|Some dare call it|
“”You see, 666 is a doubling of 33. And 33 is pi.
“”People like that should be out in the street, shouting and hollering with a cardboard sign and selling pencils from a cup.
|—Christopher Hitchens on a different, but similar, fraudulent windbag|
Alex Jones (b. 1974) is a radio personality who never met a conspiracy theory he didn't like. He is one of the very few people to make Glenn Beck look sane and rational in comparison. That is all you really need to know about him.
Jones has no discernible political stance aside from all-consuming paranoid rage. He claims that the Illuminati control the world. He claims that "the elite" conspirators who he says control the world "believe they're contacting inter-dimensional aliens" through use of the drug DMT, and "believe that they are being directed by them." Jones says that the entities that the world-ruling conspirators worship are called "clockwork elves" and that their ultimate goal is to be granted "eternal life" after they "kill everybody".
His radio program is typified by frequent use of the Imperial March from Star Wars while he rants about the impending roundup and execution of Americans by the New World Order (NWO) in the next week or two. He has been predicting this for well over a decade now. We're still waiting. Any time a "major event" of any kind happens in the media, the first words from Jones on his radio show are always, "This whole situation stinks!" and he then immediately begins rounding up clues and evidence of the 'Massive Coverup' currently taking place in the current situation … whatever the situation is.
 Crank magnetism
Jones is the most visible (and literally loudest) proponent of the grand Unified Conspiracy Theory wherein just about every current event can be tied into the NWO's nefarious schemes. The NWO is the framework which every new conspiracy-of-the-week can be fit into. According to Jones' broadcasts and various "documentaries," the scaffolding around which the NWO was built came about over two hundred years ago when the Rothschild banking family, the Illuminati, and the Freemasons came to power. Since then, things have snowballed into a complete worldwide conspiracy of every government and corporate entity.
Because many of the conspiracy theories he espouses (like Federal Reserve, global warming, gay agenda, and United Nations conspiracies) are similar to those passed around on the radical right, he is often lumped in with the conservative talk radio milieu by some mainstream sources. This is something of a mischaracterization. Jones identifies himself as libertarian, and in practice also takes on a number of paleoconservative positions, railing against the neoconservatism and neoliberalism of the Reagan and Bush administrations (Junior and Senior alike) just as much as the "commie-fascism" of Clinton and Obama. He has far more in common, ideologically and stylistically, with the John Birch Society and the sovereign citizen movement than the Republican neoconservatives of Fox News, believing the entire political mainstream to be in service to the NWO.
He also covers a number of conspiracy theories more stereotypically associated with left-wingers (remember, everything's a conspiracy), such as trutherism, Big Pharma, vaccine denialism, and Monsanto/genetically modified food conspiracies (useless eaters!), all things that put him at odds with the likes of Bush supporters like Sean Hannity. Because of his belief that these corporations are part of the NWO as well, he promotes all sorts of alternative medicine and nature woo. As an article in The New Republic put it, Jones "occup[ies] the shadowy territory where the far right curves around and meets the far left." With all that in mind, it's perhaps not surprising that Jones has a small following among the radical left as well, especially during the Bush Jr. administration, interviewing figures like Noam Chomsky and Dennis Kucinich in addition to the usual who's who of far-right ideologues.
His take on the massive tornado that leveled most of Moore, Oklahoma in May 2013 is typical; although he seems to confirm that the Federal Gummint is capable of causing (and even steering) such a storm with their "weather weapons," he stopped just short of saying that the Moore tornado was one of them. At this point, it's possibly worth asking whether he honestly believes this stuff and is just going Chuck Yeager on the Poe's Law barrier - or whether this is some kind of weird performing art, like pro wrestling or Ann Coulter.
 The Alex Avalanche
The Alex Avalanche is a particular debating style common to Jones. In fact, it's the only thing he ever employs. It is similar to the Gish Gallop, wherein the interviewee completely dominates the discussion; not allowing the interviewer, or any other panel members an opportunity to interject and add their own thoughts, or opinions.
The phrase was coined following Jones' antics during his appearance on the BBC's Sunday Politics show, where he ranted non-stop about the Bilderberg Group and how they were behind the implementation of the Euro, which was somehow originally a Nazi plot. Afterwards, the show's host, Andrew Neil, described Jones as "the worst person that he had ever interviewed." Meanwhile, on Alex Jones' Facebook page, his supporters complained about his poor treatment on the show and that he wasn't given time to "explain himself" - apparently blind to the fact that the man was given ample time because he didn't shut up for 5 whole minutes. The tirade was a simple repeat of his performance against Piers Morgan on the subject of gun control.
