Fun:Andy's Evening

From RationalWiki
Jump to: navigation, search

This story is randomly generated, click for a new story! Please help add to it!
...But please remember to keep your additions in past-tense.

Andy's Evening[edit]

The night air drifted through the curtains, bringing with it humidity, the aftermath of a warm, damp day. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. The day had been long and tedious, all day Andy had been focusing on an upcoming event, his deflowering at the hands of the rough sailors. His day behind him, he permitted himself a brief respite from the struggle against Hollywood values.

Muttering under his breath, Andy's thoughts turned to the recent Illuminati meeting he had attended. As he perused Conservapedia's recent changes, Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep. Grappling in the darkness for his glasses, Andy grumbled as his sleep was cut short. With the speed of a man half his age, Andy took flight as he bolted toward his study to answer his phone. Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation. As Andy was informed of the situation that had unfolded in his absence, his blood began to boil. Without so much as a farewell, Andy slammed the phone down and made haste to his computer. The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles. " Insolent liberal!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.

His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from Fox News and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article. As the article loaded, Andy was appalled at the sources cited for the new information added to the article, the list of university sites clearly shows status worship contamination. After immediately burning the page, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.

After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:

' "Anonymous User" (you're not credible, liberal), give it up. I've responded to your concerns and answered your questions and found propaganda supporting tax-payer funded abortion and higher taxes, so it's painfully obvious that you're not here to substantially contribute to this project. And you persist in denying the obvious truth that capital punishment reduces insanity. Believe what you like, but girls can't excel in math as well as boys can. Liberals teach they can, which is teaching a falsehood. Deny this and lose credibility. You're trespassing; don't return.--Aschlafly 01:51, 20 February 2019 (UTC)'

Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:

Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of Infinite (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Liberal vandalism)

Having defeated reality and its liberal bias, Andy knew his blog was safe again. Thanks to Andy's vigilant efforts, Conservapedians continued to wallow in their ignorance. Things were back to normal.

The End