RationalWiki:Annotated Qur'an/The Cow

Annotated Qur'an
Sura 2: The Cow
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Qur'an 2:1 Alif, Lam, Meem.	Qur'an 2:1 Notes At the beginning of each chapter, the Qur'an will have a few Arabic letters, for no real reason. Unfortunately, a startling number of Muslims believe that these letters are actually super-duper secret messages though most just accept that these letter's meaning is known only to Allah.

Qur'an 2:2 This is the Book in which there is no doubt, a guide for the righteous.	Qur'an 2:2 Notes The Qur'an is quick to affirm its own inerrancy. However, much like the Bible, the Qur'an provides no actual evidence of its inerrancy.

Qur'an 2:3 Those who believe in the unseen, and perform the prayers, and give from what We have provided for them.	Qur'an 2:3 Notes There are atheistic interpretations of Christianity, such as Jesusism and Christian atheism. Qur'an 2:3 rejects any analogous interpretation of Islam.

Qur'an 2:4 And those who believe in what was revealed to you, and in what was revealed before you, and are certain of the Hereafter.	Qur'an 2:4 Notes The Qur'an is also quick to dangle the carrot of the afterlife. Not exactly original, but quite explicit.

Qur'an 2:5 These are upon guidance from their Lord. These are the successful.	Qur'an 2:5 Notes Allah wishes to dispense quickly with anyone's questions of whether people actually need him.

Qur'an 2:6 As for those who disbelieve—it is the same for them, whether you have warned them, or have not warned them—they do not believe.

Qur'an 2:6 Notes Notes for Quran 2:6-7: That's another one for the list! The Qur'an states that it is pointless to attempt to evangelize to non-Muslims. The existence of persons that were non-Muslims and then converted to Islam makes this an interesting claim.The Qur'an tells us that Allah leads the disbelievers astray. Does he? Here we have a chicken-egg problem: does Allah seal their hearing and hearts and cover their eyes because they disbelieve, or do they disbelieve because of his intervention? If the former, there's not much explanation of Allah's feeling threatened by a lack of belief in him. If the latter, it does not inspire confidence that Allah confers an awful doom on people merely for acting out the script he hands them.

Qur'an 2:7 God has set a seal on their hearts and on their hearing, and over their vision is a veil. They will have a severe torment.	Qur'an 2:7 Notes See Qur'an 2:6.

Qur'an 2:8 Among the people are those who say, “We believe in God and in the Last Day,” but they are not believers.	Qur'an 2:8 Notes Notes for Qur'an 2:8-10: This verse and the two that follow represent a rather dramatic rebuke of faking belief in order to "win" Pascal's wager. There's only room in Islam for True Believers™. The Qur'an tells us that Allah leads the disbelievers astray ("increaseth their disease"). Does he?

Qur'an 2:9 They seek to deceive God and those who believe, but they deceive none but themselves, though they are not aware.	Qur'an 2:9 Notes See Qur'an 2:8.

Qur'an 2:10 In their hearts is sickness, and God has increased their sickness. They will have a painful punishment because of their denial.	Qur'an 2:10 Notes See Qur'an 2:8.

Qur'an 2:11 And when it is said to them, “Do not make trouble on earth,” they say, “We are only reformers.”	Qur'an 2:11 Notes Those naughty non-believers, making mischief and causing problems. They should be more like religious folk, who have never done anything impolite or destructive.

Qur'an 2:12 In fact, they are the troublemakers, but they are not aware.	Qur'an 2:12 Notes On mischief, see Qur'an 2:11. On lack of perception, see Qur'an 2:10.

Qur'an 2:13 And when it is said to them, “Believe as the people have believed,” they say, “Shall we believe as the fools have believed?” In fact, it is they who are the fools, but they do not know.	Qur'an 2:13 Notes That's another one for the list! Believe as the people believe seems like a classic case of Argumentum ad populum. By the way: How can we tell who has the false beliefs here, Muhammad? Doesn't everyone think they're right, and everyone else is foolish?

Qur'an 2:14 And when they come across those who believe, they say, “We believe”; but when they are alone with their devils, they say, “We are with you; we were only ridiculing.”	Qur'an 2:14 Notes As soon as the Muslims leave the room, all the nonbelievers whip out their sacrificial altar and start praying to evil demons. Yep.

Qur'an 2:15 It is God who ridicules them, and leaves them bewildered in their transgression.	Qur'an 2:15 Notes The Qur'an tells us that Allah leads the disbelievers astray. Does he? Allah likes to mock people who are blind, after he made them blind, because they can't see. Nope, no sadism here. See Qur'an 2:7.

Qur'an 2:16 Those are they who have bartered error for guidance; but their trade does not profit them, and they are not guided.	Qur'an 2:16 Notes See Qur'an 2:11.

Qur'an 2:17 Their likeness is that of a person who kindled a fire; when it illuminated all around him, God took away their light, and left them in darkness, unable to see.	Qur'an 2:17 Notes The Qur'an tells us that Allah leads the disbelievers astray. Does he? See Qur'an 2:7.

Qur'an 2:18 Deaf, dumb, blind. They will not return.	Qur'an 2:18 Notes See Qur'an 2:6.

Qur'an 2:19 Or like a cloudburst from the sky, in which is darkness, and thunder, and lightning. They press their fingers into their ears from the thunderbolts, in fear of death. But God surrounds the disbelievers.	Qur'an 2:19 Notes The Qur'an tells us that Allah leads the disbelievers astray. Does he?See Qur'an 2:7.

Qur'an 2:20 The lightning almost snatches their sight away. Whenever it illuminates for them, they walk in it; but when it grows dark over them, they stand still. Had God willed, He could have taken away their hearing and their sight. God is capable of everything.	Qur'an 2:20 Notes See Qur'an 2:19.

Qur'an 2:21 O people! Worship your Lord who created you and those before you, that you may attain piety.	Qur'an 2:21 Notes Interpreting this to identify Allah as the author of said evil is not a stretch.

Qur'an 2:22 He who made the earth a habitat for you, and the sky a structure, and sends water down from the sky, and brings out fruits thereby, as a sustenance for you. Therefore, do not assign rivals to God while you know.	Qur'an 2:22 Notes The second sentence here is a pretty clear crib of the First Commandment.

Qur'an 2:23 And if you are in doubt about what We have revealed to Our servant, then produce a chapter like these, and call your witnesses apart from God, if you are truthful.

Qur'an 2:23 Notes Notes for Qur'an 2:23-24: That's another one for the list! While the Bible makes only vague references to the lake of fire, leaving much interpretation - the Quran mentions the Fire on every other page and describes the torments of Hell in great detail later on. Our? We? The very word Allah (a contraction of al-ilah, the god) implies his singularity. Plural pronouns here strongly imply otherwise. A few examples of religions founded since the writing of the Qur'an which do produce "surahs of the like thereof" (as mentioned in 2:23) are the Baha'i faith, Mormonism, Discordianism and Raëlism.

Qur'an 2:24 But if you do not—and you will not—then beware the Fire whose fuel is people and stones, prepared for the disbelievers.	Qur'an 2:24 Notes See Qur'an 2:23.

Qur'an 2:25 And give good news to those who believe and do righteous deeds; that they will have gardens beneath which rivers flow. Whenever they are provided with fruit therefrom as sustenance, they will say, “This is what we were provided with before,” and they will be given the like of it. And they will have pure spouses therein, and they will abide therein forever.	Qur'an 2:25 Notes Food dangled at the end of a stick is a great way to get people to listen to you and obey.

Qur'an 2:26 God does not shy away from making an example of a gnat, or something above it. As for those who believe, they know that it is the Truth from their Lord. But as for those who disbelieve, they say, “What did God intend by this example?” He leads astray many thereby, and He guides many thereby; but He misleads thereby only the evildoers.	Qur'an 2:26 Notes Those who misleadeth the faithful are troublesome misleading trouble-makers.

Qur'an 2:27 Those who violate God’s covenant after its confirmation, and sever what God has commanded to be joined, and commit evil on earth. These are the losers.	Qur'an 2:27 Notes Like...total losers! Seriously.

Qur'an 2:28 How can you deny God, when you were dead and He gave you life, then He will put you to death, then He will bring you to life, then to Him you will be returned?	Qur'an 2:28 Notes Atheists (or anyone's else who doesn't believe in an afterlife) believe being dead is just like before you were born. The Quran clearly feels the same way.

Qur'an 2:29 It is He who created for you everything on earth, then turned to the heaven, and made them seven heavens. And He is aware of all things.	Qur'an 2:29 Notes There are seven heavens. Only Allah really knows what those seven heavens are all about.

Qur'an 2:30 When your Lord said to the angels, “I am placing a successor on earth.” They said, “Will You place in it someone who will cause corruption in it and shed blood, while we declare Your praises and sanctify You?” He said, “I know what you do not know.”	Qur'an 2:30 Notes It's not entirely clear if the Angels were rooting for the good guy or the blood thirsty guy. One could make a pretty good guess who Allah would go for.

Qur'an 2:31 And He taught Adam the names, all of them; then he presented them to the angels, and said, “Tell Me the names of these, if you are sincere.”

Qur'an 2:31 Notes Interesting fact, Mohammed is spelled and or pronounced differently in Arabic depending on the country, the dialect of Arabic spoken and simple custom. Perhaps some people just want their child to be different or weird. If everyone you know is naming their kid Mohammed and still want your kid to share his nammed with the prophet (blessed be his name) then why not try: Mahomet, Mahometus, Mihammad, Mohammad, Mohammed, Muhammad, Muhammed. You can also try variations used in other languages like:Magomed, Magomet, Mukhamed, Mehmed, Muhemmet. Mahmou is popular in West Africa. There is simply no limit to how Muhammed can be rendered and if you want to be daring, just go by the name "Mo" which is recognizable in every culture except in Cantonese where it means useless or without substance which is interesting when you think about Mohammed as a prophet.

Qur'an 2:32 They said, “Glory be to You! We have no knowledge except what You have taught us. It is you who are the Knowledgeable, the Wise.”	Qur'an 2:32 Notes Allah knows a lot of stuff

Qur'an 2:33 He said, “O Adam, tell them their names.” And when he told them their names, He said, “Did I not tell you that I know the secrets of the heavens and the earth, and that I know what you reveal and what you conceal?”	Qur'an 2:33 Notes Allah knows not just your own thoughts and desires and actions but has a highly intrusive 24 hour surveilance that penetrates your very being, something the NSA would love to be able to do..

Qur'an 2:34 And We said to the angels, “Bow down to Adam.” They bowed down, except for Satan. He refused, was arrogant, and was one of the disbelievers.	Qur'an 2:34 Notes Iblis is the Arabic name for Satan, Clearly, they have revealed a great plot twist in this story by having an angel disbelieve.

