Fun:Andy's Evening

This Conservapedia-related article is of largely historical interest and is no longer the focus of RationalWiki today. Conservapedia (and religious fundamentalism to an extent) was a major focal point in the early history of RationalWiki, but long ago ceased coming up with new ways to appall and amuse. Our energies are now spent debunking other, fresher examples of pseudoscientific claims, authoritarianism, and deceit. For RationalWiki's less ancient content, try the Best of RationalWiki.

This story is randomly generated, click for a new story! Please help add to it!
^{...But please remember to keep your additions in past-tense.}

Andy's Evening

The sound of the rain hitting the rooftop was steadily growing, what had started as a pleasant, cool evening was soon becoming a large storm. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. The evening brought with it a reprieve, for the day had passed slowly, as if the sun had slowed in its course. The day was not wasted however, as Andy had taken the opportunity to write an article on his deflowering at the hands of the rough sailors. The stress of the long day seemed to evaporate as Andy lowered himself into his chair, the burdens of the day had finally lifted.

Cackling to himself with complete abandon, Andy's thoughts turned to the recent liberal attempts to destroy Conservapedia. As he perused Conservapedia's recent changes, Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep. Grappling in the darkness for his glasses, Andy grumbled as his sleep was cut short. Swearing loudly as he kicked his toe on the edge of the door, Andy stumbled through the darkness toward the sound of the ringing phone. Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation. The colour drained quickly from Andy's face as some unwelcome news was relayed to him. Dropping the receiver, he leapt across the room to his computer. The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles. " Liberal redneck!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.

His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from His talk page, by now almost entirely occupied by Ken's tragic please for attention, and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article. As the article loaded, Andy's pupils shrank to specks, his glasses started to fog up as pure rage shows on his face. After immediately reverting the changes, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.

After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:

' "Anonymous User" (your insulting name is getting tiresome), you have to be more substantive than that if you want to persuade anyone. I've managed to read your rants and you frequently spell "Hell" with a lower case "h", so whether you admit it or not, I can tell you're wrong. Open your mind and admit that pregnancy deters Evolution Syndrome. In sum, a Muslim] name indicates a high probably that the person is Muslim, due to a high correlation between Muslim names and being Muslim. The insight as expressed is factual and informative. --Andy Schlafly 01:12, 22 December 2024 (UTC)'

Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:

Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of Until the rapture (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Lacks machismo)

With the liberal vandal defeated, Andy breathed a deep sigh. Thanks to Andy's vigilant efforts, Conservapedians continued to wallow in their ignorance. Things were back to normal.

The End