Fun:Andy's Evening

From RationalWiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search

This story is randomly generated, click for a new story! Please help add to it!
...But please remember to keep your additions in past-tense.

Andy's Evening[edit]

The temptation of a warm evening crept through the window, a light breeze bringing with it the alluring smell of summer. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. A long day had finally passed, the stress had gradually worn at Andy, who had been focusing on the second coming of Jesus. The stress of the long day seemed to evaporate as Andy lowered himself into his chair, the burdens of the day had finally lifted.


Clutching his treasured lock of Reagan's hair, Andy's thoughts turned to the recent liberal attempts to destroy Conservapedia. As he demanded his wife make him a ham and swiss cheese sandwich, to fulfill her duty as his 'helpmeet', Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep. Woken by a sudden sound, Andy sat immediately upright, throwing out his back as he did so. With the speed of a man half his age, Andy took flight as he bolted toward his study to answer his phone. Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation. Andy felt his grip on the phone tighten as the moment he had been dreading unfolded before him. With a loud crack, the phone had snapped in half under Andy's grip. With no hesitation, Andy dashed to his computer. The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles. " Son of a imbecile!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.


His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from Fox News and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article. As the article loaded, Andy was filled with anger as cited fact after cited fact filled his screen. After immediately burning the page, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.


After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:

' "Anonymous User" (sounds like another self-centered liberal, like Obama), your attempt at censorship won't work here. I looked at your contributions and there is an anti-Christian tone to your postings, so I'm confident you're a spokesperson for the homosexual agenda. Open your mind and admit that classroom prayer reduces crime. I repeat: the public school mindset of morality is what you want it to be, and trespassing against others is OK if you want it to be. The conservative side of ideas rather than control, of free speech rather than political correctness, continues to grow. Study the Bible and follow its commandments.--Aschlafly 15:11, 19 April 2024 (UTC)'

Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:

Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of Until the rapture (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Lacks machismo)


With the liberal vandal defeated, Andy breathed a deep sigh. Thanks to Andy's vigilant efforts, Conservapedians continued to wallow in their ignorance. Things were back to normal.

The End