or obese atheists, of course.
127Balls
126Andy's crazy quotient goes off the charts is normal -- apparently, NFL resultsimg affect the outcome of presidential elections.
126Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day. A day to celebrate the peaceful life of a man committed to Jesus. Also, it's a day for liberals to play the race card.img
125With no sense of irony, Andy accuses Wikipedia's editors of displaying "self-centered belief systems and behavior."img
124Andy's sophisticated theology compares the nature of free will and the existence of evil to sports:"If God were to destroy Satan, then that would require ending free will, and then this world ceases to be of interest. It would become akin to a sports league where one's favorite team won every game. That's no sports league at all."img
124Balls
121 You heard the rumblings of it before, and you wanted to learn more...and now Andy obliges! Move over, ESPN, ace sportcaster Andy is here to tell us what sports are and are not "Joke Sports"img. Bonus points if you can spot the blatant sexism.
120Hell freezes over.
Andy: "You're right, and you make the point well... Britain has done remarkably well in the past week, and some of its gold medals (e.g., Andy Murray in tennis) were nothing short of spectacular. Conservatives accept the real facts, even when (in this case) it is contrary to American bravado."img
119According to Andy, A.M. is a "best new conservative word,"img because "the popularity of A.D. could have led to the popularity of A.M.img No word yet on nasty, liberal P.M. Update Looking for the next layer of conservative words and every one of them needs to be as special as A.Mimg...which isn't actually a word.
119Balls
118Andy: Democrats pathetically resort to unanimous opposition to Mitt Romney to win the election.img
116Balls
116So we can either know where the GPS satellite is, or how fast it's moving, but not both?img
Response: That's odd. I'm going to need a reference.img
Andy: It just makes senseimg
116Andy: We've always been atimg war withimg Eurasiaimg lovedimg Mittimg Romneyimg.
116Conservapedia does not mix hearsay with citations to legitimate factual contentimg, says the man who cites dinner conversationsimg. Although, in fairness to Andy, CP:Lemon test contains no factual citations
115Balls
112President Obama supports SOPA, as evidenced by the fact that he says he opposes it.img Also, the Wikipedia blackout is meant to "punish users" rather than protest SOPA,img because the lib-burr-ruls at Wikipedia would never go against Obama like that.
112Andy tells usimg that SOPA is now being pushed through the Democrat-infested Senate, not the GOP-controlled House. Another lesson from the Trusworthy Encyclopedia.
112It turns out that the Colorado shooter wasn't an atheist but actually "heavily involved in his local Presbyterian church." Oops! But don't worry, they'll still find a way to blame liberals!img
109Jpratt is outraged... OUTRAGED... that an atheist liberal on Wikipedia would delete an article entitled "Obama eats dogs".img And they have the audacity to keep the article on Romney's dog, Seamus!
107The best of the public knows better than the GOP consultants: Romney lost because of early voting!img
105Ken: "Andy's so insecure, I can get away with absolutely fucking anything!"img
105Andy posts a scathing criticism of Obamaimg for saying "me" when he meant "I," right above another news itemimg identifying the recent Secret Service prostitution scandal as having taken place in "Columbia."
105The Ice Age - according to Andy, it's just another liberal myth "to cast doubt on the Flood."img
105Andy: "the Dems did OKimg" what with their President and the Senate, but "everywhere else, conservatives routed the liberals", presumably in those other 8-12 branches of government, or something.
103Balls
103""Where did the ice in my freezer come from? :) Answer me that, Mr. Science!"img
101JPratt's inability to understand metaphorimg means Michelle Obama made a huge gaffe about the riding of the Underground Railroad.
100 Apparently the subtle difference between a galaxy and the universeimg is too much for some Conservapedians to handle. When Conservapedia was called out on it, Ed Poor thinks it's over-reactingimg to criticize someone for not grasping a very complex and subtle concept.
100Balls
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