Fun:Andy's Evening
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Andy's Evening[edit]
The sound of the rain hitting the rooftop was steadily growing, what had started as a pleasant, cool evening was soon becoming a large storm. The weather, however, was the last thing on Andy Schlafly's mind. The day had been long and tedious, all day Andy had been focusing on an upcoming event, Conservapedia Day. The stress of the long day seemed to evaporate as Andy lowered himself into his chair, the burdens of the day had finally lifted.
With a gleam in his eye and a spring in his step,
Andy's thoughts turned to the recent
insight he had; that no Conservapedians anywhere had any mental problems.
As he
sat at his computer, Googling his own name,
Andy felt himself grow tired. The long day had taken its toll, it was finally time to sleep.
Grappling in the darkness for his glasses, Andy grumbled as his sleep was cut short.
Pulling his pants on as he ran toward his study and the ringing phone, Andy swayed dangerously as his hangover took full effect.
Having reached his study, Andy picked up the phone and muttered his salutation.
Andy felt his grip on the phone tighten as the moment he had been dreading unfolded before him. With a loud crack, the phone had snapped in half under Andy's grip. With no hesitation, Andy dashed to his computer.
The liberal vandals were at it again, adding facts to Conservapedia's prized articles.
"
Fateless mamzer!" he yelled at the top of his lungs, startling the neighbors.
His eyes watering from the brightness of the screen, Andy quickly redirected his browser away from
an intriguing e-mail from a Nigerian prince offering some financial assistance to Conservapedia, and toward Conservapedia's contaminated article.
As the article loaded,
Andy was filled with anger as cited fact after cited fact filled his screen.
After immediately
burning the page, Andy opened the talk page and prepared to make a strong case against the alterations.
After much thought and careful wording, Andy posted his response to the previous editor of his article:
- ' "Anonymous User" (obviously not your real name), blasphemy is so prevalent among Darwinists that Wikipedia has gone to great lengths to bury the connection. I've managed to read your rants and found liberal opposition to chivalry, so it's obvious to me you're not an American. Your atheistic worldview has led you to deny that a larger tax cut for the wealthy stops Shaken Baby Syndrome. Observation and logic dictate that the BBC is liberal and clueless about American politics. Many other sites offer game-playing, ranting, bickering, and blogging opportunities. Go back to watching Comedy Central with the other public schoolers.--Andy Schlafly 12:04, 23 September 2025 (UTC)'
Still not satisfied, Andy decided to ban the user for their insubordination. Cackling to himself, he clicked the Ban button and smiled widely as the log showed:
- Aschlafly (Talk|Contribs) blocked AmesG with an expiry time of 5 years (account creation disabled, e-mail blocked) (Moronic vandalism)
Conservapedia was safe for another night.
Pausing briefly to salute the confederate flag that proudly adorned his wall, he returned to his long neglected bed.
The End