Surprisingly, Jones has managed to get a number of high-profile guests on his show (and, not so surprisingly, a lot of high-profile nutters), including:
- Mike Adams the Health Ranger
- Buzz Aldrin, second human to walk on the Moon
- Pat Buchanan
- Noam Chomsky
- Piers Corbyn
- Mark Dice, Conservative Christian conspiracy theorist and activist, has been a frequent guest on the show over the past eight years
- Lou Dobbs, former CNN and current Faux anchor
- Dinesh D'Souza
- Lyndon LaRouche 
- Joseph Farah
- Nigel Farage, UKIP MEP
- Yukihisa Fujita
- David Ray Griffin
- David Icke
- Adam Kokesh
- Dennis Kucinich
- Michael Marcavage of Repent America
- Mike Judge, creator of popular television shows King of the Hill and Beavis and Butthead
- Christopher Monckton
- Ralph Nader
Gay marriage does not sleep because ofChuck Norris
- Ron Paul (whom he endorsed in the
20082012 Presidential Election)
- Rand Paul
- Lew Rockwell
- Luke Rudkowski
- Immortal Technique, rap musician who preaches roughly the same theories Jones does, only from a leftist perspective
I'm on a drug calledCharlie Sheen
- Jesse Ventura
- Alan Watt 
- Richard Stallman 
 A nonsense factory
Jones is also a prolific filmmaker of direct-to-DVD films on various conspiracy topics, all done in much the same style as his radio program and all are available on Youtube or Google Video. Most of these films involve copious amounts of pseudohistory and go deeper "down the rabbit hole" of the machinations of the NWO, because he knows the truth. As well as his own productions Jones has appeared as an interviewee in the The Fall of America and the Western World.
 Gotta be shitting me, the lies go too far
On April 15 2013, two assailants bombed the Boston Marathon. Three people died in the explosion, generated by crudely made explosives, with over a hundred and seventy injured or mutilated. Of course almost immediately, like a Pavlov dog hearing the dinging bell, Alex Jones generated a conspiracy about it, claiming the suspects were patsies and it was done by the government, even going so far to accuse a guy itching his own ear of being a FBI agent.
While it would seem for the norm for the crackpot, new information seems to have shown a different shade to this event. The elder assailant had become obsessive over conspiracies, and it seems that his delusions on the subject played a part in the bombing. Worse yet, it seems he got a large portion of his crackpot information from none other than Infowars, one of Alex's two websites. Considering few have tried to accuse of such a connection before, it seems a twisted irony the the conspiracy maniac had a hand in all of this madness. Though it would be unfair to say he was the most influential part of this event, he was far from that, his influence as a Crank Magnet may have played a part.
In addition, Jones insisted (along with equally credulous posters on 4Chan and Reddit) that missing Brown University student Sunil Tripathi had something to do with the bombings; this particular bit of false information was made especially regrettable (if not outright disgusting) by the fact that Tripathi has since been found dead.
 Of Tornadoes and Wasps
Not even a few days after an incredibly severe Oklahoma tornado, Alex Jones, much like a vulture floating down to a carcass (my apologies to all vultures for comparing them to Alex Jones), descended upon the victims of the tornado, and began spinning a yarn about the government possibly creating this tornado on purpose. While he would claim he did not say the government did, he in fact did, by spinning a yarn about their capabilities of doing so, and creating a facade of uncertainty by saying who knows if they did. Obviously he wanted to set these tornado victims on the government, at the right moment they would be looking for someone to blame, and even attacking people for following protocol for disasters, claiming the usual bits.
Then came the openly homosexual maiden of MSNBC, Rachel Maddow, who tore into the obvious accusation, and asked whether or not the Republicans that supported Jones would finally drop him like a rotten tomato for his tornado conspiracies. In it she made a joke about wasps "hiving" underneath the UN, as a ridiculous example to hit home how ridiculous Alex Jones conspiracies are. Alex Jones responded as his usual gentlemanly self by calling his video response Teaching Mr. Maddow, which he promptly removed afterwards, likely in fear of it being taken down. Still within he calls her a lying witch, basically threatens her life if there is a revolution, and vilely laughing at her claims and pretending that she was begging the conspiracy cranks to stop listening to him. His hollow laughing at her and just the attack itself showed two things. Alex Jones is even more enormously petty than we all thought, and that he is terrified of Rachel Maddow. It also showed further hypocrisy when he picked apart her claims against him, and he said he hated little factoids when he screamed and shrieked like a mandrill at Piers Morgan's face months before, albeit factoids is stretching the term. He even failed to properly answer her criticism of the whole supposed gun seizure and bullet famine by basically stating that the government has far too powerful weaponry to even require such seizures, and likely would have taken over years ago..... Also that Alex Jones is incapable of understanding whether or not when someone says there are alien wasps underneath a building they are joking or not, as an episode after his disgustingly pathetic attempt against Maddow he tried to insinuate she actually believed they had created such a conspiracy.
