Bronze-level articleDavid Cameron

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I have declared war, to keep the people poor.Mwahahaha!
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God Save the Queen?


I would reassure those markets and investors that Britain's economy is fundamentally strong.
—Famous last words from John McCain. History doesn't repeat, but it definitely rhymes.[1]

David William Donald Hameron Cameron (born 1966), Unificator of Ireland, Liberator of Scots, was the shiny-faced leader of the UK Conservative Party and Prime Minister from 2010-2016. His role was to 'sell' austerity on behalf of a cabinet of inherited millionaires who do not need those social services.[2]

At 43, he was the youngest person to become Prime Minister since 1812, when Lord Liverpool took up the post at age 42. Cameron was the first PM to be re-elected with a larger popular vote share since 1900. He was also the first PM since Thatcher to be re-elected with a greater number of seats. He almost went down as the PM who won three referendums to... keep things exactly the same?

Initially presenting himself as the "heir to Blair" (right down to the hand movements) with the trappings of a Slick Willie,[3] Cameron has made it his life's work to surpass his idol in Margaret Thatcher and take her place as the most reviled name in modern British politics. At least Cheshire Cat and Milk Snatcher were authoritative leaders, with a clear vision of the future; Cameron's just the sludge that comes out when you squeeze a broken political system too hard. ("Compassionate Conservatism",[4] "Greenest Government Ever",[5][6] "NHS safe in our hands",[7] "Hug a Hoody",[8] etc.) On the other hand, Cameron kept the crazies within his party (mostly) in check. He legalised gay marriage. His "Big Society" was a fairy tale, but replacing welfare with volunteer and charity work is slightly better than Theresa May replacing it with sweet bugger-all. As the wise man said, "He was the future, once."[9]

Turns out that he was just a sock puppet, after all: There was an army of far-right euroskeptics just waiting in the wings to replace him. After losing the Brexit referendum, Cameron resigned as party leader and Prime Minister on 24 June 2016. He was replaced by Theresa May on 13 July 2016.

Contents

[edit] Personal life

Cameron is married, with a son and daughter; his oldest son died in February 2009 from a combination of cerebral palsy and epilepsy. In spite of this, his lackluster parenting skills are a minor running gag among the press. In 2012, he accidentally left his daughter at the pub where they had been dining, only realizing after they'd returned home. There was also his wife's unplanned pregnancy in the run-up to the election; he swears he doesn't understand it either.

Cameron is an avowed member of the Church of England. He attends Church but states that his religious beliefs do not affect his politics. Cameron has also stated that his religious beliefs were challenged by the death of his disabled son, Ivan Reginald Ian, but went on to say that in many ways the experience had strengthened his beliefs.

[edit] Call Me Dave

Let's get this outta the way: when he was drunk in school, he had sex with a dead pig, jumped on restaurant tables, and screamed about how much he hated the poor.[10][11] In 2015, it was alleged in the book Call Me Dave: The Unauthorised Biography of David Cameron, written in part by fellow Tory Michael Ashcroft, that was part of his initiation into the Piers Gaveston SocietyWikipedia's W.svg at Oxford. This sparked the Twitter hashtag #PigGate. Charlie Brooker swears[12] he had never heard this story when he was writing The National AnthemWikipedia's W.svg.

He's very much an upper class twat. He attended a private school rather than state schools, stacked his shadow cabinet with private school graduates, and he's even descended from an illegitimate child of King William IV, who incidentally loved his illegitimate children. Gove and Cameron even used to geek-out over Game of Thrones together. (Hard to see them doing that now, especially since his former classmates knifed him in the back, and he's done his level best to return the favour.)

Cameron's from a background where getting it a bit wrong doesn't really have any consequences.[13] Rich entrepreneurs can take incredible, crazy risks that no one starting from the ground up would take, because there is always a cushion. (It was the sports facilities, playgrounds, children, the social carers who caused the recession. They should be the ones that suffer!) This feeds through into his professional role: he's not used to the idea of an apparently small gamble having disastrous consequences down the line.

[edit] Leader of the Opposition

When he first arrived on the scene, Cameron was presented as a fresh faced eco-warrior who was soft on drugs[14]—a sort of right-wing analogue to Blair.[15] After winning the party leadership in December 2005, he "stepped up his modernization drive", indicating to move away from the old Tory platform of standing up for big business, scrapping (subsidized) private healthcare, and generally part from Thatcherite principles.[16] He vowed to make people "feel good about being Conservatives again" and said he wanted "to switch on a whole new generation", which he started by banning lavish parties, pools, spending, and consumption among all members of the Conservative Party.