Qur'an 2:35 We said, “O Adam, inhabit the Garden, you and your spouse, and eat from it freely as you please, but do not approach this tree, lest you become wrongdoers.”	Qur'an 2:35 Notes ...apparently not. Nope, that previous plot twist was not as big as you'd think and was just an irrelevant detail.

Qur'an 2:36 But Satan caused them to slip from it, and caused them to depart the state they were in. We said, “Go down, some of you enemies of one another. And you will have residence on earth, and enjoyment for a while.”	Qur'an 2:36 Notes That rascal Satan is one delightful character who can certainly introduce interest in an otherwise mind-numbingly boring book.

Qur'an 2:37 Then Adam received words from his Lord, so He relented towards him. He is the Relenting, the Merciful.	Qur'an 2:37 Notes Again, the Qur'an tells us that Allah is merciful. Is he?

Qur'an 2:38 We said, “Go down from it, all of you. Yet whenever guidance comes to you from Me, then whoever follows My guidance—they have nothing to fear, nor shall they grieve.	Qur'an 2:38 Notes If you do what Allah tells you then you'll have nothing to worry about because Allah is never ever known to change his mind or go off on nuclear hissy fits or bouts of murderous anger. Allah is kind.

Qur'an 2:39 But as for those who disbelieve and reject Our signs—these are the inmates of the Fire—wherein they will remain forever.”	Qur'an 2:39 Notes A fun drinking game; take a shot every time "the Fire" is mentioned.

Qur'an 2:40 O Children of Israel! Remember My blessings which I bestowed upon you, and fulfill your pledge to Me, and I will fulfill My pledge to you, and fear Me.	Qur'an 2:40 Notes Remember that Allah chose you to be the people to have the greatest honour of being instilled with intense fear.

Qur'an 2:41 And believe in what I revealed, confirming what is with you; and do not be the first to deny it; and do not exchange My revelations for a small price; and be conscious of Me.	Qur'an 2:41 Notes Allah is none too pleased with those who have even a sliver of doubt but is fond of those who follow him in pure obedience.

Qur'an 2:42 And do not mix truth with falsehood, and do not conceal the truth while you know.	Qur'an 2:42 Notes If you make up very long conversations with a sky god in your head and tell them to people...that is not very honest.

Qur'an 2:43 And attend to your prayers, and practice regular charity, and kneel with those who kneel.	Qur'an 2:43 Notes A rare and beautiful verse of kindness, compassion and civility through etiquite.

Qur'an 2:44 Do you command people to virtuous conduct, and forget yourselves, even though you read the Scripture? Do you not understand?	Qur'an 2:44 Notes Allah is flabberghasted that some read the Koran but simply don't get it or don't apply the right rules to themselves. It's almost as if for some, all of the contradictions, absurdities, factual errors, scientificly refutable and incomprehensible lines in the Koran just might impede someone's clear understanding of the book.

Qur'an 2:45 And seek help through patience and prayer. But it is difficult, except for the devout.	Qur'an 2:45 Notes Allah has made a whole lot of natural ordinary behaviour a sin, and furthermore has given people overwealming urges which are very difficult to control. The solution is, pray. Pray will help....according to Allah. Submit to allah and watch all of those animalistic urges just dissappear into the air like smoke.

Qur'an 2:46 Those who know that they will meet their Lord, and that to Him they will return.	Qur'an 2:46 Notes You should follow the rules of the Koran not necesarily because they are morally right, morally justifiable or morally sound...but because you will be rewarded for it...and cause Allah says so.

Qur'an 2:47 O Children of Israel! Remember My favor which I bestowed upon you, and that I favored you over all nations.	Qur'an 2:47 Notes Considering all the wonderful favourable treatment Allah has bestowed on the Israelites, the Western world should condier itself very lucky that they aren't the "chosen people".

Qur'an 2:48 And beware of a Day when no soul will avail another in the least, nor will any intercession be accepted on its behalf, nor will any ransom be taken from it, nor will they be helped.	Qur'an 2:48 Notes Souls aren't bargaining chips nor can souls be transfered nor refunded nor be of value after it expires.

Qur'an 2:49 And recall that We delivered you from the people of Pharaoh. They inflicted on you terrible persecution, killing your sons and sparing your women. Therein was a tremendous trial from your Lord.	Qur'an 2:49 Notes Allah did nothing while he let the Pharoe do unspeakable things to his "favourite darlings" but still expects a super duper thankyou for finally putting a stop to it, hundreds of murdered human beings later.

Qur'an 2:50 And recall that We parted the sea for you, so We saved you, and We drowned the people of Pharaoh as you looked on.	Qur'an 2:50 Notes After parting the sea, Moses must have seemed like the coolest kick-ass dude on the planet, and that's not even talking about his enormous hipster beard he had going.

Qur'an 2:51 And recall that We appointed for Moses forty nights. Then you took to worshiping the calf after him, and you turned wicked.	Qur'an 2:51 Notes Allah maybe didn't pick the right folks as a chosen people as they can't even seem to wait an hour before inventing and worshipping some bovine god.

Qur'an 2:52 Then We pardoned you after that, so that you might be grateful.	Qur'an 2:52 Notes Allah is surprisingly forgiving here considering Allah hates worships of other Gods more than anything else.

Qur'an 2:53 And recall that We gave Moses the Scripture and the Criterion, so that you may be guided.	Qur'an 2:53 Notes Of course, that scripture was written in Hebrew and described a notably different God, but this is scripture 2.0 and that hebrew stuff was a sort of creative writing exercise.

Qur'an 2:54 And recall that Moses said to his people, “O my people, you have done wrong to yourselves by worshiping the calf. So repent to your Maker, and kill your egos. That would be better for you with your Maker.” So He turned to you in repentance. He is the Accepter of Repentance, the Merciful.	Qur'an 2:54 Notes That's another one for the list!Again, the Qur'an tells us that Allah is merciful. Is he?

Qur'an 2:55 And recall that you said, “O Moses, we will not believe in you unless we see God plainly.” Thereupon the thunderbolt struck you, as you looked on.	Qur'an 2:55 Notes Can you imagine the nerve of these puny human beings actually asking a God to show himself? It's incredible they weren't smited for this.

Qur'an 2:56 Then We revived you after your death, so that you may be appreciative.	Qur'an 2:56 Notes Near extinction number one for Allahs lucky chosen people was avoided and naturally they thanked Allah for surviving by the skin of their teeth. It was a warm up for the dozen other times to come when Allah nearly let his chosen people be wiped out again and again from a city, country or continent. You can't exactly let your favoured chosen people completely dissappear, can you?

Qur'an 2:57 And We shaded you with clouds, and We sent down to you manna and quails: “Eat of the good things We have provided for you.” They did not wrong Us, but they used to wrong their own souls.	Qur'an 2:57 Notes Quail is a delightful meal though it's best to order it deboned and stuffed with beef or pork stuffing, as some people really don't like picking off the small morsels of meat from a graphic bird skeleton on their plate.

Qur'an 2:58 And recall that We said, “Enter this town, and eat plentifully from it whatever you wish; but enter the gate humbly, and say, 'Pardon.' We will forgive your sins, and give increase to the virtuous.”	Qur'an 2:58 Notes The chosen people can finally rest a while and prepare themselves for their next adventure.

Qur'an 2:59 But the wrongdoers among them substituted words other than those given to them, so We sent down on the wrongdoers a plague from heaven, because of their wicked behavior.	Qur'an 2:59 Notes Example number 872 of the wrath and fury of the merciful and compasionate Allah

Qur'an 2:60 And recall when Moses prayed for water for his people. We said, “Strike the rock with your staff.” Thereupon twelve springs gushed out from it, and each tribe recognized its drinking-place. “Eat and drink from God’s provision, and do not corrupt the earth with disobedience.”	Qur'an 2:60 Notes Allah's parlour tricks in this story seemed to deal mostly with water which is a nice contrast with all that much more common talk of screetching burning fire.

Qur'an 2:61 And recall when you said, “O Moses, we cannot endure one kind of food, so call to your Lord to produce for us of what the earth grows: of its herbs, and its cucumbers, and its garlic, and its lentils, and its onions.” He said, “Would you substitute worse for better? Go down to Egypt, where you will have what you asked for.” They were struck with humiliation and poverty, and incurred wrath from God. That was because they rejected God’s revelations and wrongfully killed the prophets. That was because they disobeyed and transgressed.

Qur'an 2:61 Notes The furious wrath of the compassionate merciful Allah

Qur'an 2:62 Those who believe, and those who are Jewish, and the Christians, and the Sabeans—any who believe in God and the Last Day, and act righteously—will have their reward with their Lord; they have nothing to fear, nor will they grieve.	Qur'an 2:62 Notes A rare verse where simply believing in Allah (though whether this is THE Allah of the Koran is not sure) is enough to keep you safe from the furious rage of the compassionate Allah.

Qur'an 2:63 And recall when We received a pledge from you, and raised the Mount above you: “Take what We have given you earnestly, and remember what is in it, that you may attain righteousness.”	Qur'an 2:63 Notes Trinkets and precious stones and holy sticks ward off evil.

Qur'an 2:64 But after that you turned away. Were it not for God’s grace and mercy towards you, you would have been among the losers.	Qur'an 2:64 Notes If the chosen people weren't officially insane by this point then at the very least we can say they suffered from severe mass hysteria and mania as they seem hellbent on making Allah as wrathful and rage-prone as possible.

Qur'an 2:65 And you surely knew those of you who violated the Sabbath. We said to them, “Be despicable apes!”	Qur'an 2:65 Notes That's another one for the list! If Allah turns you into a black animal, that's not considered a favour.

Qur'an 2:66 Thus We made it a deterrent for their generation, and for subsequent generations, and a lesson for the righteous.	Qur'an 2:66 Notes Allah-fear, contrary to the modern notion that people can hero-worship and totally respect someone in a way that is entirely void of fear and terror.

Qur'an 2:67 And recall when Moses said to his people, “God commands you to sacrifice a heifer.” They said, “Do you make a mockery of us?” He said, “God forbid that I should be so ignorant.”	Qur'an 2:67 Notes Perhaps they thought the cow might better feed a few thousand malnourished people rather than please an abusive sky-God

Qur'an 2:68 They said, “Call upon your Lord to show us which one.” He said, “He says she is a heifer, neither too old, nor too young, but in between. So do what you are commanded.”	Qur'an 2:68 Notes There is a grey area when it comes to just which kind of cow should be offered to a hungry Sky-god

Qur'an 2:69 They said, “Call upon your Lord to show us what her color is.” He said, “He says she is a yellow heifer, bright in color, pleasing to the beholders.”	Qur'an 2:69 Notes Make it the kind of amazing brilliant sun-yellow like cow that could make a man fall in low with it.

