Fun:Andy's Evening
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Andy's Evening[edit]
Thunder echoed in the distance, the starless sky portraying a seemingly impenetrable darkness, broken only occasionally by a blinding flash. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. The day had been long and tedious, all day Andy had been focusing on an upcoming event, Conservapedia Day. The long day had passed, Andy was able to rest. Sitting back in his chair, he allowed his aching muscles to slacken as he finally allowed himself to relax.
Muttering under his breath,
Andy's thoughts turned to the recent
success Conservapedia has had on YouTube.
As he
fondly reminisced of the years George W. Bush was president,
Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep.
Woken by a sudden sound, Andy sat immediately upright, throwing out his back as he did so.
With the speed of a man half his age, Andy took flight as he bolted toward his study to answer his phone.
Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation.
The colour drained quickly from Andy's face as some unwelcome news was relayed to him. Dropping the receiver, he leapt across the room to his computer.
The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles.
"
Filthy librulz!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.
His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from
Phelps's site and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article.
As the article loaded,
Andy was incandescent with rage when he read repeated requests for him to cite the sources of the statistics he'd cleverly developed in support of his claims.
After immediately
reverting the changes, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.
After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:
- ' "Anonymous User" (obviously not your real name), your view of conservatism is cartoonish and, no, Jesus did not preach the "separation of church and state." I've analyzed your unconcise replies and see you're suffering from evolution syndrome, so clearly you're trying to hurt this project. Open your mind and admit that chivalry was and is an ideal for all to strive for. It is very effective in reducing and eliminating friction, insults, hard-feelings, and accidents, not to mention that it deters skateboarding. Contrary to what many of you obese atheists like to claim, Obama stood by his statement, in which he concluded that he "was right" as supposedly proven by his absurd analysis. I'm moving on to more productive topics on this site, and hope you can do likewise. It's not productive for me to discuss your other political positions when you seem unwilling yourself to state them.--Aschlafly 10:42, 9 November 2025 (UTC)'
Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:
- Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of Infinite (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Lacks machismo)
Having defeated reality and its liberal bias, Andy knew his blog was safe again.
Chuckling to himself, Andy knew it was safe to sleep once again. He knew he'd earned it.
The End