He has also placed emphasis on his Party's previously vague environmental credentials[17] by cycling to work while a car carrying his papers follows him.[18] His stated desire to "stand up to big business" began with opposing a law that would make businesses more socially and environmentally accountable.[19] Nonetheless, he seems to have maintained the climate change targets introduced by Tony Blair since entering office.

To be fair, he's not that ideological of a person, Catholic or not. He practices social liberalism, supports ethnic diversity (ironic, we know), appears open to granting more autonomy to Scotland and Wales, seems interested in giving self-rule to England, and passed gay marriage while Prime Minister (in Coalition with the Liberal Democrats), despite vehement protests by the more homophobic members of his party, and the majority of his party voting against the same-sex marriage bill.[20][21] Still, he quickly drew arched brows for suggestions of Euroscepticism. His actual feelings on the issue are not clear (Boris Johnson and the esteemed Daily Express both assure us he's a separatist at heart), but he decided to appease the skeptics of the Tory party by promising a referendum on the British exit of the European Union. He claims doing so was a calculated risk taken in order to firmly destroy any future chances of a Brexit.[22] He soon found himself backpedaling ferociously as a substantial portion of the British people made it abundantly clear that they actually wanted to leave the EU; in weeks leading up to the vote, he desperately urged people, reporters, television cameras and occasionally crowds to vote Remain- in vain. As of late June 2016, the whole thing happily exploded in his face, and he announced his resignation from the prime ministership. But we digress.

Another knock in favor of Cameron is that, in his fourth year as Prime Minister, he passed the Succession to the Crown Act of 2013, which came into effect on March 2015. This means the Royal Family of the United Kingdom finally has absolute primogeniture; the eldest child is the heir, regardless of gender. It took millennium to get there, but they finally did it. The act also ended the disqualification of a person who married a Roman Catholic from the line of succession, and removed the requirement of those outside the first six persons in line to the throne to seek the Sovereign's approval to marry.

[edit] 2010 Election

The good people of Britain were not impressed. While all media outlets predicted Cameron would take the Conservatives to a comfortable majority, the voters apparently thought he wasn't sincere in his modernization, or felt he was too bland, and delivered hung parliament in May 2010. He pulled a Dewey by assuming that he was guaranteed victory so long as he didn't say anything stupid, which instead just convinced the voting public that he had no real policies. "I agree with Nick" certainly wrecked his chances too.

So, hung parliament? Too volatile for any party to experience in Britain, so he recruited Nick Clegg as Deputy Prime Minister and moved into a coalition government with the Liberal Democrats. Murdoch's power isn't what it used to be: The Sun can no longer claim that it wins elections, hence the Coalition.

Clegg could not have formed a government with Labour, but remained kingmaker anyway, and presented himself as a tempering voice for the Conservatives.

[edit] Prime Minister

The Labour Party is now a threat to our national security, our economic security and your family's security.
—A Tweet by the twat himself[23]

Those promises didn't fall through. Anchored by George Osborne, Cameron unveiled an austerity program targeting lower-class women, minorities, students, immigrants, and people with disabilities, despite having lost a child to illness himself.[24] Many are kicking themselves for allowing "business as usual" under a Tory government yet again. Under his premiership, the United Kingdom has one of the highest rates of income inequality in the western world, with just as sluggish economic growth. (Hard to believe people will look back on Gordon Brown with some fondness.)

[edit] Big Society

Due to the deficit inherited from the previous government, the Cameron government has been forced to cut all hope. Hope will be contracted to the private sector with the tender process to start early in the next parliament. In the mean time, concerned citizens are advised to purchase hope on an individual basis from suitable local dealers.

His name for the austerity program responsible for the wealth gap is the "Big Society". He hiked taxes on the middle and lower class, slashed spending on social programs, and cut taxes on the rich while withering away public services so they can be volunteer-run. He has great passion for it, championing it as "giving from the rich to the poor":

[edit] No free lunch

David Cameron recently stood up in the Commons and berated Jeremy Corbyn for having a shadow cabinet too far-fetched “even for a script [of] The Thick of It”... It was tempting to tweet that Cameron has a Culture and Media Secretary who joked about closing the BBC, a housing minister who’s reducing public housing stock, a Justice Secretary who’s tasked with repealing the Human Rights Act, and a Health Secretary who can’t stand doctors and makes me sick. But why bother?

