Prohibition Party

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Prohibition propaganda. Think of the children's body fluids!

The Prohibition Party is America's Oldest Third Party™. It was founded in 1869, and as the name implies they have but one overriding issue: prohibition of alcohol.

Their current platform is strictly Religious Right, calls the U.S. a Christian nation, and except for alcohol prohibition looks much like the Constitution Party's views,[1] but historically (in the 1800s, at least) the party had an admixture of socialist, pacifist, and feminist crusaders mixed in with the usual fundamentalist Protestant crusaders. Their current platform also calls for the prohibition of abortion, gambling, and homosexual conduct, and stricter laws governing tobacco and "commercialized vice." They also encourage people to put their money into socially responsible investing, which is typically a left-wing cause but endorsed by the Prohibitionists because these funds do not invest in the liquor industry.[2]

[edit]

In keeping with the tradition of U.S. political parties using donkeys, elephants, black panthers, and porcupines as mascots, the mascot of the Prohibition Party is the camel. Camels don't drink very much.[3] They did later change the logo to a different version to avoid the appearance of being associated with Camel cigarettes.[4]

[edit] Candidated

While only able even in their heyday to elect one California congressman and one Florida governor, big-P Prohibition spread as a holy cause among both major parties and became policy in 1919 with the passage of the 18th Amendment to the United States Constitution largely without their help. After the passage of the 18th Amendment and its subsequent repeal, the Prohibition Party faded into obscurity and has been on life support ever since.

For the 2004 Presidential campaign they split into two factions, one supporting perennial candidate Earl Dodge, the other supporting Gene Amondson. Their 2008 presidential candidate was Gene Amondson, who was on the ballot only in Colorado, Florida, and Louisiana and got 643 votes, their second worst showing ever. Earl Dodge died in 2007[5] and Gene Amondson died in 2009.[6] Their 2012 nominee is Lowell "Jack" Fellure,[7] an apparent King James Onlyite whose campaign platform begins with "My Presidential Campaign Platform is the Authorized 1611 King James Bible. God Almighty wrote that Book as the supreme constitution and absolute authority in the affairs of all men for all time and eternity."[8] However, Fellure's national total of 518 votes (dead last)[9] suggests any divine assistance was meager at best.

[edit] Footnotes

  1. Prohibition Party 2004 platform
  2. http://www.prohibitionists.org/Background/Party_Platform/Socially_Responsible_Investments.html
  3. Um, hello. Camels don't drink very much water. Good choice, there. And worse, camels do drink about as much water as other animals their size; after days without a drink, they'll make up for it by chugging down gallons.
  4. http://www.prohibitionists.org/Background/background.html
  5. http://www.nytimes.com/2007/11/10/us/10dodge.html?_r=2&ref=us&oref=slogin
  6. http://www.ballot-access.org/2009/07/21/gene-amondson-dies/
  7. Politics1.com: 2012 Presidential Candidates
  8. Jack Fellure 2012 website
  9. USElectionAtlas.org: 2012 Presidential General Election Results
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