This story is randomly generated,
...But please remember to keep your additions in past-tense.
The summer air wafted in, frustratingly undermining free market principles by providing warmth at no cost. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. The day had been difficult but rewarding. Through his skill and persistence, Andy had finally managed to teach his class about the rapture. The long day had passed, Andy was able to rest. Sitting back in his chair, he allowed his aching muscles to slacken as he finally allowed himself to relax.
Whispering quietly to himself, Andy's thoughts turned to the recent liberal attempts to destroy Conservapedia. As he absent-mindedly scribbled a plan for conservative world-domination, Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep. Woken by a sudden sound, Andy sat immediately upright, throwing out his back as he did so. Stumbling down the dark corridor towards his ringing phone, Andy was started by a sudden hissing noise. Looking down he saw that he had accidentally trodden on his cat's tail. A quick, painful swipe at Andy's leg and the cat had taken off into the darkness. Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation. Andy felt his grip on the phone tighten as the moment he had been dreading unfolded before him. With a loud crack, the phone had snapped in half under Andy's grip. With no hesitation, Andy dashed to his computer. The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles. " Fateless schmuck!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.
His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from an intriguing e-mail from a Nigerian prince offering some financial assistance to Conservapedia, and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article. As the article loaded, Andy was filled with anger as cited fact after cited fact filled his screen. After immediately burning the page, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.
After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:
- ' "Anonymous User" (what a ridiculous user name!), did ABC News also confirm that 2+2=5? I've managed to read your rants and I doubt you've taken half the statistics courses that I have, so my confidence is over three standard deviations away from the mean that you're not an American. Open your mind and admit that Conservapedia helps resist drug abuse. As I've said before, Richard Dawkins has never been a "Professor". Please find a different scapegoat. --aschlafly 18:02, 20 June 2019 (UTC)'
Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:
- Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of Infinite (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Moronic vandalism)
Conservapedia was safe for another night. Thanks to Andy's vigilant efforts, Conservapedians continued to wallow in their ignorance. Things were back to normal.