—Armando Iannucci[25]

Taking a page from Bill Clinton, Cameron is now trying to end welfare as we know it. He cut 5 billion pounds in pensions and disability benefits, which have led to 60 deaths that would've been preventable had he not, you know, cut the damn things. These incidents where preventable illnesses killed people is now known as "never events" – as in, they never should have happened. His workfare program also strips the working poor of their benefits whenever their employers just decide to do so.

Thanks to Osborne, we now have the dreaded "Bedroom Tax", or Welfare Reform Act 2012, which reduces the benefits paid to claimants if they are deemed to have too much living space in the property they are renting while completely ignoring that these people are often unable to find smaller accommodation (typically due to the Tories' earlier right to buy policy all but dissolving the remaining social housing stock). Stay at home mothers are stripped of their benefits for their "lifestyle" choices (i.e. not being working mothers), as well. His hard-on for Zero Hour Contracts also lead to, in effect, state-sponsored slave labour. It's gotten so bad, Food Banks are surging in both number and usage because people don't have the money to get their own food.[26] At this point, it's surprising that he's not actually setting fire to beggars. (They get that out of their system whilst they're at Oxford.)

[edit] Taxes

Anyone who believes Cameron would deal with tax avoidance rationally should consider his own father, with whom he was very close, having vast sums of money in offshore tax havens, far more consequential than Labour's last "reshuffle" or whatever nonsense tends to occupy the minds of Cameron supporters.[27] He almost certainly knew the details of father's offshore arrangements in tax havens and has still done the minimum he could possibly get away with on tax loopholes. According to Vince Cable, he was successfully lobbied by tax havens, and blocked an attempt by the EU to crack down on tax avoidance.[28]

On top of that, his tax returns show that he makes a sizeable income as a landlord, despite having been repeatedly accused of policies favourable to landlords.[29] Now he's complaining that it's "unfair" to remove the vale of secrecy surrounding British tax havens. There's way too many of his chums who'll go ape if they start talking about that particular den of law-breaking and secrecy. It's funny how he isn't he even pretending to represent normal people anymore. All those working-class Tories look like idiots now.[30]

[edit] Education

Is he as horrid as the GOP for their outright hatred of education and promotion of bullshit rather than facts? No, but it is as close to a privatization as we've seen to date in the United Kingdom.

The Personal Independence Payment, which replaced the Disability Living Allowance, denied benefits to disabled citizens and required them to look for work; work they could not do because of their disability. Between 2011 and 2014, 90 people a month died after being declared "fit to work" and having their benefits removed.[31] The Education Act of 2011 abolished the General Teaching Council for England, the Training and Development Agency for Schools, the Qualification and Curriculum Development Agency, the Young People's Learning Agency for England, and the School Support Staff Negotiating Body, and transferred all of their powers to the Secretary of State; centralizing authority to an ideological branch who is not interested in free and fair education. It restricts the ability for students to report on allegations made against teachers, allows the school staff to commit Stop and Frisk on their fellow staffers and students, even if they are under the age of criminal responsibility (which is 10 years old in the UK).

Teachers are also given the power to examine data files on electronic devices and delete them if they "believe" there is good reason to do so. All new teachers in England are to be required to serve an induction period conducted by the Secretary of State. New schools may not be built until approved by the Secretary of State. The number of different categories of governors that must be elected or appointed to a school's governing body was reduced, while Section 39 makes provision for the procedure to dissolve the governing body of a single school within a wider federation of schools should the school wish to leave the federation in order to convert to academy status. The Secretary of State even has the authority to close any school that has failed to comply with performance standards, removes the requirement of the Local Government Ombudsman to consider complaints about a school from parents and pupils, as well as strengthening the Secretary of State's power to intervene when they are of the opinion that a governing body is acting or intends to act in an unreasonable manner. Schools are no longer allowed to "promote the economic and social well being of an area". What most people remember most is the raising of tuition fees on students attending higher education.

