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Bacon: the power of lard!

Bacon is both a vegetable and a meat. It is also the universal sandwich improver, not to mention hella addictive on its own. The main ingredients to make bacon are a bunch of dead pigs and an injection of a wonderful ingredient that scares people for some reason, either through its pure form or its celery form despite what uncured bacon manufacturers tend to claim. Either way, bacon is still delicious no matter how it's cured. Other, less common types of bacon are made with different dead animals and they taste differently. This includes dead turkeys and cows.

Bacon is far tastier than, say, hamburgers (thus the existence of the bacon cheeseburger), but not quite so much as kittens. Or sex (ORLY?).

Life expectancy would grow by leaps and bounds if green vegetables smelled as good as bacon.
—Doug Larson.

Pray unto thee: