Fun:Andy's Evening

From RationalWiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search

This story is randomly generated, click for a new story! Please help add to it!
...But please remember to keep your additions in past-tense.

Andy's Evening[edit]

Thunder echoed in the distance, the starless sky portraying a seemingly impenetrable darkness, broken only occasionally by a blinding flash. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. He was used to receiving hourly requests for attention from Ken, but in this one instance he smiled as he read Ken's latest article suggestion: Richard Dawkins and TK's banning of the last unbanned IP address on Earth. The long day had passed, Andy was able to rest. Sitting back in his chair, he allowed his aching muscles to slacken as he finally allowed himself to relax.


Whispering quietly to himself, Andy's thoughts turned to the recent insight he had; that no Conservapedians anywhere had any mental problems. As he enjoyed the peace of the moment, Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep. Grappling in the darkness for his glasses, Andy grumbled as his sleep was cut short. Stumbling down the dark corridor towards his ringing phone, Andy was started by a sudden hissing noise. Looking down he saw that he had accidentally trodden on his cat's tail. A quick, painful swipe at Andy's leg and the cat had taken off into the darkness. Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation. As Andy was informed of the situation that had unfolded in his absence, his blood began to boil. Without so much as a farewell, Andy slammed the phone down and made haste to his computer. The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles. " Liberal nitwit!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.


His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from WorldNetDaily and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article. As the article loaded, Andy's pupils shrank to specks, his glasses started to fog up as pure rage shows on his face. After immediately burning the page, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.


After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:

' "Anonymous User" (if that is your real name), I reread the beginning of your rant at the top of this section and noticed you draw a silly distinction between sheep and goats (which I've reverted), so regardless, I'm so confident that you're trying to spread liberal hearsay. You are in complete denial that that women knowing their place reduces crime. Liberals don't like it, but liberals try to invade and transform churches, and the list of examples is too long to provide here. If you prefer logic, then Christianity is the religion for you. After a while, the liberal nonsense is so obvious that we don't even bother commenting on it.--aschlafly 00:10, 27 July 2024 (UTC)'

Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:

Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of 394200000 sec. (5 years) (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Moronic vandalism)


With the liberal vandal defeated, Andy breathed a deep sigh. Chuckling to himself, Andy knew it was safe to sleep once again. He knew he'd earned it.

The End