This is your greatest insight into his mindset on education. He insists that going to private school had nothing to do with his decision to pack the shadow cabinet with his privileged fellows. He flat out deleted all mention of their education. George Osborne was not educated at St. Paul's, just "in London", Jeremy Hunt went to school "in Surrey", specifically Charterhouse, and Cheryl Gillan describes Cheltenham Ladies' College as "educated at local schools". Fellow Etonian Oliver Letwin edits out his entire youth and the man himself "worked in business and government".

[edit] Hater of Houses

He sold off thousands of houses over to the private sector, as well, and in the 2015 campaign, promised to extend the "right to buy" (previously instituted under the Thatcher government, and allowing tenants of council-owned social housing to buy their home at a knock-down price) to homes owned by housing associations - which means that not only will a new government under Cameron sell off the rest of what is a damn-near skeletal social housing supply, they will also sell off houses that the government does not actually own, given that housing associations are independent NGOs. To own a house, the private sector will charge extortionate fees to change stuff as simple as a light bulb. This is called social housing, and it is horrid.[32]

[edit] Anti-transparency

Now, Cameron did remove the Identity cards under Tony Blair, but kept the anti-terrorism program intact, allowing the government to hound whistleblowers over the government's alliance with the American surveillance program.

David Miranda, an outspoken dissident against the intelligence apparatus of his country, cataloged encrypted files, including an external hard drive containing 58,000 highly classified UK intelligence documents, "in order to assist the journalistic activity of Glenn Greenwald". This included personal information that would allow staff to be identified, including those deployed overseas. Miranda was promptly detained and questioned by the Cameron government, who confiscated Miranda's computer and other electronic devices that attempted to blow the whistle on the extent of the British surveillance program.[33][34]

[edit] Doctors are the new miners

Sounds like a typical Tory toff, you say. What sets him apart from the others, you wonder? What is he remembered the most over, you ask? Taking a page from the Americans and privatizing the National Health Service – something even Thatcher would not dare to do.[35]

Under the Health and Social Care Act of 2012, Cameron removed the Secretary of Health's responsibility over the health of citizens, which the post had carried since the creation of the NHS in 1948, thereby depriving the NHS of a direct system leadership. A new executive agency for the Department of Health, called Public Health England, was established to oversee healthcare instead. Cameron abolished NHS primary care trusts (PCTs) and Strategic Health Authorities (SHAs), and transferred between £60 billion and £80 billion of "commissioning", or health care funds, from the abolished PCTs to several hundred "clinical commissioning groups", most of which are avenues owned and run by – who else? – private insurance. Yes, Cameron is trying to turn the revered British healthcare system into a two-tier, public-private duel that strips the public of its funding in exchange for empowering the private sector. Keep taking out enough bricks and eventually the wall will come down, and there's a whole bunch of friends waiting to rebuild it for a cost.

Oh, he's also privatized cancer treatment, end of life services, plasma suppliers, urgent care, prison health, mental health services, ambulance services, and maternity care. Oh, and he cut funding to heart and stroke care.

This lie that the British Medical Association is some sort of Leninist sect rather than a group of lily-white and (until recently) conservative professionals is not a very convincing one.[36] If you ever needed proof of just how far up its arse the Conservative Party is, this is it.

[edit] James Bondage

Okay, you say, Americanization is fairly uncouth, but at least he isn't as socially conservative as the GOP, right? Well... you'd be wrong. Cameron gained international infamy for trying to force web hosts to "filter out" porn on their services. Not to worry, it's not like Cameron will suddenly decide to ban a more specific form of pornography, say, one made famous by a book that used to be a Twilight fanfic.

Oh. Wait. Of course he did. Instead of a straight up porn filter, we now have a BDSM filter. Among the things now listed as "life-threatening", and therefore explicitly banned, are penetration by any object "associated with violence" (you know, like the dick), physical or verbal abuse (even with consent), role-playing, physical restraint, and so on.[37] The acts themselves are not banned, but the recording of these acts, and thus, the publishing and viewing of these acts on the internet, has been deemed unlawful. Many of these practices involved female enjoyment, by the way. It gets the Conservative backbenchers cheering!

In the wake of the Charlie Hebdo terrorist attacks, Cameron has proposed a ban on "end-to-end encryption", which would disproportionately target social messaging medium. Services like WhatsApp, iMessage, Telegram, Cyberdust and more would be forced to change their services to ensure they could function in the UK. The law's doubtlessly broad wording could include any encrypted service that the government finds annoying.[38] Any person who communicates using encryption or sends encrypted files would be required to provide government officials access to cryptographically-protected information. Those refusing to hand over their password could face up to two years in prison.