Qur'an 2:70 They said, “Call upon your Lord to show us which one; the heifers look alike to us; and God willing, we will be guided.”	Qur'an 2:70 Notes Lacking very clear rules and guides and having to use subjective intuitive choice, the people very wisely ask for absolute conrete criteria.

Qur'an 2:71 He said, “He says she is a heifer, neither yoked to plow the earth, nor to irrigate the field; sound without blemish.” They said, “Now you have brought the truth.” So they slew her; though they almost did not.	Qur'an 2:71 Notes The people, tired of Moses's cryptic orders sacraficed a cow though without surprise hesitated.

Qur'an 2:72 And recall when you killed a person, and disputed in the matter; but God was to expose what you were hiding.	Qur'an 2:72 Notes Geeze, take it easy here. There are only so many things I can remember!

Qur'an 2:73 We said, “Strike him with part of it.” Thus God brings the dead to life; and He shows you His signs, that you may understand.	Qur'an 2:73 Notes More vicious violence

Qur'an 2:74 Then after that your hearts hardened. They were as rocks, or even harder. For there are some rocks from which rivers gush out, and others that splinter and water comes out from them, and others that sink in awe of God. God is not unaware of what you do.	Qur'an 2:74 Notes Allahs rock-water parlor trick described in its various magical forms.

Qur'an 2:75 Do you hope that they will believe in you, when some of them used to hear the Word of God, and then deliberately distort it, even after understanding it?	Qur'an 2:75 Notes Yikes, someone tried to edit Allah's enormous thousand page rant.

Qur'an 2:76 And when they come across those who believe, they say, “We believe,” but when they come together privately, they say, “Will you inform them of what God has disclosed to you, so that they might dispute with you concerning it before your Lord?” Do you not understand?

Qur'an 2:76 Notes A typical phenomenon where people, whether it is true or not, claim they believe what everyone else says they believe (for many reasons) and then when away from the masses and the mobs, admit that they don't. Apparently Allah knows this whether said out loud or said in one's mind which Allah knows because Allah spies on everyone including in the conscious and subconscious parts of the complex human mind.

Qur'an 2:77 Do they not know that God knows what they conceal and what they reveal?	Qur'an 2:77 Notes Are the aware? Well...huh...are they? ARE THEY???????

Qur'an 2:78 And among them are uneducated who know the Scripture only through hearsay, and they only speculate.	Qur'an 2:78 Notes Illiterate people who cannot read the Koran are dubious...except for the illiterate Muhammed who could not read and who certainly never knew the Koran (at least in its final published version years after his death).

Qur'an 2:79 So woe to those who write the Scripture with their own hands, and then say, “This is from God,” that they may exchange it for a little price. Woe to them for what their hands have written, and woe to them for what they earn.	Qur'an 2:79 Notes That's another one for the list! Don't start a false religion for personal gain like L Ron Hubbard did. That's bad, m'kay.

Qur'an 2:80 And they say, “The Fire will not touch us except for a number of days.” Say, “Have you received a promise from God—God never breaks His promise—or are you saying about God what you do not know?”	Qur'an 2:80 Notes Some think that Allah will only blow torch their bubbling skin for a few days, but the enlightened wise and thoughtful men know that the flame throwers are just a prelude to the truly torturous lava bath.

Qur'an 2:81 Indeed, whoever commits misdeeds, and becomes besieged by his iniquities—these are the inmates of the Fire, wherein they will dwell forever.	Qur'an 2:81 Notes An eternity of screaming misery is a proportionate response to those who eat pork or forget to pray.

Qur'an 2:82 As for those who believe and do righteous deeds—these are the inhabitants of Paradise, wherein they will dwell forever.	Qur'an 2:82 Notes Christians have it easy here. All they have to do is believe Romans 10:3 to enter heaven. A Muslim has to not only believe, but do "good works" like those here Qur'an 2:191, here Qur'an 9:5, and here Qur'an 38:44.

Qur'an 2:83 We made a covenant with the Children of Israel: “Worship none but God; and be good to parents, and relatives, and orphans, and the needy; and speak nicely to people; and pray regularly, and give alms.” Then you turned away, except for a few of you, recanting.	Qur'an 2:83 Notes Allah doesn't just want to be the king of the God-castle, he wants all those other Gods to be totally forgotten about and wiped out of people's memories (footprints, artifacts and all). It appears some were incapable of forgetting a lifetime of ambiguous faith. Allah didn't like that at all. And yeah, that's where that comes from. Blowing up Palmyra and Buddhas and all.

Qur'an 2:84 And We made a covenant with you: “You shall not shed the blood of your own, nor shall you evict your own from your homes.” You agreed, and were all witnesses.	Qur'an 2:84 Notes Alright, so don't murder or harm your own people. But it's Us vs Them still...

Qur'an 2:85 But here you are, killing your own, and expelling a group of your own from their homes—conspiring against them in wrongdoing and hostility. And if they come to you as captives, you ransom them, although it was forbidden to you. Is it that you believe in part of the Scripture, and disbelieve in part? What is the reward for those among you who do that but humiliation in this life? And on the Day of Resurrection, they will be assigned to the most severe torment. God is not unaware of what you do.

Qur'an 2:85 Notes Again, don't betray your tribe/family/clan/etc. Because Allah will smite you eventually otherwise.

Qur'an 2:86 Those are they who bought the present life for the Hereafter, so the punishment will not be lightened for them, nor will they be helped.	Qur'an 2:86 Notes Don't think that after one million years of burning fire, will Allah feel the slightest pity for you and cool down the fire a little. Allah may even set it burning even hotter. You did after all not pick the right religion!

Qur'an 2:87 We gave Moses the Scripture, and sent a succession of messengers after him. And We gave Jesus son of Mary the clear proofs, and We supported him with the Holy Spirit. Is it that whenever a messenger comes to you with anything your souls do not desire, you grew arrogant, calling some impostors, and killing others?	Qur'an 2:87 Notes So are we to take all people who claim to speak for god seriously?

Qur'an 2:88 And they said, “Our hearts are sealed.” Rather, God has cursed them for their ingratitude. They have little faith.	Qur'an 2:88 Notes They didn't believe a man who was in a cave and claimed a being in the sky talked to him. Now that is ingratitude.

Qur'an 2:89 And when a scripture came to them from God, confirming what they have—although previously they were seeking victory against those who disbelieved—but when there came to them what they recognized, they disbelieved in it. So God’s curse is upon the disbelievers.	Qur'an 2:89 Notes After reading the long rambling text of the prophets dialogue in a cave with a being in the sky, they still weren't convinced. Curse such folk.

Qur'an 2:90 Miserable is what they sold their souls for—rejecting what God has revealed, out of resentment that God would send down His grace upon whomever He chooses from among His servants. Thus they incurred wrath upon wrath. And there is a demeaning punishment for the disbelievers.	Qur'an 2:90 Notes That hot lava is really going to hurt.

Qur'an 2:91 And when it is said to them, “Believe in what God has revealed,” they say, “We believe in what was revealed to us,” and they reject anything beyond that, although it is the truth which confirms what they have. Say, “Why did you kill God’s prophets before, if you were believers?”	Qur'an 2:91 Notes Skepticism is simply not allowed when specific people make claims about Allah. Which people? You have to guess that too.

Qur'an 2:92 Moses came to you with clear proofs, yet you adopted the calf in his absence, and you were in the wrong.	Qur'an 2:92 Notes Moses came with some writing on a tablet. That is the incredible standard of proof the holy book expects.

Qur'an 2:93 And We made a covenant with you, and raised the Mount above you: “Take what We have given you firmly, and listen.” They said, “We hear and disobey.” And their hearts became filled with the love of the calf because of their disbelief. Say, “Wretched is what your faith commands you to do, if you are believers.”	Qur'an 2:93 Notes More insults, curses and threats.

Qur'an 2:94 Say, “If the Final Home with God is yours alone, to the exclusion of all other people, then wish for death if you are sincere.”	Qur'an 2:94 Notes Oh no he didn't just say that!

Qur'an 2:95 But they will never wish for it, because of what their hands have forwarded. God is aware of the evildoers.	Qur'an 2:95 Notes God is one enormous spy machine peeping on everyone all the time.

Qur'an 2:96 You will find them, of all mankind, the most eager for life, even more than the polytheists. Every one of them wishes he could live a thousand years; but to be granted a long life will not nudge him from the punishment. God is Seeing of what they do.	Qur'an 2:96 Notes Why make the most of this life time when you can just wait for eternal paradise (or is it eternal lava bath)?

Qur'an 2:97 Say, “Whoever is hostile to Gabriel—it is he who revealed it to your heart by God’s leave, confirming what preceded it, and guidance and good news for the believers.”	Qur'an 2:97 Notes Again in this case you should take this specific person seriously with their specific message when reporting a supposed saying about God.

Qur'an 2:98 Whoever is hostile to God, and His angels, and His messengers, and Gabriel, and Michael—God is hostile to the faithless.	Qur'an 2:98 Notes More of allah's wrath.

Qur'an 2:99 We have revealed to you clear signs, and none rejects them except the sinners.	Qur'an 2:99 Notes Those clear signs being words, words and more words written down by someone in a cave.

Qur'an 2:100 Is it not that whenever they make a covenant, some of them toss it aside? In fact, most of them do not believe.	Qur'an 2:100 Notes Allah is not amused by skepticism.

Qur'an 2:101 And when there came to them a messenger from God, confirming what they had, a faction of those who were given the Book threw the Book of God behind their backs, as if they do not know.	Qur'an 2:101 Notes How could you possibly read this rambling book and not be totally utterly convinced by its entire content? You'd simply have to be a stubborn evil cursed being.

Qur'an 2:102 And they followed what the devils taught during the reign of Solomon. It was not Solomon who disbelieved, but it was the devils who disbelieved. They taught the people witchcraft and what was revealed in Babylon to the two angels Harut and Marut. They did not teach anybody until they had said, “We are a test, so do not lose faith.” But they learned from them the means to cause separation between man and his wife. But they cannot harm anyone except with God's permission. And they learned what would harm them and not benefit them. Yet they knew that whoever deals in it will have no share in the Hereafter. Miserable is what they sold their souls for, if they only knew.

Qur'an 2:102 Notes An attempt to square a circle in the original old testament.

