Fun:Andy's Evening

This story is randomly generated, click for a new story! Please help add to it!
^{...But please remember to keep your additions in past-tense.}

Andy's Evening

He had been on the cross for barely two days before they had cut him down. As he trudged back to his house, the cold breeze from the nearby trees made him shudder. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. The day had been long and tedious, all day Andy had been focusing on an upcoming event, Conservapedia Day. As long as the day had been, it seemed worth it for this very moment, the opportunity to relax.

Clutching his treasured lock of Reagan's hair, Andy's thoughts turned to the recent insight he had; that no Conservapedians anywhere had any mental problems. As he demanded his wife make him a ham and swiss cheese sandwich, to fulfill her duty as his 'helpmeet', Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep. Andy's dream of detonating himself for the glory of Allah was cruelly torn away as he awoke with a start. With the speed of a man half his age, Andy took flight as he bolted toward his study to answer his phone. Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation. The colour drained quickly from Andy's face as some unwelcome news was relayed to him. Dropping the receiver, he leapt across the room to his computer. The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles. " Godless ruffian!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.

His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from His talk page, by now almost entirely occupied by Ken's tragic please for attention, and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article. As the article loaded, Andy was filled with anger as cited fact after cited fact filled his screen. After immediately burning the page, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.

After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:

' "Anonymous User", I don't have time right now to read your lengthy posting. I've managed to read your rants and your blocking history suggests you have been less than straightforward, so it's painfully obvious that you're an atheistic believer in the fantasy of extraterrestrial life. You are in complete denial that that faith prevents against atheism. Liberals don't like it, but the Gospel of John is the greatest book in the history of mankind. How about learning first, and then preaching second? After a while, the liberal nonsense is so obvious that we don't even bother commenting on it.--Andy Schlafly 10:35, 21 November 2024 (UTC)'

Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:

Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of 394200000 sec. (5 years) (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Moronic vandalism)

Having defeated reality and its liberal bias, Andy knew his blog was safe again. Chuckling to himself, Andy knew it was safe to sleep once again. He knew he'd earned it.

The End