 Alex Jones fashion
Like David Icke, Alex Jones prefers to wear hats made out of aluminum foil on a regular basis. He does this, it is alleged, to keep (insert evil global conspiracy) from being able to read his mind. No, seriously.[citation NOT needed] Both of them are guilty of using neurolinguistic programming techniques on their audience when giving public or web cast speeches.
 Not dead
It seems reasonable to expect that conspirators with the power to own governments and enslave entire nations would arrange convenient accidents for Jones and others who brazenly expose their schemes, yet the whistle-blowers tend to remain unmolested and free to continue hawking their wares. This could cause one to speculate that Jones is himself running a false flag operation in support of the Jewish lizard bankers!
Many Alex Jones sheeple/fans have argued that if the government were to kill Alex Jones, then they would make him a martyr and 'expose' themselves. At first logical, as a martyr can be very influential. Yet Alex Jones is not the Lord Jesus Christ, as he himself has also claimed that is why he is alive, meaning he operates without fear of death anyway; not exactly close to being nailed to a cross is he? Though considering how supposedly powerful and child eating the conspiracy he sells is, it seems unlikely they would not end him and make it look like an accident. Unfortunately this means that, ultimately, whether Alex Jones falls down the stairs, eats bad sushi, gets in a car wreck, chokes on a big dick or dies of fluoride poisoning, his death will be turned into a conspiracy theory.
Alternatively, assuming the NWO does exist, the only other plausible reason, why Alex Jones is still alive, is that he is actually on their payroll, because nothing discredits a conspiracy theory more profoundly than its promotion by a paranoid pantopragmatic. In which case everyone concerned about the NWO should immediately start ignoring Alex Jones.
Director Richard Linklater likes to put Jones in Rotoscope. Jones has made cameo appearances in Waking Life and A Scanner Darkly.
Praga Khan inserted Jones soundbites into the song "Censorship Sucks" on the Lords of Acid record Deep Chills.
 Other dubious achievements
He also attempted to initiate a public
pissing contest argument with fellow loudmouth media figure Bill O'Reilly over a graphic on The O'Reilly Factor that put the words "Hate Speech" next to a photo of Jones. Jones' apparent solution is to stage a pay-for-view boxing match between himself and O'Reilly, which - if it happens - might be the only time that both contestants end up forfeiting because of cardiac issues before the match even begins.
On 9 June 2013, Jones was interviewed by the normally calm, cool, and collected BBC News correspondant Andrew Neil, over Jones' appearance at the Bilderberg conference protests. Jones took the opportunity to shout and scream numerous conspiracy theory bulletpoints, and repeatedly mentioned the URL of his website. Near the end of the interview, Neil sternly said, "You are the worst person I have ever interviewed." Afterwards, Jones shouted, "INFOWARSDOTCOM! Liberty is rising! Liberty is rising! Freedom will not stop! You will not stop freedom! You will not stop the republic! Humanity is awakening!" During Jones' rant, Neil turned to the camera and deadpanned, "We have an idiot on the program today!"  
Jones was also responsible for the creation of a truly awful SF meme on his show by insisting that the dual US-Russian plan to place Syria's chemical weapons under international control was in fact part of a cunning plan to kill off the human race and replace it with cyborgs.
In December 2013, Alex Jones announced that he would be boycotting the NFL because of the NFL's decision to ban a commercial submitted by a rifle manufacturer at the 2014 SuperBowl.
“”I ain't no ho! I ain't no ho! I ain't no ho! I ain't no ho, I ain't no bitch!
“”Devil worshiping pedophiles basically run the New World Order. They love death and they love killing babies.
“”I'm like a chimpanzee, in a tree, jumping up and down, warning other chimpanzees when I see a big cat coming through the woods… I'm the weirdo? Because I'm sitting in a tree going OOH OOH OOH AAH AAH AAH
“”Nerds are the biggest danger in America.