[edit] Taking a hand at stand-up, is he?

In 2013, he pushed for the UK to attack Syria during its civil war. Parliament voted no, largely on the back of Ed Miliband of all people. Cameron was the first prime minister in over 100 years to lose a foreign policy vote in the House of Commons. He clearly saw the hate that Tony Blair generates, and then reminded himself that he hates competition.[39]

Of course, with hindsight, this would have been precisely the wrong thing to do, since it would have created an Iraq-style power vacuum for another, bigger, more virulent bunch of cunts.

[edit] Off the chain

For too long, we have been a passively tolerant society, saying to our citizens: as long as you obey the law, we will leave you alone. This government will conclusively turn the page on this failed approach.
—Something that was quoted almost directly by Doctor Doom. Seriously.[40]

On the eve of the May 2015 election, Prime Minister Cameron implemented straight-up voter disenfranchisement, right out of the GOP playbook. Cameron barred everyone in a household from registering on one form. Colleges are banned from registering all their students. If people arrive with proof of identity to vote, they are still not allowed to register on election day. All told, over seven million people remain unregistered, mainly young and poor – and they don't vote Tory.

In an election result comparable with Bibi's Blowout (which took place the same year) or 04's Jesusland, Cameron somehow got a majority government in 2015. We'll chalk it up to Ed Miliband having a goofy face and Nick Clegg's idea of bargaining being to 'give up all our policies.'

With the gloves now off, and aided by a highly-partisan press, he painted Labour as being in cahoots with the Scottish separatist movement (despite Labour promises to the contrary). By further driving a wedge between Scotland and England, he cemented the position of the Scottish nationalists at the moment, which might have dire consequences down the road.

Oliver Letwin, the chief architect of Cameron's policies and chair of the Cabinet Office (basically the British version of the White House Chief of Staff), told Margaret Thatcher to block relief for black communities after the Tottenham riots, claiming the violence was caused by "bad moral attitudes" and that the funding would only be spent on "disco and the drug trade".[41] It seems that, like their ideological hero, the party is on course to combine the worst parts of neoliberalism with creeping authoritarianism (Fucking Thatcher. Of all the planets to crash land onto, why ours?):

  • He tried to ban the House of Lords from overturning legislation passed in the House of Commons. [42] He later changed that to "severely curtailed." [43] Good job on upholding democracy!
  • In an attempt to tackle so-called extremism, Prime Minister David Cameron unveiled a set of anti-terror laws that force citizens to "send their tweets and Facebook posts to the police for approval",[44] and has advocated that Britain scrap the Human Rights Act in order to deport Muslims foreign criminals. As the Grauniad puts it, "promising to stop thousands of foreign criminals walking the streets of Britain because they can't be deported raises complicated issues of sending people back to countries where they are in danger of facing torture or inhumane or degrading treatment".[45] But then they would, wouldn't they?
  • And now, Cameron is instituting a program that monitors and tracks your Facebook, Twitter, and blogosphere whenever you mention the government, so they know exactly who says what (whether pro-government or anti-government).[46] His Home Secretary, Theresa May, is looking to ban WhatsApp, Facebook Messenger and Snapchat under the "Snoopers Charter," which means social media sites and apps will be shut down if they refuse to remove encryption.[47] This is the single most intrusive and draconian surveillance law ever constructed by a Western country. It's all part and parcel of Cameron's threat to ban any sites that refuse to comply. He wants to leverage them into allowing backdoor access to the government.[48]
  • Cameron's government, again through Theresa May, will ban foreign students from working while studying, and force them to leave after graduation; thereby deporting anyone who doesn't contort to the "preferred" class of society that Cameron supports.[49]
  • Taking a page from Barack Obama, on September 2015, Cameron revealed that he sanctioned an extrajudicial drone attack that killed Reyaad Khan and Ruhul Amin on August 21, in Raqqah, Syria (de facto controlled by ISIL at the time). A third person, yet unnamed, was also killed in the strike. He alleged that Khan and Amin were supporting Daesh; Defense Minister Michael Fallon even said "It is extremely clear that, where there was a vital national interest at stake, we wouldn’t hesitate to take action rather than seek prior permission, to take action and then come and explain to parliament afterwards and that’s exactly what happened yesterday."
  • He sent people to spy on Jeremy Corbyn, the frontrunner in Labour's leadership election in 2015.[50]

[edit] Death of a Salesman

[edit] You Brexit, you pays for it

You know, I've spent ten years detoxifying this party. It's been a bit like renovating an old, old house, yeah? You can take out a sexist beam here, a callous window there, replace the odd homophobic roof tile. But after a while you realise that this renovation is doomed. Because the foundations are built on what I can only describe as a solid bed of cunts.
—Stewart Pearson, The Thick of It

The UK's first referendum was in 1974. There was never a referendum on NI or Scotland becoming independent. (NI got one to join Ireland but it was boycotted, so it hardly counts.) Cameron gave the UK 2 referendums and Scotland 1. It wasn't an exercise in democracy when Sarkozy offered a series of referendums (on immigration) a couple weeks before the election, in a desperate bid to head off the Front National. But this is the way with Tories: In an election year, they like to get in close and shank their opponents in the liver. Works well on easy prey like the bewildered Labour and Lib Dem wildebeest. But now they've got themselves in a python deathgrip.

He's taken two stupid and unnecessary gambles. The first was the Scottish referendum, which he won, but by less than expected and only after he backpedaled hard on his comments. A few hours after the referendum he comes out and declares the half-arsed EVEL (English Votes for English Laws) policy to massage the English Tories and kick that can down the road.[51] The second one was Brexit. In a fit of panic over UKIP's triumph at the polls, he comes out and announces a EU referendum (shoving it onto the next parliament so he won't have to deal with it) so he can knife Miliband and chalk up another 'win.'[52] If you have the majority, you don't risk it on a 50-50 vote that can only be bad for you.[note 1]

Brexit took 52% of the vote to Remain's 48%. It's not that the pollsters were so off, it's that everyone assumed the "shy Tories" would break for stay. Cameron didn't realize just how bad fear and unrest had gotten in the UK. The referendum is not legally binding (unless parliament voted to repeal the act that led the UK join the EU to begin with), but if he hadn't have done, the Conservatives would have lost even more votes to UKIP.

Because of this vote, Scotland will again try for independence in a few years, then rejoin the EU.[53] Northern Ireland (where the stay vote dominated in Catholic areas but lost in Protestant ones) looks likely to join with Ireland proper in order to regain EU member benefits.[54] Spain is calling dibs on Gibraltar.(Not The Onion) Britain, welcome to the free world. (It better be free, we're not buying anything with the pound!)[55] People used to believe it's all House of Cards 15-steps-ahead chess, but the reality is more likely that he left subsequent generations with the "Kingdom" of Wales and flushed a EU membership full of beneficial (to the UK) special exceptions down the pipe for short-term electoral success. Plonker.

He spent 11 years dragging the Tory party kicking and screaming into the modern age, but his legacy is going to be Chamberlain-tier.[56] Perhaps he wanted to be remembered as the bloke who broke two unions (Welp, we had a good 200-year run!) instead of pig fucker extraordinaire.

[edit] Poison chalice

As I leave today I hope people will see a stronger country.
—Yes, it's just across the water and it's called Germany.[57]

The morning after the referendum, he announced his intention to resign in time for the Conservative Party Conference in October.[58] It is a kamikaze moment in British politics. He left no clear successor, and whoever succeeds him will be in a no-win situation. Osbourne's been left blowing in the wind like a discarded crisp packet. Never before have you seen a more depressed victor (in Britain, we mean) than Boris at that press conference. He was in a position to take control at the next general by neutering UKIP (offering himself and the Tories as a viable alternative). If he runs now, but fails to negotiate a golden parachute from Europe, then he's dead. Article 50 is going to create far more bureaucracy than the EU ever had. UKIP is pushing hard for a quick exit.[59]

Even if it goes through, and the UK pulls out, then prepare to be slimed by the mess of Scotland, Ireland, and a recession. This is even funnier when you remember that Boris and Gove signed a letter begging Cameron to stay on—like they knew the shit was about to hit the fan.[60] Teflon Tony's gonna be nothing next to Nonstick Dave.

[edit] Videos

[edit] Other stuff

Icon fun.svg For those of you in the mood, RationalWiki has a fun article about David Cameron.

