Fun:Andy's Evening
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Andy's Evening[edit]
The sound of the rain hitting the rooftop was steadily growing, what had started as a pleasant, cool evening was soon becoming a large storm. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. The day had been difficult but rewarding. Through his skill and persistence, Andy had finally managed to teach his class about Ed Poor's parole hearing. His day behind him, he permitted himself a brief respite from the struggle against Hollywood values.
Cackling to himself with complete abandon,
Andy's thoughts turned to the recent
insight he had; that no Conservapedians anywhere had any mental problems.
As he
demanded his wife make him a ham and swiss cheese sandwich, to fulfill her duty as his 'helpmeet',
Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep.
Woken by a sudden sound, Andy sat immediately upright, throwing out his back as he did so.
Stumbling down the dark corridor towards his ringing phone, Andy was started by a sudden hissing noise. Looking down he saw that he had accidentally trodden on his cat's tail. A quick, painful swipe at Andy's leg and the cat had taken off into the darkness.
Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation.
The colour drained quickly from Andy's face as some unwelcome news was relayed to him. Dropping the receiver, he leapt across the room to his computer.
The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles.
"
Fateless nebbish!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.
His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from
Phelps's site and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article.
As the article loaded,
Andy felt his rage start to build as he noticed numerous instances of truth in the previously conservative-friendly article.
After immediately
praying for god to smite the author, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.
After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:
- ' "Anonymous User" (I notice how you hide behind an alias), you won't deny it, but you won't admit it either. Sounds like you should hold a debate with yourself. I reread the beginning of your rant at the top of this section and found them to be barely related to the point at issue here, so regardless, I'm so confident that you're being taken in by so many atheistic lies that you are most certainly obese. You also clearly deny that the Bush doctrine prevents Wikipedia bias. Believe what you like, but E=mc2, which is still repeated and taught in Pavlovian manner by relativists, is simply false as a general equality. And your "
" of Jesus riding a dinosaur is silly. The Bible is completely logical. If you stick with that, then we can have a productive discussion.--Andy Schlafly 06:28, 13 July 2025 (UTC)'
Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:
- Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of 394200000 sec. (5 years) (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Lacks machismo)
Having defeated reality and its liberal bias, Andy knew his blog was safe again.
Pausing briefly to salute the confederate flag that proudly adorned his wall, he returned to his long neglected bed.
The End