Qur'an 2:103 Had they believed and been righteous, the reward from God would have been better, if they only knew.	Qur'an 2:103 Notes You can bribe people to believe things.

Qur'an 2:104 O you who believe! Do not say ambiguous words, but say words of respect, and listen. The disbelievers will have a painful torment.	Qur'an 2:104 Notes More predictions of pain.

Qur'an 2:105 It is never the wish of the disbelievers from among the People of the Book, nor of the polytheists, that any good should be sent down to you from your Lord. But God chooses for His mercy whomever He wills. God is Possessor of Sublime Grace.	Qur'an 2:105 Notes That grace doesn't include an understanding of the human nature Allah created in man and the power of skepticism met with claims with no evidence. That sublime grace will have you end up in an underground torture chamber.

Qur'an 2:106 We never nullify a verse, nor cause it to be forgotten, unless We bring one better than it, or similar to it. Do you not know that God is capable of all things?	Qur'an 2:106 Notes So everything is right, but some things are more right. Allah is perfect, but didn't get it the most right the first time around. There is no abrogation except when there is abrogation, but it isn't abrogation because Allah has the power to defy logic.

Qur'an 2:107 Do you not know that to God belongs the sovereignty of the heavens and the earth, and that apart from God you have no guardian or helper?	Qur'an 2:107 Notes All of your eggs ought to be in Allah's basket.

Qur'an 2:108 Or do you want to question your Messenger as Moses was questioned before? Whoever exchanges faith for disbelief has strayed from the right path.	Qur'an 2:108 Notes Allah is not amused by skepticism.

Qur'an 2:109 Many of the People of the Book wish to turn you back into unbelievers after you have believed, out of envy on their part, after the Truth has become clear to them. But pardon and overlook, until God brings His command. God has power over all things.	Qur'an 2:109 Notes Those who picked the wrong religion are just stubborn and jealous you picked the right one.

Qur'an 2:110 And perform the prayer, and give alms. Whatever good you forward for yourselves, you will find it with God. God is Seeing of everything you do.	Qur'an 2:110 Notes Allah and his complex spy network.

Qur'an 2:111 And they say, “None will enter Heaven unless he is a Jew or a Christian.” These are their wishes. Say, “Produce your proof, if you are truthful.”	Qur'an 2:111 Notes What kind of proof is necessary. Because you're supposed to take a book written by a man in a cave talking to a being in the sky as proof of Allah's existence. So can I just write a book that says I believed...and Allah will take my word for it as we are supposed to take a prophet's word?

Qur'an 2:112 In fact, whoever submits himself to God, and is a doer of good, will have his reward with his Lord—they have nothing to fear, nor shall they grieve.	Qur'an 2:112 Notes Lucky people.

Qur'an 2:113 The Jews say, “The Christians are not based on anything;” and the Christians say, “The Jews are not based on anything.” Yet they both read the Scripture. Similarly, the ignorant said the same thing. God will judge between them on the Day of Resurrection regarding their differences.	Qur'an 2:113 Notes God 1.0 and God 2.0 are nothing compared with God 3.0 and if you haven't upgraded to God 3.0 by the time you die, then you just might end up in the underground torture chamber.

Qur'an 2:114 Who is more unjust than him who forbids the remembrance of God’s name in places of worship, and contributes to their ruin? These ought not to enter them except in fear. For them is disgrace in this world, and for them is a terrible punishment in the Hereafter.	Qur'an 2:114 Notes More threats of torture.

Qur'an 2:115 To God belong the East and the West. Whichever way you turn, there is God’s presence. God is Omnipresent and Omniscient.	Qur'an 2:115 Notes Which would mean that God is also inside all those who make rational arguments that he doesn't exist. Which is strange.

Qur'an 2:116 And they say, “God has begotten a son.” Be He glorified. Rather, His is everything in the heavens and the earth; all are obedient to Him.	Qur'an 2:116 Notes Eventually Jesus 2.0 will have to be properly qualified.

Qur'an 2:117 Originator of the heavens and the earth. Whenever He decrees a thing, He says to it, “Be,” and it becomes.	Qur'an 2:117 Notes Allah doesn't need a magic wand. He only has to say "be" and voila.

Qur'an 2:118 Those who do not know say, “If only God would speak to us, or a sign would come to us.” Thus said those who were before them. Their hearts are alike. We have made the signs clear for people who are certain.	Qur'an 2:118 Notes Words written down in a book spoken by a guy with voices in his head, are all the evidence you need.

Qur'an 2:119 We have sent you with the truth—bringing good news, and giving warnings. You will not be questioned about the inmates of Hell.	Qur'an 2:119 Notes This stuff is true and if you don't take it as true, then you will pay the price.

Qur'an 2:120 The Jews and the Christians will not approve of you, unless you follow their creed. Say, “God’s guidance is the guidance.” Should you follow their desires, after the knowledge that has come to you, you will have in God neither guardian nor helper.	Qur'an 2:120 Notes Hypocracy is grand

Qur'an 2:121 Those to whom We have given the Scripture follow it, as it ought to be followed—these believe in it. But as for those who reject it—these are the losers.	Qur'an 2:121 Notes More threats

Qur'an 2:122 O Children of Israel! Remember My blessing which I bestowed upon you, and that I have favored you over all people.	Qur'an 2:122 Notes Jews are special

Qur'an 2:123 And beware of a Day when no soul will avail another soul in any way, and no ransom will be accepted from it, and no intercession will benefit it, and they will not be helped.	Qur'an 2:123 Notes The merciful God will send you to the fire, get that into your head!

Qur'an 2:124 And when his Lord tested Abraham with certain words, and he fulfilled them. He said, “I am making you a leader of humanity.” He said, “And my descendants?” He said, “My pledge does not include the wrongdoers.”	Qur'an 2:124 Notes Someone willing to murder their child because of voices in their head are leaders of humanity.

Qur'an 2:125 And We made the House a focal point for the people, and a sanctuary. Use the shrine of Abraham as a place of prayer. And We commissioned Abraham and Ishmael, “Sanctify My House for those who circle around it, and those who seclude themselves in it, and those who kneel and prostrate.”	Qur'an 2:125 Notes the foundation of the Hajj

Qur'an 2:126 When Abraham said, “O My Lord, make this a peaceful land, and provide its people with fruits—whoever of them believes in God and the Last Day.” He said, “And whoever disbelieves, I will give him a little enjoyment, then I will consign him to the punishment of the Fire; how miserable the destiny!”	Qur'an 2:126 Notes More threats.

Qur'an 2:127 As Abraham raises the foundations of the House, together with Ishmael, “Our Lord, accept it from us, You are the Hearer, the Knower.	Qur'an 2:127 Notes God knows everything.

Qur'an 2:128 Our Lord, and make us submissive to You, and from our descendants a community submissive to You. And show us our rites, and accept our repentance. You are the Acceptor of Repentance, the Merciful.	Qur'an 2:128 Notes Again, the Qur'an tells us that Allah is merciful. Is he?

Qur'an 2:129 Our Lord, and raise up among them a messenger, of themselves, who will recite to them Your revelations, and teach them the Book and wisdom, and purify them. You are the Almighty, the Wise.”	Qur'an 2:129 Notes God knows everything

Qur'an 2:130 Who would forsake the religion of Abraham, except he who fools himself? We chose him in this world, and in the Hereafter he will be among the righteous.	Qur'an 2:130 Notes You are stupid if you don't believe this.

Qur'an 2:131 When his Lord said to him, “Submit!” He said, “I have submitted to the Lord of the Worlds.”	Qur'an 2:131 Notes Nothing short of submission is expected

Qur'an 2:132 And Abraham exhorted his sons, and Jacob, “O my sons, God has chosen this religion for you, so do not die unless you have submitted.”	Qur'an 2:132 Notes Nothing short of submission is expected

Qur'an 2:133 Or were you witnesses when death approached Jacob, and he said to his sons, “What will you worship after Me?” They said, “We will worship your God, and the God of your fathers, Abraham, Ishmael, and Isaac; One God; and to Him we submit.”	Qur'an 2:133 Notes Nothing short of submission is expected

Qur'an 2:134 That was a community that has passed; for them is what they have earned, and for you is what you have earned; and you will not be questioned about what they used to do.	Qur'an 2:134 Notes You get credit for what other people did.

Qur'an 2:135 And they say, “Be Jews or Christians, and you will be guided.” Say, “Rather, the religion of Abraham, the Monotheist; he was not an idolater.”	Qur'an 2:135 Notes Some wrong beliefs however aren't as bad as others.

Qur'an 2:136 Say, “We believe in God; and in what was revealed to us; and in what was revealed to Abraham, and Ishmael, and Isaac, and Jacob, and the Patriarchs; and in what was given to Moses and Jesus; and in what was given to the prophets—from their Lord. We make no distinction between any of them, and to Him we surrender.”	Qur'an 2:136 Notes A tactic to entice christians and jews.

Qur'an 2:137 If they believe in the same as you have believed in, then they have been guided. But if they turn away, then they are in schism. God will protect you against them; for He is the Hearer, the Knower.	Qur'an 2:137 Notes God knows everything.

Qur'an 2:138 God’s coloring. And who gives better coloring than God? “And we are devoted to Him.”	Qur'an 2:138 Notes Nothing short of submission is expected

Qur'an 2:139 Say, “Do you argue with us about God, when He is our Lord and your Lord, and We have our works, and you have your works, and we are sincere to Him?”	Qur'an 2:139 Notes How can you simply not believe in what we believe? What's wrong with you?

Qur'an 2:140 Or do you say that Abraham, Ishmael, Isaac, Jacob, and the Patriarchs were Jews or Christians? Say, “Do you know better, or God?” And who does greater wrong than he who conceals a testimony he has from God? God is not unaware of what you do.	Qur'an 2:140 Notes God knows everything

Qur'an 2:141 That was a community that has passed. To them is what they have earned, and to you is what you have earned. And you will not be questioned about what they used to do.	Qur'an 2:141 Notes Some wrong religions aren't as wrong as others

Qur'an 2:142 The ignorant among the people will say, “What has turned them away from the direction of prayer they once followed?” Say, “To God belong the East and the West. He guides whom He wills to a straight path.”	Qur'an 2:142 Notes Those who don't agree with us are stupid

Qur'an 2:143 Thus We made you a moderate community, that you may be witnesses to humanity, and that the Messenger may be a witness to you. We only established the direction of prayer, which you once followed, that We may distinguish those who follow the Messenger from those who turn on their heels. It is indeed difficult, except for those whom God has guided. But God would never let your faith go to waste. God is Kind towards the people, Merciful.

Qur'an 2:143 Notes Again, the Qur'an tells us that Allah is merciful. Is he?

