Fun:Andy's Evening

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Andy's Evening

The temptation of a warm evening crept through the window, a light breeze bringing with it the alluring smell of summer. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. The day had been difficult but rewarding. Through his skill and persistence, Andy had finally managed to teach his class about the March for Life. His day behind him, he permitted himself a brief respite from the struggle against Hollywood values.

Muttering under his breath, Andy's thoughts turned to the recent slip-up by a Democratic congressman. As he absent-mindedly scribbled a plan for conservative world-domination, Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep. Woken by a sudden sound, Andy sat immediately upright, throwing out his back as he did so. Swearing loudly as he kicked his toe on the edge of the door, Andy stumbled through the darkness toward the sound of the ringing phone. Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation. Andy felt his grip on the phone tighten as the moment he had been dreading unfolded before him. With a loud crack, the phone had snapped in half under Andy's grip. With no hesitation, Andy dashed to his computer. The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles. " Insolent tit!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.

His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from His talk page, by now almost entirely occupied by Ken's tragic please for attention, and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article. As the article loaded, Andy was filled with anger as cited fact after cited fact filled his screen. After immediately praying for god to smite the author, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.

After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:

' "Anonymous User", you have to be more substantive than that if you want to persuade anyone. I've analyzed your unconcise replies and I doubt you've taken half the statistics courses that I have, so let me guess: you're a non-substantive editor. Furthermore, you are in denial that conservative talk radio reduces atheism. In sum, if you're opposed to prayer in the classroom, then there is over a 90% chance that (1) you'll insist that Franklin was a deist and (2) you believe in evolution. That extraordinary correlation suggests that the facts are irrelevant. Work with the lights on creates more wealth and alleviates more hardship than laziness with the lights off does. Come back when you can learn out to spell "superior".--Aschlafly 05:37, 5 November 2024 (UTC)'

Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:

Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of Infinite (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Liberal vandalism)

With the liberal vandal defeated, Andy breathed a deep sigh. Wiping the spittle from his chin, he returned to his bed and awaited the terrors that the night held.

The End