Fun:Conservapedia, The Musical/Moody
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By caius (pirate), a big fan of Ruddigore
Very Bad Lyrics Written By Someone With No Talent[edit]
Chorus is a chorus of homeschoolers.
- TK: Oh, why am I crazy and bad?
- Chorus: Can't guess!
- TK: And why am I insane and a cad?
- Chorus: Confess!
- TK: Because I am thoroughly MAD!
- Chorus: Oh yes �
- TK:You'll see it at once in my face. Oh, why am I dumb as a horse?
- Chorus: Ah, why?
- TK: It's the beating of puppies, of course.
- Chorus: Fie, fie!
- TK: I do it without much remorse!
- Chorus: Oh my!
- TK:At least that is so in my case!
- TK:When your lies you have fully deployed
- Chorus: Like you �
- TK:As a sysop you'll soon be employed
- Chorus: It do.
- TK: But my penalty none can avoid!
- Chorus: How true!
- TK:I would like a nice-looking youth (stage direction - eyes Bethany).... But like Zeus' own thunderbolt!
- Chorus: (explaining to each other) No dice...
- TK:I rush at those stupid old dolts!
- Chorus: (explaining to each other) That's vice!
- TK:Observe the unpleasant results! (stage direction - random liberal collapses, screaming)
- Chorus: Not nice.
- TK:Indeed, I rarely tell the truth!
- TK:Oh, innocent Ed Poor, just in time!
- Ed, joining Chorus: That's me!
- TK:If I had played along longer, I'm sure
- Chorus: Like me �
- TK:I should be as empowered as you're!
- Chorus: May be.
- TK:You are very well-powered indeed... Oh, innocents, listen in time!
- Chorus: We doe,
- TK:Avoid an existence of crime!
- Chorus: Just so!
- TK:Or you'll be as ugly as I'm!
- Chorus: (loudly) No! No!
- TK:And now, Andy's work, I'll impede.
Original Lyrics[edit]
- SIR DESPARD: Oh, why am I moody and sad?
- CHORUS: Can't guess!
- SIR DESPARD: And why am I guiltily mad?
- CHORUS: Confess!
- SIR DESPARD: Because I am thoroughly bad!
- CHORUS: Oh yes �
- SIR DESPARD:You'll see it at once in my face. Oh, why am I husky and hoarse?
- CHORUS: Ah, why?
- SIR DESPARD: It's the workings of conscience, of course.
- CHORUS: Fie, fie!
- SIR DESPARD: And huskiness stands for remorse,
- CHORUS: Oh my!
- SIR DESPARD:At least it does so in my case!
- SIR DESPARD:When in crime one is fully employed �
- CHORUS: Like you �
- SIR DESPARD:Your expression gets warped and destroyed:
- CHORUS: It do.
- SIR DESPARD:It's a penalty none can avoid;
- CHORUS: How true!
- SIR DESPARD:I once was a nice-looking youth; But like stone from a strong catapult �
- CHORUS: (explaining to each other) A trice �
- SIR DESPARD:I rushed at my terrible cult �
- CHORUS: (explaining to each other) That's vice �
- SIR DESPARD:Observe the unpleasant result!
- CHORUS: Not nice.
- SIR DESPARD:Indeed I am telling the truth!
- SIR DESPARD:Oh, innocent, happy though poor!
- CHORUS: That's we �
- SIR DESPARD:If I had been virtuous, I'm sure �
- CHORUS: Like me �
- SIR DESPARD:I should be as nice-looking as you're!
- CHORUS: May be.
- SIR DESPARD:You are very nice-looking indeed! Oh, innocents, listen in time �
- CHORUS: We doe,
- SIR DESPARD:Avoid an existence of crime �
- CHORUS: Just so�
- SIR DESPARD:Or you'll be as ugly as I'm�
- CHORUS: (loudly) No! No!
- SIR DESPARD:And now, if you please, we'll proceed.