Qur'an 2:144 We have seen your face turned towards the heaven. So We will turn you towards a direction that will satisfy you. So turn your face towards the Sacred Mosque. And wherever you may be, turn your faces towards it. Those who were given the Book know that it is the Truth from their Lord; and God is not unaware of what they do.	Qur'an 2:144 Notes God knows everything

Qur'an 2:145 Even if you were to bring to those who were given the Book every proof, they would not follow your direction, nor are you to follow their direction, nor do they follow the direction of one another. And if you were to follow their desires, after the knowledge that has come to you, you would be in that case one of the wrongdoers.	Qur'an 2:145 Notes People should accept this text as all the evidence they need.

Qur'an 2:146 Those to whom We have given the Book recognize it as they recognize their own children. But some of them conceal the truth while they know.	Qur'an 2:146 Notes People only pretend not to believe this stuff

Qur'an 2:147 The truth is from your Lord, so do not be a skeptic.	Qur'an 2:147 Notes Why can't you just believe this stuff already?

Qur'an 2:148 To every community is a direction towards which it turns. Therefore, race towards goodness. Wherever you may be, God will bring you all together. God is capable of everything.	Qur'an 2:148 Notes What we say here is good...is what is good.

Qur'an 2:149 And wherever you come from, turn your face towards the Sacred Mosque. This is the truth from your Lord, and God is not heedless of what you do.	Qur'an 2:149 Notes God knows everything.

Qur'an 2:150 And wherever you come from, turn your face towards the Sacred Mosque. And wherever you may be, turn your faces towards it. So that the people may not have any argument against you—except those who do wrong among them. So do not fear them, but fear Me, that I may complete My blessings upon you, and that you may be guided.	Qur'an 2:150 Notes People who don't agree with us are bad.

Qur'an 2:151 Just as We sent to you a messenger from among you, who recites Our revelations to you, and purifies you, and teaches you the Book and wisdom, and teaches you what you did not know.	Qur'an 2:151 Notes You should be greatful for the wisdom given in this book

Qur'an 2:152 So remember Me, and I will remember you. And thank Me, and do not be ungrateful.	Qur'an 2:152 Notes Thank the invisible being in the sky for compelling a man in a cave to memorize this stuff and have it written down later.

Qur'an 2:153 O you who believe! Seek help through patience and prayers. God is with the steadfast.	Qur'an 2:153 Notes When I window shop for a new religion...steadfastiness is always my priority.

Qur'an 2:154 And do not say of those who are killed in the cause of God, “Dead.” Rather, they are alive, but you do not perceive.	Qur'an 2:154 Notes Zombie time.

Qur'an 2:155 We will certainly test you with some fear and hunger, and some loss of possessions and lives and crops. But give good news to the steadfast.	Qur'an 2:155 Notes Cruel and traumatic stress tests bring us gladness.

Qur'an 2:156 Those who, when a calamity afflicts them, say, “To God we belong, and to Him we will return.”	Qur'an 2:156 Notes The correct amount of "lo"s in this sentence are not one, not three, but two! Lo. Lo.

Qur'an 2:157 Upon these are blessings and mercy from their Lord. These are the guided ones.	Qur'an 2:157 Notes The rightly guided do exist. Where or who is this guide who guides them?

Qur'an 2:158 Safa and Marwa are among the rites of God. Whoever makes the Pilgrimage to the House, or performs the Umrah, commits no error by circulating between them. Whoever volunteers good—God is Appreciative and Cognizant.	Qur'an 2:158 Notes Allah's hightened sense of awareness will pardon you if you accidently insult someone while carrying out a pagan rite that no one does anymore or even remembers.

Qur'an 2:159 Those who suppress the proofs and the guidance We have revealed, after We have clarified them to humanity in the Scripture—those—God curses them, and the cursers curse them.	Qur'an 2:159 Notes Don't take an exacto knife and cut out a paragraph of the koran and hide it under your pillow, Allah knows you did it and cursed as such you shall be.

Qur'an 2:160 Except those who repent, and reform, and proclaim. Those—I will accept their repentance. I am the Acceptor of Repentance, the Merciful.	Qur'an 2:160 Notes Again, the Qur'an tells us that Allah is merciful. Is he?

Qur'an 2:161 But as for those who reject faith, and die rejecting—those—upon them is the curse of God, and of the angels, and of all humanity.	Qur'an 2:161 Notes An all powerful, all good and all outstanding God can pull hissyfits of anger. Such emotional meltdowns explode when people doubt his existence, because Allah is also fragile and insecure and lo the day you are on the recieving end of the all perfect and all merciful God's tempertantrums.

Qur'an 2:162 They will remain under it forever, and the torment will not be lightened for them, and they will not be reprieved.	Qur'an 2:162 Notes Compasionate Allah won't never ever never give his tortured victims a break...while they burn in blood curdling agony. Allah is merciful.

Qur'an 2:163 Your God is one God. There is no god but He, the Benevolent, the Compassionate.	Qur'an 2:163 Notes Again, the Qur'an tells us that Allah is merciful. Is he?

Qur'an 2:164 In the creation of the heavens and the earth; in the alternation of night and day; in the ships that sail the oceans for the benefit of mankind; in the water that God sends down from the sky, and revives the earth with it after it had died, and scatters in it all kinds of creatures; in the changing of the winds, and the clouds disposed between the sky and the earth; are signs for people who understand.

Qur'an 2:164 Notes Only those with special Allah knowledge can understand how cloud formations signal doom

Qur'an 2:165 Yet among the people are those who take other than God as equals to Him. They love them as the love of God. But those who believe have greater love for God. If only the wrongdoers would realize, when they see the torment; that all power is God’s, and that God is severe in punishment.	Qur'an 2:165 Notes In the same line you can talk about unquestioning love and severe punishment for having a different view of things (that Allah is the one and only God). This sums up one of the most important messages in the Quran. If you don't believe you are a fool and you will burn forever in the loving God's underground torture chamber.

Qur'an 2:166 Those who were followed will then disown those who followed them, and they will see the retribution, and ties between them will be severed.	Qur'an 2:166 Notes People can have a great time in heaven even with the knowledge that the people they loved are burning in agony forever.

Qur'an 2:167 Those who followed will say, “If only we can have another chance, we will disown them, as they disowned us.” Thus God will show them their deeds, as regrets to them, and they will not come out of the Fire.	Qur'an 2:167 Notes While Allah frequently changes his mind on things, his creations cannot. Forgiveness is not a quality Allah partakes in.

Qur'an 2:168 O people! Eat of what is lawful and good on earth, and do not follow the footsteps of Satan. He is to you an open enemy.	Qur'an 2:168 Notes What ever this book says is lawful and good...is lawful and good

Qur'an 2:169 He commands you to do evil and vice, and to say about God what you do not know.	Qur'an 2:169 Notes More devil boogeyman lines.

Qur'an 2:170 And when it is said to them, “Follow what God has revealed,” they say, “We will follow what we found our ancestors following.” Even if their ancestors understood nothing, and were not guided?	Qur'an 2:170 Notes People with other belief systems are stupid and wandering aimlessly

Qur'an 2:171 The parable of those who disbelieve is that of someone who calls upon someone who hears nothing except screaming and yelling. Deaf, dumb, and blind—they do not understand.	Qur'an 2:171 Notes People who expect evidence and rational arguments are deaf, dumb and blind.

Qur'an 2:172 O you who believe! Eat of the good things We have provided for you, and give thanks to God, if it is Him that you serve.	Qur'an 2:172 Notes Here you go, believe and we will give you all sorts of goodies and incentives.

Qur'an 2:173 He has forbidden you carrion, and blood, and the flesh of swine, and what was dedicated to other than God. But if anyone is compelled, without desiring or exceeding, he commits no sin. God is Forgiving and Merciful.	Qur'an 2:173 Notes That's another one for the list! Don't eat decaying animals, blood, pigs, or animals sacrificed to those fake non-Allah gods.

Qur'an 2:174 Those who conceal what God revealed in the Book, and exchange it for a small price—those swallow nothing but fire into their bellies. And God will not speak to them on the Day of Resurrection, nor will He purify them, and they will have a painful punishment.	Qur'an 2:174 Notes This book loves taking pleasure in the painful torture of others.

Qur'an 2:175 It is they who exchange guidance for error, and forgiveness for punishment. But why do they insist on the Fire?	Qur'an 2:175 Notes The fire is something so obvious that people shouldn't need evidence to take it seriously. It's like the want to burn.

Qur'an 2:176 That is because God has revealed the Book in truth; and those who differ about the Book are in deep discord.	Qur'an 2:176 Notes Those who don't agree with this book written by a guy who heard voices in his head in a cave, are in deep discord.

Qur'an 2:177 Righteousness does not consist of turning your faces towards the East and the West. But righteous is he who believes in God, and the Last Day, and the angels, and the Scripture, and the prophets. Who gives money, though dear, to near relatives, and orphans, and the needy, and the homeless, and the beggars, and for the freeing of slaves; those who perform the prayers, and pay the obligatory charity, and fulfill their promise when they promise, and patiently persevere in the face of persecution, hardship, and in the time of conflict. These are the sincere; these are the pious.

Qur'an 2:177 Notes Good people are those who give the charitable donations that they are obligated to.

Qur'an 2:178 O you who believe! Retaliation for the murdered is ordained upon you: the free for the free, the slave for the slave, the female for the female. But if he is forgiven by his kin, then grant any reasonable demand, and pay with good will. This is a concession from your Lord, and a mercy. But whoever commits aggression after that, a painful torment awaits him.	Qur'an 2:178 Notes Allah doesn't forgive, but sometimes you should

Qur'an 2:179 There is life for you in retaliation, O people of understanding, so that you may refrain.	Qur'an 2:179 Notes Retaliation is beautiful

Qur'an 2:180 It is decreed for you: when death approaches one of you, and he leaves wealth, to make a testament in favor of the parents and the relatives, fairly and correctly—a duty upon the righteous.	Qur'an 2:180 Notes A noble sentiment, found in this book from time to time.

Qur'an 2:181 But whoever changes it after he has heard it, the guilt is upon those who change it. God is All-Hearing, All-Knowing.	Qur'an 2:181 Notes God knows everything.

Qur'an 2:182 Should someone suspect bias or injustice on the part of a testator, and then reconciles between them, he commits no sin. God is Forgiving and Merciful.	Qur'an 2:182 Notes Again, the Qur'an tells us that Allah is merciful. Is he?

