Fun:Andy's Evening

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Andy's Evening[edit]

The sound of the rain hitting the rooftop was steadily growing, what had started as a pleasant, cool evening was soon becoming a large storm. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. The events of that day had been strangely arousing, not least of all because of the second coming of Jesus. As long as the day had been, it seemed worth it for this very moment, the opportunity to relax.


Muttering under his breath, Andy's thoughts turned to the recent mention Conservapedia has had in the media, which he confirmed with a quick skim was glowing positive! As he enjoyed the peace of the moment, Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep. Grappling in the darkness for his glasses, Andy grumbled as his sleep was cut short. With the speed of a man half his age, Andy took flight as he bolted toward his study to answer his phone. Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation. Andy felt his grip on the phone tighten as the moment he had been dreading unfolded before him. With a loud crack, the phone had snapped in half under Andy's grip. With no hesitation, Andy dashed to his computer. The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles. " Godless tit!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.


His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from an intriguing e-mail from a Nigerian prince offering some financial assistance to Conservapedia, and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article. As the article loaded, Andy was incandescent with rage when he read repeated requests for him to cite the sources of the statistics he'd cleverly developed in support of his claims. After immediately reverting the changes, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.


After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:

' "Anonymous User" (obviously not your real name), I've analyzed your unconcise replies and if you were a true agnostic you would have 50% Bible edits and 50% non-Bible edits, so I'm confident you're a member of the far left. Open your mind and admit that religion stops crime. In sum, the death penalty increases the possibility of redemption. Godspeed if you go elsewhere to insist on your unchanging viewpoint.--Andy Schlafly 23:37, 24 May 2024 (UTC)'

Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:

Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of 5 years (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Moronic vandalism)


With the liberal vandal defeated, Andy breathed a deep sigh. Chuckling to himself, Andy knew it was safe to sleep once again. He knew he'd earned it.

The End