[edit] Notes

  1. Irrespective of who won, everybody loses with this type of referendum. If the Remain people won, all the Leave supporters will never stop chanting about how they were robbed by the elites. The Leave people won, but the 5 years now and the next GE won't be long enough to really change anything, which will provoke an even stronger xenophobic reaction when it rolls around in 2020.

[edit] References

  1. "British PM: Economy is fundamentally strong ", CNN 6.24.16.
  2. Hardy, Ruth, "It was hard to stomach David Cameron preaching austerity from a golden throne", Guardian (11/13/13 at 7:58 EST).
  3. "The Cameron Confessions", Independent 2.10.07.
  4. Wright, Oliver, "End of 'compassionate Conservatism' as David Cameron details plans for crackdown on welfare", Independent 7.25.12.
  5. Keating, David, "The greenest government ever?", Politico via European Voice (Updated 1/15/16, 5:40 PM CET).
  6. Dathan, Matt, "David Cameron's vow to lead 'greenest Government ever' lies in tatters as Tories axe Green Deal home energy efficiency scheme", Independent 7..23.15.
  7. Matthew Holehouse, and Ben Riley-Smith, "David Cameron: The NHS is 'safe in my hands'", Telegraph (1/9/15 at 4:57PM GMT).
  8. Brown, Jonathan, "On Cameron's 'hug a hoodie' estate, Big Society has made little impact", Independent 10.5.11.
  9. "Cameron v Blair at first PMQs: 'He was the future once' – 2005 archive video", Guardian (7/13/16 at 6:52 AM EDT).
  10. This is not a joke.
  11. [1] AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA OH WOW
  12. 9.20.15 Tweet, 4:17 PM.
  13. John Follain and Simon Kennedy, "For Gambler Cameron, Brexit Proves to Be a Bet Too Far", Bloomberg (6/24/16 at 4:32 AM PDT, updated 8:24 AM PDT).
  14. Simons, Jake Wallis, "Drug Legalisation in the UK Is a Question of Time", Newsweek (8/15/14 at 6:41 AM).
  15. Tories in Birmingham, BBC (10/5/08 at 11:20 PM).
  16. Cameron says he is breaking with legacy of Thatcher, The Telegraph, January 2006
  17. Conservatives - Environment
  18. No, we're not making this up
  19. Conservatives' green credentials exposed, Act!onaid 10.16.06.
  20. MP-by-MP: Gay marriage vote. BBC News 5 February 2013.
  21. He was also previously supportive of Section 28, and did not want to see the "promotion of homosexuality" in schools. Presumably, his experience with Clegg changed his mind on the matter.
  22. David Cameron resigns. Guardian 24 June 2013.
  23. 9.13.15 Tweet, 10:20 PM GMT.
  24. Atkinson, Rebecca, "How David Cameron has betrayed people with disabilities", Guardian (Last modified 7/14/17 at 8:18 AM EDT).
  25. Ianucci, "From Trump to Boris, I wouldn’t write The Thick of It now – politics already feels fictional enough", New Statesman 6.9.16. Lately, UK media is approaching the American situation where comedians are the primary source of real news. That's a bad sign.
  26. Gentleman, Amelia, "Food banks: 'Most people at the school gates have used them'", Guardian (Last modified 7/14/16 at 8:12 EDT).
  27. Holly Watt, Juliette Garside and David Pegg "David Cameron's father sought legal advice on best tax havens ", The Guardian (4/7/16 01:00 EDT ).
  28. Stewart, Heather, "Vince Cable: Cameron 'got cold feet' on tax avoidance crackdown", Guardian (4/8/16 02.00 EDT).
  29. Fenton, Siobhan, "David Cameron 'has earned £500,000 in private rent since becoming Prime Minister'", Independent 1.16.16.
  30. Jon Stone & Charlie Cooper, "David Cameron says it is 'unfair' to criticise British-controlled tax havens", Independent 4.13.16.
  31. "More than 2,300 died after fit for work assessment - DWP figures", BBC 8.27.15.
  32. Moore, Suzanne, "Extending right to buy is the Tories’ zombie Thatcherism at its worst", Guardian (4/14/15 at 7:35 AM EDT).
  33. Devereaux, Ryan, "UK Court: David Miranda Detention Legal Under Terrorism Law", Intercept (2/19/14 at 2:23 AM).