Qur'an 2:183 O you who believe! Fasting is prescribed for you, as it was prescribed for those before you, that you may become righteous.	Qur'an 2:183 Notes Another reminder of Ramadan

Qur'an 2:184 For a specified number of days. But whoever among you is sick, or on a journey, then a number of other days. For those who are able: a ransom of feeding a needy person. But whoever volunteers goodness, it is better for him. But to fast is best for you, if you only knew.	Qur'an 2:184 Notes Sympathy to some people who need not fast because a book tells them to.

Qur'an 2:185 Ramadan is the month in which the Quran was revealed. Guidance for humanity, and clear portents of guidance, and the Criterion. Whoever of you witnesses the month, shall fast it. But whoever is sick, or on a journey, then a number of other days. God desires ease for you, and does not desire hardship for you, that you may complete the number, and celebrate God for having guided you, so that you may be thankful.

Qur'an 2:185 Notes This book is truth and you should celebrate that once a year by not eating.

Qur'an 2:186 And when My servants ask you about Me, I Am near; I answer the call of the caller when he calls on Me. So let them answer Me, and have faith in Me, that they may be rightly guided.	Qur'an 2:186 Notes You're smart if you believe

Qur'an 2:187 Permitted for you is intercourse with your wives on the night of the fast. They are a garment for you, and you are a garment for them. God knows that you used to betray yourselves, but He turned to you and pardoned you. So approach them now, and seek what God has ordained for you, and eat and drink until the white streak of dawn can be distinguished from the black streak. Then complete the fast until nightfall. But do not approach them while you are in retreat at the mosques. These are the limits of God, so do not come near them. God thus clarifies His revelations to the people, that they may attain piety.

Qur'an 2:187 Notes Of course it would be asking too much of men to not have sex during this time. What kind of religion could succeed if you demanded a month of abstinance?

Qur'an 2:188 And do not consume one another’s wealth by unjust means, nor offer it as bribes to the officials in order to consume part of other people’s wealth illicitly, while you know.	Qur'an 2:188 Notes Stealing is bad

Qur'an 2:189 They ask you about the crescents. Say, “They are timetables for people, and for the Hajj.” It is not virtuous that you approach homes from their backs, but virtue is to be pious. So approach homes from their doors, and observe God, that you may succeed.	Qur'an 2:189 Notes God created the moon as a calendar

Qur'an 2:190 And fight in the cause of God those who fight you, but do not commit aggression; God does not love the aggressors.	Qur'an 2:190 Notes God wants you to spread the word through the sword, but not through agression. Hmm

Qur'an 2:191 And kill them wherever you overtake them, and expel them from where they had expelled you. Oppression is more serious than murder. But do not fight them at the Sacred Mosque, unless they fight you there. If they fight you, then kill them. Such is the retribution of the disbelievers.	Qur'an 2:191 Notes Kill, just not through agression

Qur'an 2:192 But if they cease, then God is Forgiving and Merciful.	Qur'an 2:192 Notes Again, the Qur'an tells us that Allah is merciful. Is he?

Qur'an 2:193 And fight them until there is no oppression, and worship becomes devoted to God alone. But if they cease, then let there be no hostility except against the oppressors.	Qur'an 2:193 Notes Fight them, but without agression.

Qur'an 2:194 The sacred month for the sacred month; and sacrilege calls for retaliation. Whoever commits aggression against you, retaliate against him in the same measure as he has committed against you. And be conscious of God, and know that God is with the righteous.	Qur'an 2:194 Notes Eye for an eye

Qur'an 2:195 And spend in the cause of God, and do not throw yourselves with your own hands into ruin, and be charitable. God loves the charitable.	Qur'an 2:195 Notes A noble sentiment

Qur'an 2:196 And carry out the Hajj and the Umrah for God. But if you are prevented, then whatever is feasible of offerings. And do not shave your heads until the offering has reached its destination. Whoever of you is sick, or has an injury of the head, then redemption of fasting, or charity, or worship. When you are secure: whoever continues the Umrah until the Hajj, then whatever is feasible of offering. But if he lacks the means, then fasting for three days during the Hajj and seven when you have returned, making ten in all. This is for he whose household is not present at the Sacred Mosque. And remain conscious of God, and know that God is stern in retribution.

Qur'an 2:196 Notes The merciful God is stern in retribution

Qur'an 2:197 The Hajj is during specific months. Whoever decides to perform the Hajj—there shall be no sexual relations, nor misconduct, nor quarrelling during the Hajj. And whatever good you do, God knows it. And take provisions, but the best provision is righteousness. And be mindful of Me, O people of understanding.	Qur'an 2:197 Notes Abstinence during the Hajj. Well, its only for a few days once in your life.

Qur'an 2:198 You commit no error by seeking bounty from your Lord. When you disperse from Arafat, remember God at the Sacred Landmark. And remember Him as He has guided you. Although, before that, you were of those astray.	Qur'an 2:198 Notes It's okay to expect a reward for belief.

Qur'an 2:199 Then disperse from where the people disperse, and ask God for forgiveness. God is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful.	Qur'an 2:199 Notes Again, the Qur'an tells us that Allah is merciful. Is he?

Qur'an 2:200 When you have completed your rites, remember God as you remember your parents, or even more. Among the people is he who says, “Our Lord, give us in this world,” yet he has no share in the Hereafter.	Qur'an 2:200 Notes The invisible being in the sky is more important than your parents.

Qur'an 2:201 And among them is he who says, “Our Lord, give us goodness in this world, and goodness in the Hereafter, and protect us from the torment of the Fire.”	Qur'an 2:201 Notes Bribery to believe, eternal torture if you don't.

Qur'an 2:202 These will have a share of what they have earned. God is swift in reckoning.	Qur'an 2:202 Notes God takes centuries to reveal anything, but will send you down to the underground torture chamber as fast as you can say Mississippi.

Qur'an 2:203 And remember God during the designated days. But whoever hurries on in two days commits no wrong, and whoever stays on commits no wrong—provided he maintains righteousness. And obey God, and know that to Him you will be gathered.	Qur'an 2:203 Notes Extra commitment is good.

Qur'an 2:204 Among the people is he whose speech about the worldly life impresses you, and he calls God to witness what is in his heart, while he is the most hostile of adversaries.	Qur'an 2:204 Notes This book is very hostile to non believers

Qur'an 2:205 When he gains power, he strives to spread corruption on earth, destroying properties and lives. God does not like corruption.	Qur'an 2:205 Notes Muslim leaders don't become corrupt destructive tyrants.

Qur'an 2:206 And when he is told, “Beware of God,” his pride leads him to more sin. Hell is enough for him—a dreadful abode.	Qur'an 2:206 Notes People who don't take empty threats seriously are just proud.

Qur'an 2:207 And among the people is he who sells himself seeking God’s approval. God is kind towards the servants.	Qur'an 2:207 Notes Wait, is this book claiming that those who submit to the threat of the fire...are sell-outs? And that God likes that?

Qur'an 2:208 O you who believe! Enter into submission, wholeheartedly, and do not follow the footsteps of Satan; he is to you an outright enemy.	Qur'an 2:208 Notes More of the boogeyman

Qur'an 2:209 But if you slip after the proofs have come to you, know that God is Powerful and Wise.	Qur'an 2:209 Notes God knows all

Qur'an 2:210 Are they waiting for God Himself to come to them in the shadows of the clouds, together with the angels, and thus the matter is settled? All things are returned to God.	Qur'an 2:210 Notes Do they expect something as petty as proof?

Qur'an 2:211 Ask the Children of Israel how many clear signs We have given them. Whoever alters the blessing of God after it has come to him—God is severe in retribution.	Qur'an 2:211 Notes Clear signs meaning a text written down years after a guy heard voices in his head in a cave. Those signs.

Qur'an 2:212 Beautified is the life of this world for those who disbelieve, and they ridicule those who believe. But the righteous will be above them on the Day of Resurrection. God provides to whomever He wills without measure.	Qur'an 2:212 Notes More bribery to believe

Qur'an 2:213 Humanity used to be one community; then God sent the prophets, bringing good news and giving warnings. And He sent down with them the Scripture, with the truth, to judge between people regarding their differences. But none differed over it except those who were given it—after the proofs had come to them—out of mutual envy between them. Then God guided those who believed to the truth they had disputed, in accordance with His will. God guides whom He wills to a straight path.

Qur'an 2:213 Notes So if I don't do right then it's because God doesn't will me to the straight path?

Qur'an 2:214 Or do you expect to enter Paradise before the example of those who came before you had reached you? Adversity and hardship had afflicted them, and they were so shaken up, that the Messenger and those who believed with him said, “When is God’s victory?” Indeed, God’s victory is near.	Qur'an 2:214 Notes Perhaps there is no paradise or hell...at all?

Qur'an 2:215 They ask you what they should give. Say, “Whatever charity you give is for the parents, and the relatives, and the orphans, and the poor, and the wayfarer. Whatever good you do, God is aware of it.	Qur'an 2:215 Notes God knows all.

Qur'an 2:216 Fighting is ordained for you, even though you dislike it. But it may be that you dislike something while it is good for you, and it may be that you like something while it is bad for you. God knows, and you do not know.	Qur'an 2:216 Notes This religion will spread better through violence. It sucks but you have to do it for the team.

Qur'an 2:217 They ask you about fighting during the Holy Month. Say, “Fighting during it is deplorable; but to bar others from God’s path, and to disbelieve in Him, and to prevent access to the Holy Mosque, and to expel its people from it, are more deplorable with God. And persecution is more serious than killing. They will not cease to fight you until they turn you back from your religion, if they can. Whoever among you turns back from his religion, and dies a disbeliever—those are they whose works will come to nothing, in this life, and in the Hereafter. Those are the inmates of the Fire, abiding in it forever.

Qur'an 2:217 Notes The Cow is utterly ga ga for threatening non-belief with torture. It's almost as if they only way to get people to believe all the wild claims in this book is through threats.

Qur'an 2:218 Those who believed, and those who migrated and fought for the sake of God—those look forward to God’s mercy. God is Forgiving and Merciful.	Qur'an 2:218 Notes Again, the Qur'an tells us that Allah is merciful. Is he?

Qur'an 2:219 They ask you about intoxicants and gambling. Say, “There is gross sin in them, and some benefits for people, but their sinfulness outweighs their benefit.” And they ask you about what they should give: say, “The surplus.” Thus God explains the revelations to you, so that you may think.	Qur'an 2:219 Notes Actually there are theoretical benefits from the consumption of certain alcoholic beverages in moderation.

Qur'an 2:220 About this world and the next. And they ask you about orphans. Say, “Improvement for them is best. And if you intermix with them, then they are your brethren.” God knows the dishonest from the honest. Had God willed, He could have overburdened you. God is Mighty and Wise.	Qur'an 2:220 Notes Mohamed was an orphan. It's just a coincidence that this book mentions being good to orphans a lot.

