Fun:Andy's Evening
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Andy's Evening[edit]
The night air drifted through the curtains, bringing with it humidity, the aftermath of a warm, damp day. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. He was used to receiving hourly requests for attention from Ken, but in this one instance he smiled as he read Ken's latest article suggestion: Richard Dawkins and the strange smell coming from mommy Schlafly's secret room. The long day had passed, Andy was able to rest. Sitting back in his chair, he allowed his aching muscles to slacken as he finally allowed himself to relax.
Cackling to himself with complete abandon,
Andy's thoughts turned to the recent
insight he had; that no Conservapedians anywhere had any mental problems.
As he
took yet another sip of his whiskey,
Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep.
Andy's dreams of white clouds and warm, loving light evaporated as he woke suddenly.
With the speed of a man half his age, Andy took flight as he bolted toward his study to answer his phone.
Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation.
As Andy was informed of the situation that had unfolded in his absence, his blood began to boil. Without so much as a farewell, Andy slammed the phone down and made haste to his computer.
The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles.
"
Filthy librulz!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.
His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from
Phelps's site and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article.
As the article loaded,
Andy was incandescent with rage when he read repeated requests for him to cite the sources of the statistics he'd cleverly developed in support of his claims.
After immediately
reverting the changes, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.
After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:
- ' "Anonymous User" (isn't it funny how liberals present themselves?), there's that liberal over-reliance on mockery, point 25 of liberal style. You follow your style book well. I looked at many of your edits before reverting them and it's the high word:substance ratio that characterizes the liberal every time, so it's obvious to me you're lacking a largely defensive weapon of gun. Your atheistic worldview has led you to deny that teaching phonics deters drug abuse. Got news for you: Evolution conflicts with logic, science, and Christianity. Godspeed in your efforts to find someone else to debate you.--aschlafly 23:32, 13 October 2025 (UTC)'
Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:
- Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of 394200000 sec. (5 years) (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Moronic vandalism)
Having defeated reality and its liberal bias, Andy knew his blog was safe again.
Pausing briefly to salute the confederate flag that proudly adorned his wall, he returned to his long neglected bed.
The End