  34. Alan Travis, Matthew Taylor and Patrick Wintour, "David Miranda detention at Heathrow airport was lawful, high court rules", Guardian (Last modified 2/19/14 at 5:19 PM EST).
  35. "Miliband warns of 'stealth privatisation' of NHS", BBC 4/25/15.
  36. "Junior doctors' leaders 'trying to topple the government'", BBC 4.25.16. Heavens, the government wouldn't try to smear its opposition would it? (You don't just quote "unnamed sources" when they're that sensational.)
  37. "The End of BDSM", Vice
  38. Williams, Owen,. http://thenextweb.com/opinion/2015/01/13/david-camerons-plan-ban-end-end-encryption-catastrophic-internet-freedom/ "David Cameron’s plan to ban end-to-end encryption is catastrophic for Internet freedom"], TNW 2015.
  39. Robert Hutton and Thomas Petty, " Historic Vote Sees Cameron Defeated by Lawmakers on Syria", Bloomberg (3/30/13 at 12:57 AM PDT).
  40. Doré, Louis, "Marvel villains are now quoting David Cameron", Indy100 2015.
  41. Travis, Alan, "Oliver Letwin blocked help for black youth after 1985 riots", Guardian' (Last modified on 7/14/16 at 7:15 AM EDT).
  42. Hughes, Laura, "David Cameron to ban House of Lords from overturning legislation", Telegraph (12/7/15 at 7:57AM GMT).
  43. "Lords veto powers 'to be curtailed'", BBC 12.16.15.
  44. Stone, Jon, "Britain is too tolerant and should interfere more in people's lives, says David Cameron", Independent 5.13.15.
  45. Alan Travis. Tories' bid to scrap Human Rights Act looks simplistic and rushed. The Grauniad, 11 May 2015.
  46. Readhead, Harry, "Your Facebook, Twitter and blog are about to be monitored for references to the Government", Metro (6/5/15 at 6:04 pm).
  47. Johnston, Ian, "David Cameron pledges new 'snoopers' charter' if he wins general election", Independent 1.11.15.
  48. Griffin, Andrew, "WhatsApp and iMessage could be banned under new surveillance plans", Independent 1.12.15.
  49. Dathan, Matt, "oreign students will be banned from working in the UK and forced to leave as soon as they finish course under Theresa May's tough new visa rules", Independent 7/13/15.
  50. Jim Edwards and Lianna Brinded, "David Cameron is sending people to spy on Jeremy Corbyn", Business Insider (9/9/15 at 5:30 AM).
  51. Peterkin, Tom, "English Votes for English Laws (EVEL) passed by Westminster", The Scotsman (10/22/16, updated at 11:88 pm).
  52. Mason, Rowena, "Labour accuses Tories of plotting ‘poisonous’ pact with Ukip ", Guardian (4/3/15 at 12:22 EDT). Farage: *laughs like Ron Swanson*
  53. Dan Bloom and Stacey Williams, "Nicola Sturgeon raises threat of second Scottish independence referendum after England votes for Brexit", Mirror (6/24/16 at 06:03 am, updated 6:58 am).
  54. Chabat, Seerat, "Brexit: Sinn Féin Calls For Poll On Irish Unity After Northern Ireland Votes To Remain In EU Referendum", International Business Times (06/24/16 at 2:39 AM).
  55. Lauren Davidson and Peter Spencer, "UK now poorer than France as pound hits 30-year low", Telegraph (6/24/16 at 12:25pm ). Holy shit. We assumed the pound would take a dive if Leave won, but not sink to the ocean floor.
  56. Cowburn, Ashley, "David Cameron rated third worst Prime Minister since end of World War Two", 10.12.16. Independent. He couldn't even be #1 at that!
  57. Swinford, Steven, "David Cameron: I leave Britain a 'stronger country with a thriving economy and more chances to get on'" Telegraph (7/12/16 at 10:00pm).
  58. Tim Sculthorpe and Imogen Calderwood, "'Why should I do the hard s***?' Cameron told aides he'd rather quit", Daily Mail (Updated 6/25/16 at 07:15 EST). Dave: Boris, I left a present for you in the bathroom.
  59. Jennifer Rankin, Julian Borger, and Mark Rice-Oxley, "What is article 50 and why is it so central to the Brexit debate?", Guardian (6/25/16 at 07:32 EDT).
  60. "Leave campaign Tories urge Cameron to stay PM", BBC 6.24.16.
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