Qur'an 2:221 Do not marry idolatresses, unless they have believed. A believing maid is better than an idolatress, even if you like her. And do not marry idolaters, unless they have believed. A believing servant is better than an idolater, even if you like him. These call to the Fire, but God calls to the Garden and to forgiveness, by His leave. He makes clear His communications to the people, that they may be mindful.

Qur'an 2:221 Notes More threats

Qur'an 2:222 And they ask you about menstruation: say, “It is harmful, so keep away from women during menstruation. And do not approach them until they have become pure. Once they have become pure, approach them in the way God has directed you.” God loves the repentant, and He loves those who keep clean.”	Qur'an 2:222 Notes That's another one for the list!

Qur'an 2:223 Your women are cultivation for you; so approach your cultivation whenever you like, and send ahead for yourselves. And fear God, and know that you will meet Him. And give good news to the believers.	Qur'an 2:223 Notes Women are your objects to cultivate as you like.

Qur'an 2:224 And do not allow your oaths in God's name to hinder you from virtue, and righteousness, and making peace between people. God is Listener and Knower.	Qur'an 2:224 Notes God knows all.

Qur'an 2:225 God does not hold you responsible for your unintentional oaths, but He holds you responsible for your intentions. God is Forgiving and Forbearing.	Qur'an 2:225 Notes This verse is used to support taqiyya, the idea that lying is acceptable if it promotes the cause of Islam.[citation needed]

Qur'an 2:226 Those who vow abstinence from their wives must wait for four months. But if they reconcile—God is Forgiving and Merciful.	Qur'an 2:226 Notes Even when God casts you to eternal torture, there is a mercifulness somewhere in there. Perhaps he is merciful by not setting the fire to one million degrees kelvin?

Qur'an 2:227 And if they resolve to divorce—God is Hearing and Knowing.	Qur'an 2:227 Notes God knows all.

Qur'an 2:228 Divorced women shall wait by themselves for three periods. And it is not lawful for them to conceal what God has created in their wombs, if they believe in God and the Last Day. Meanwhile, their husbands have the better right to take them back, if they desire reconciliation. And women have rights similar to their obligations, according to what is fair. But men have a degree over them. God is Mighty and Wise.

Qur'an 2:228 Notes God is extremely particular about female menstruation

Qur'an 2:229 Divorce is allowed twice. Then, either honorable retention, or setting free kindly. It is not lawful for you to take back anything you have given them, unless they fear that they cannot maintain God's limits. If you fear that they cannot maintain God’s limits, then there is no blame on them if she sacrifices something for her release. These are God’s limits, so do not transgress them. Those who transgress God’s limits are the unjust.

Qur'an 2:229 Notes A law that in practice works out pretty easy for men and next to impossible for women.

Qur'an 2:230 If he divorces her, she shall not be lawful for him again until she has married another husband. If the latter divorces her, then there is no blame on them for reuniting, provided they think they can maintain God's limits. These are God’s limits; He makes them clear to people who know.	Qur'an 2:230 Notes The laws in this book are clear. That's why there are entire archives dedicated to working out what they all mean.

Qur'an 2:231 When you divorce women, and they have reached their term, either retain them amicably, or release them amicably. But do not retain them to hurt them and commit aggression. Whoever does that has wronged himself. And do not take God’s revelations for a joke. And remember God's favor to you, and that He revealed to you the Scripture and Wisdom to teach you. And fear God, and know that God is aware of everything.

Qur'an 2:231 Notes This verse is filled with the four recurring themes in The Cow: This book is true and you're stupid if you don't believe it, God knows all, the implications of believing and not believing and a dash of noble sentiment from time to time.

Qur'an 2:232 When you divorce women, and they have reached their term, do not prevent them from marrying their husbands, provided they agree on fair terms. Thereby is advised whoever among you believes in God and the Last Day. That is better and more decent for you. God knows, and you do not know.	Qur'an 2:232 Notes An occasional noble sentiment.

Qur'an 2:233 Mothers may nurse their infants for two whole years, for those who desire to complete the nursing-period. It is the duty of the father to provide for them and clothe them in a proper manner. No soul shall be burdened beyond its capacity. No mother shall be harmed on account of her child, and no father shall be harmed on account of his child. The same duty rests upon the heir. If the couple desire weaning, by mutual consent and consultation, they commit no error by doing so. You commit no error by hiring nursing-mothers, as long as you pay them fairly. And be wary of God, and know that God is Seeing of what you do.

Qur'an 2:233 Notes Dead beat dad's are okay.

Qur'an 2:234 As for those among you who die and leave widows behind, their widows shall wait by themselves for four months and ten days. When they have reached their term, there is no blame on you regarding what they might honorably do with themselves. God is fully acquainted with what you do.	Qur'an 2:234 Notes God knows all

Qur'an 2:235 You commit no error by announcing your engagement to women, or by keeping it to yourselves. God knows that you will be thinking about them. But do not meet them secretly, unless you have something proper to say. And do not confirm the marriage tie until the writing is fulfilled. And know that God knows what is in your souls, so beware of Him. And know that God is Forgiving and Forbearing.

Qur'an 2:235 Notes God knows all. If you keep repeating this ad nauseum...it becomes true.

Qur'an 2:236 You commit no error by divorcing women before having touched them, or before having set the dowry for them. And compensate them—the wealthy according to his means, and the poor according to his means—with a fair compensation, a duty upon the doers of good.	Qur'an 2:236 Notes You can change your mind if you haven't taken away their virginity.

Qur'an 2:237 If you divorce them before you have touched them, but after you had set the dowry for them, give them half of what you specified—unless they forego the right, or the one in whose hand is the marriage contract foregoes it. But to forego is nearer to piety. And do not forget generosity between one another. God is seeing of everything you do.	Qur'an 2:237 Notes God knows all

Qur'an 2:238 Guard your prayers, and the middle prayer, and stand before God in devotion.	Qur'an 2:238 Notes Submit

Qur'an 2:239 But if you are in fear, then on foot, or riding. And when you are safe, remember God, as He taught you what you did not know.	Qur'an 2:239 Notes This book is the truth

Qur'an 2:240 Those of you who die and leave wives behind—a will shall provide their wives with support for a year, provided they do not leave. If they leave, you are not to blame for what they do with themselves, provided it is reasonable. God is Mighty and Wise.	Qur'an 2:240 Notes Support for a woman for one meagre year is reasonable, mighty and wise.

Qur'an 2:241 And divorced women shall be provided for, equitably—a duty upon the righteous.	Qur'an 2:241 Notes A noble sentiment

Qur'an 2:242 God thus explains His revelations to you, so that you may understand.	Qur'an 2:242 Notes This book is true

Qur'an 2:243 Have you not considered those who fled their homes, by the thousands, fearful of death? God said to them, “Die.” Then He revived them. God is Gracious towards the people, but most people are not appreciative.	Qur'an 2:243 Notes God is gracious when he murders people and then resucitates them.

Qur'an 2:244 Fight in the cause of God, and know that God is Hearing and Knowing.	Qur'an 2:244 Notes God wants you to fight.

Qur'an 2:245 Who is he who will offer God a generous loan, so He will multiply it for him manifold? God receives and amplifies, and to Him you will be returned.	Qur'an 2:245 Notes Bribery for believing

Qur'an 2:246 Have you not considered the notables of the Children of Israel after Moses? When they said to a prophet of theirs, “Appoint a king for us, and we will fight in the cause of God.” He said, “Is it possible that, if fighting was ordained for you, you would not fight?” They said, “Why would we not fight in the cause of God, when we were driven out of our homes, along with our children?” But when fighting was ordained for them, they turned away, except for a few of them. But God is aware of the wrongdoers.

Qur'an 2:246 Notes God knows all

Qur'an 2:247 Their prophet said to them, “God has appointed Saul to be your king.” They said, “How can he have authority over us, when we are more worthy of authority than he, and he was not given plenty of wealth?” He said, “God has chosen him over you, and has increased him in knowledge and stature.” God bestows His sovereignty upon whomever He wills. God is Embracing and Knowing.	Qur'an 2:247 Notes In case you haven't figured it out yet, God knows all

Qur'an 2:248 And their prophet said to them, “The proof of his kingship is that the Ark will be restored to you, bringing tranquility from your Lord, and relics left by the family of Moses and the family of Aaron. It will be carried by the angels. In that is a sign for you, if you are believers.”	Qur'an 2:248 Notes An example of proof, angels flying away with relics.

Qur'an 2:249 When Saul set out with the troops, he said, “God will be testing you with a river. Whoever drinks from it does not belong with me. But whoever does not drink from it, does belong with me, except for whoever scoops up a little with his hand.” But they drank from it, except for a few of them. Then, when he crossed it, he and those who believed with him, they said, “We have no strength to face Goliath and his troops today.” But those who knew that they would meet God said, “How many a small group has defeated a large group by God’s will. God is with the steadfast.”

Qur'an 2:249 Notes You should have scooped up a little bit of that water with your cupped hands.

Qur'an 2:250 And when they confronted Goliath and his troops, they said, “Our Lord, pour down patience on us, and strengthen our foothold, and support us against the faithless people.”	Qur'an 2:250 Notes God wants you to fight for him.

Qur'an 2:251 And they defeated them by God’s leave, and David killed Goliath, and God gave him sovereignty and wisdom, and taught him as He willed. Were it not for God restraining the people, some by means of others, the earth would have gone to ruin. But God is gracious towards mankind.	Qur'an 2:251 Notes It seems that the message is: if you fight for God you will win. As it happens every day in Palestine.

Qur'an 2:252 These are God’s revelations, which We recite to you in truth. You are one of the messengers.	Qur'an 2:252 Notes This book is true

Qur'an 2:253 These messengers: We gave some advantage over others. To some of them God spoke directly, and some He raised in rank. We gave Jesus son of Mary the clear miracles, and We strengthened him with the Holy Spirit. Had God willed, those who succeeded them would not have fought one another, after the clear signs had come to them; but they disputed; some of them believed, and some of them disbelieved. Had God willed, they would not have fought one another; but God does whatever He desires.

Qur'an 2:253 Notes Clear signs (evidence) includes unverified claims of a supernatural event that is only documented by a clearly biased holy text.