“”Bulldog bites a bull.
“”666 is a doubling of 33. And 33 is pi.
 See also
- Art Bell
- Lyndon LaRouche: If Jones had a crazy uncle, it would be this guy.
- The Obama Deception
- Endgame, one of his most popular films
- Waking Life rant
- Alex Jones, DMT, and the clockwork elves
- Alex Jones quote generator
- A Strange Man is Following You, New York Magazine
- Alex Jones v. Piers Morgan (One of the rare times you'll feel pity for the latter.)
- Alex Jones at the BBC One Sunday Politics "You are the worst person I ever interviewed" — Andrew Neil
- ↑ YouTube: Aaron Dykes on Alex Jones Tv: Aaron Talks About Bill # "666"
- ↑ Alex Jones Radio Show: Globalist Elite - Guidance by Machine Elves Contacted Through DMT
- ↑ The famous one John Williams introduced for Darth Vader in the Empire Strikes Back soundtrack; not the earlier Imperial March from the first Star Wars movie that hardly anyone remembers any more.
- ↑ Examples of Fundie Alex Jones http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fw1hDi6pxeU
- ↑ Homosexuality is part of the depopulation agenda, don't you know?
- ↑ Consider his complete agreement with Mike Adams on the Angelina Jolie breast cancer gene "hoax", for example
- ↑ Goldberg, Michelle. "Truther Consequences." The New Republic, 7 October 2009.
- ↑ Alex Jones Explains How Government "Weather Weapon" Could Have Been Behind Oklahoma Tornado, Media Matters
- ↑ "Shock jock" disrupts politics show
- ↑ Alex Jones - "Paul Joseph Watson just confronted Bilderberg member Ed Balls at the BBC. Video coming soon."
- ↑ Alex Jones Piers Morgan Part 1. 1776 Will Commence Again' If Guns Taken Away
- ↑ Adams interview
- ↑ Aldrin interview
- ↑ Buchanan interview
- ↑ Chomsky interview
- ↑ Corbyn interview
- ↑ Dobbs interview
- ↑ D'Souza interview
- ↑ http://www.infowars.com/nuclear-armageddon-if-wwiii-starts-lyndon-larouche-reports/]
- ↑ Farah: 'Spy drone' buzzed my home
- ↑ Farage interview
- ↑ Fujita interview
- ↑ Griffin interview
- ↑ Icke interview Alex Jones interviewing David Icke. Hold me, I'm scared.
- ↑ Kokesh interview
- ↑ Kucinich interview
- ↑ Marcavage interview
- ↑ Mike Judge Interview
- ↑ Monckton interview
- ↑ Nader interview
- ↑ Norris interview
- ↑ Ron Paul interview
- ↑ Rand Paul interview
- ↑ Rockwell interview
- ↑ Rudkowski interview
- ↑ Immortal Technique Interview
- ↑ Sheen interview
- ↑ Ventura interview
- ↑ Watt interview
- ↑ Stallman interview. Chris Hedges, who is the opposite of Alex Jones on the truth scale, also is a guest on this episode
- ↑ Jones Still Reporting the Wrong Suspect, Dispatches from the Culture Wars
- ↑ Body of Missing Student at Brown Is Discovered, New York Times
- ↑ Transcript & video
- ↑ JREF's Pigasus Awards “Honors” Dubious Peddlers of “Woo”, JREF web site
- ↑ Alex Jones Fires Back At ‘Coward, Punk, Rat Bastard’ O’Reilly: ‘You Think You’re So Tough?!’ Mediaite
- ↑ http://www.guardian.co.uk/media/2013/jun/09/andrew-neil-alex-jones-sunday-politics
- ↑ http://www.rawstory.com/rs/2013/06/09/bbc-host-to-alex-jones-you-are-the-worst-person-i-have-ever-interviewed/
- ↑ Alex Jones Links Syrian Weapons Proposal To Human Extinction Plot, Media Matters
- ↑ Alex Jones boycotts the NFL http://www.infowars.com/national-movement-to-boycott-nfl-launched/
- ↑ YouTube: Alex Jones Tv 1/2:The Pimp Game!
- ↑ Lulzy Moments From Alex Jones (video)
- ↑ You bet we are.
- ↑ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iAfaWzsHrLY
- ↑ Aaron Dykes on Alex Jones Tv: Aaron Talks About Bill # "666"