Qur'an 2:254 O you who believe! Spend from what We have given you, before a Day comes in which there is neither trading, nor friendship, nor intercession. The disbelievers are the wrongdoers.	Qur'an 2:254 Notes Spend all of your Allah's good will while on Earth cause soon you'll either be in paradise or on fire

Qur'an 2:255 God! There is no god except He, the Living, the Everlasting. Neither slumber overtakes Him, nor sleep. To Him belongs everything in the heavens and everything on earth. Who is he that can intercede with Him except with His permission? He knows what is before them, and what is behind them; and they cannot grasp any of His knowledge, except as He wills. His Throne extends over the heavens and the earth, and their preservation does not burden Him. He is the Most High, the Great.

Qur'an 2:255 Notes Humility, apparantly, is not a quality of greatness.

Qur'an 2:256 There shall be no compulsion in religion; the right way has become distinct from the wrong way. Whoever renounces evil and believes in God has grasped the most trustworthy handle; which does not break. God is Hearing and Knowing.	Qur'an 2:256 Notes If only the several centuries of Islamic conquest and religious wars followed any of this advice.

Qur'an 2:257 God is the Lord of those who believe; He brings them out of darkness and into light. As for those who disbelieve, their lords are the evil ones; they bring them out of light and into darkness—these are the inmates of the Fire, in which they will abide forever.	Qur'an 2:257 Notes Boogeymen

Qur'an 2:258 Have you not considered him who argued with Abraham about his Lord, because God had given him sovereignty? Abraham said, “My Lord is He who gives life and causes death.” He said, “I give life and cause death.” Abraham said, “God brings the sun from the East, so bring it from the West,” so the blasphemer was confounded. God does not guide the wrongdoing people.	Qur'an 2:258 Notes Edited Old testament fables

Qur'an 2:259 Or like him who passed by a town collapsed on its foundations. He said, “How can God revive this after its demise?” Thereupon God caused him to die for a hundred years, and then resurrected him. He said, “For how long have you tarried?” He said, “I have tarried for a day, or part of a day.” He said, “No. You have tarried for a hundred years. Now look at your food and your drink—it has not spoiled—and look at your donkey. We will make you a wonder for mankind. And look at the bones, how We arrange them, and then clothe them with flesh.” So when it became clear to him, he said, “I know that God has power over all things.”

Qur'an 2:259 Notes God does magical seeming things to impress people.

Qur'an 2:260 And when Abraham said, “My Lord, show me how You give life to the dead.” He said, “Have you not believed?” He said, “Yes, but to put my heart at ease.” He said, “Take four birds, and incline them to yourself, then place a part on each hill, then call to them; and they will come rushing to you. And know that God is Powerful and Wise.”	Qur'an 2:260 Notes It seems that Allah didn't have any problem with Abraham's lingering skepticism here.

Qur'an 2:261 The parable of those who spend their wealth in God’s way is that of a grain that produces seven spikes; in each spike is a hundred grains. God multiplies for whom He wills. God is Bounteous and Knowing.	Qur'an 2:261 Notes God simply has a bewildering array of incredible qualities that need to be repeated again and again.

Qur'an 2:262 Those who spend their wealth in the way of God, and then do not follow up what they spent with reminders of their generosity or with insults, will have their reward with their Lord—they have nothing to fear, nor shall they grieve.	Qur'an 2:262 Notes Bribery to believe

Qur'an 2:263 Kind words and forgiveness are better than charity followed by insults. God is Rich and Clement.	Qur'an 2:263 Notes God is wealthy? I would imagine so. I'd hope so. Certainly if he created everything he'd definitely be rich.

Qur'an 2:264 O you who believe! Do not nullify your charitable deeds with reminders and hurtful words, like him who spends his wealth to be seen by the people, and does not believe in God and the Last Day. His likeness is that of a smooth rock covered with soil: a downpour strikes it, and leaves it bare—they gain nothing from their efforts. God does not guide the disbelieving people.	Qur'an 2:264 Notes Allah doesn't like it when people show off, even though Allah shows off his great powers to terrify or impress people.

Qur'an 2:265 And the parable of those who spend their wealth seeking God’s approval, and to strengthen their souls, is that of a garden on a hillside. If heavy rain falls on it, its produce is doubled; and if no heavy rain falls, then dew is enough. God is seeing of everything you do.	Qur'an 2:265 Notes Allah knows all

Qur'an 2:266 Would anyone of you like to have a garden of palms and vines, under which rivers flow—with all kinds of fruit in it for him, and old age has stricken him, and he has weak children—then a tornado with fire batters it, and it burns down? Thus God makes clear the signs for you, so that you may reflect.	Qur'an 2:266 Notes Reflect on this dismal form of evidence.

Qur'an 2:267 O you who believe! Give of the good things you have earned, and from what We have produced for you from the earth. And do not pick the inferior things to give away, when you yourselves would not accept it except with eyes closed. And know that God is Sufficient and Praiseworthy.	Qur'an 2:267 Notes I think eventually they will run out of adjectives to apply to the incredible being in the sky.

Qur'an 2:268 Satan promises you poverty, and urges you to immorality; but God promises you forgiveness from Himself, and grace. God is Embracing and Knowing.	Qur'an 2:268 Notes Boogeyman

Qur'an 2:269 He gives wisdom to whomever He wills. Whoever is given wisdom has been given much good. But none pays heed except those with insight.	Qur'an 2:269 Notes Allah allows some people to be stupid.

Qur'an 2:270 Whatever charity you give, or a pledge you fulfill, God knows it. The wrongdoers have no helpers.	Qur'an 2:270 Notes Allah knows all.

Qur'an 2:271 If you give charity openly, that is good. But if you keep it secret, and give it to the needy in private, that is better for you. It will atone for some of your misdeeds. God is cognizant of what you do.	Qur'an 2:271 Notes Humility is a good thing. Allah likes humans who have qualities he doesn't.

Qur'an 2:272 Their guidance is not your responsibility, but God guides whom He wills. Any charity you give is for your own good. Any charity you give shall be for the sake of God. Any charity you give will be repaid to you in full, and you will not be wronged.	Qur'an 2:272 Notes Give away stuff to charity, cause eventually you will get it all back in paradise.

Qur'an 2:273 It is for the poor; those who are restrained in the way of God, and unable to travel in the land. The unaware would think them rich, due to their dignity. You will recognize them by their features. They do not ask from people insistently. Whatever charity you give, God is aware of it.	Qur'an 2:273 Notes God knows all

Qur'an 2:274 Those who spend their wealth by night and day, privately and publicly, will receive their reward from their Lord. They have nothing to fear, nor shall they grieve.	Qur'an 2:274 Notes No fire for them

Qur'an 2:275 Those who swallow usury will not rise, except as someone driven mad by Satan's touch. That is because they say, “Commerce is like usury.” But God has permitted commerce, and has forbidden usury. Whoever, on receiving advice from his Lord, refrains, may keep his past earnings, and his case rests with God. But whoever resumes—these are the dwellers of the Fire, wherein they will abide forever.

Qur'an 2:275 Notes That's another one for the list! Don't lend money at high interest.

Qur'an 2:276 God condemns usury, and He blesses charities. God does not love any sinful ingrate.	Qur'an 2:276 Notes This is actually not so bad at all. A world of givers would probably be better than a world of lenders. Too bad Allah never decided to, you know, actually make that happen.

Qur'an 2:277 Those who believe, and do good deeds, and pray regularly, and give charity—they will have their reward with their Lord; they will have no fear, nor shall they grieve.	Qur'an 2:277 Notes Be a good person, because in the end you'll be rewarded for it.

Qur'an 2:278 O you who believe! Fear God, and forgo what remains of usury, if you are believers.	Qur'an 2:278 Notes Control through fear

Qur'an 2:279 If you do not, then take notice of a war by God and His Messenger. But if you repent, you may keep your capital, neither wronging, nor being wronged.	Qur'an 2:279 Notes The holy conquest is coming

Qur'an 2:280 But if he is in hardship, then deferment until a time of ease. But to remit it as charity is better for you, if you only knew.	Qur'an 2:280 Notes Hooray! Something we can agree with; debt relief!

Qur'an 2:281 And guard yourselves against a Day when you will be returned to God; then each soul will be rewarded fully for what it has earned, and they will not be wronged.	Qur'an 2:281 Notes Be a good person because you will get a prize for it.

Qur'an 2:282 O you who believe! When you incur debt among yourselves for a certain period of time, write it down. And have a scribe write in your presence, in all fairness. And let no scribe refuse to write, as God has taught him. So let him write, and let the debtor dictate. And let him fear God, his Lord, and diminish nothing from it. But if the debtor is mentally deficient, or weak, or unable to dictate, then let his guardian dictate with honesty. And call to witness two men from among you. If two men are not available, then one man and two women whose testimony is acceptable to all—if one of them fails to remember, the other would remind her. Witnesses must not refuse when called upon. And do not think it too trivial to write down, whether small or large, including the time of repayment. That is more equitable with God, and stronger as evidence, and more likely to prevent doubt—except in the case of a spot transaction between you—then there is no blame on you if you do not write it down. And let there be witnesses whenever you conclude a contract, and let no harm be done to either scribe or witness. If you do that, it is corruption on your part. And fear God. God teaches you. God is aware of everything.

Qur'an 2:282 Notes Women are worth less than men, even in banking regulations.

Qur'an 2:283 If you are on a journey, and cannot find a scribe, then a security deposit should be handed over. But if you trust one another, let the trustee fulfill his trust, and let him fear God, his Lord. And do not conceal testimony. Whoever conceals it is sinner at heart. God is aware of what you do.	Qur'an 2:283 Notes God knows all

Qur'an 2:284 To God belongs everything in the heavens and the earth. Whether you reveal what is within your selves, or conceal it, God will call you to account for it. He forgives whom He wills, and He punishes whom He wills. God is Able to do all things.	Qur'an 2:284 Notes Allah is the chief of the thought police and his judgements are final with no appeal process. Try not to think.

Qur'an 2:285 The Messenger has believed in what was revealed to him from his Lord, as did the believers. They all have believed in God, and His angels, and His scriptures, and His messengers: “We make no distinction between any of His messengers.” And they say, “We hear and we obey. Your forgiveness, our Lord. To you is the destiny.”	Qur'an 2:285 Notes The messenger believed the voices in his head.

Qur'an 2:286 God does not burden any soul beyond its capacity. To its credit is what it earns, and against it is what it commits. “Our Lord, do not condemn us if we forget or make a mistake. Our Lord, do not burden us as You have burdened those before us. Our Lord, do not burden us with more than we have strength to bear; and pardon us, and forgive us, and have mercy on us. You are our Lord and Master, so help us against the disbelieving people.”

Qur'an 2:286 Notes Apparantly God doesn't burden believer's souls, except for the millions of believers who suffer greatly and face conflicts in their faith and their confusion over how Allah could let them live in such hardship and suffering.