Fun:Conservapedia, The Musical/Moody

From RationalWiki
Jump to navigation Jump to search
Wigocp.svg This Conservapedia-related article is of largely historical interest and is no longer the focus of RationalWiki today.
Conservapedia (and religious fundamentalism to an extent) was a major focal point in the early history of RationalWiki, but long ago ceased coming up with new ways to appall and amuse.
Our energies are now spent debunking other, fresher examples of pseudoscientific claims, authoritarianism, and deceit.
For RationalWiki's less ancient content, try the Best of RationalWiki.

By caius (pirate), a big fan of Ruddigore

Very Bad Lyrics Written By Someone With No Talent[edit]

Chorus is a chorus of homeschoolers.

  • TK: Oh, why am I crazy and bad?
  • Chorus: Can't guess!
  • TK: And why am I insane and a cad?
  • Chorus: Confess!
  • TK: Because I am thoroughly MAD!
  • Chorus: Oh yes �
  • TK:You'll see it at once in my face. Oh, why am I dumb as a horse?
  • Chorus: Ah, why?
  • TK: It's the beating of puppies, of course.
  • Chorus: Fie, fie!
  • TK: I do it without much remorse!
  • Chorus: Oh my!
  • TK:At least that is so in my case!
  • TK:When your lies you have fully deployed
  • Chorus: Like you �
  • TK:As a sysop you'll soon be employed
  • Chorus: It do.
  • TK: But my penalty none can avoid!
  • Chorus: How true!
  • TK:I would like a nice-looking youth (stage direction - eyes Bethany).... But like Zeus' own thunderbolt!
  • Chorus: (explaining to each other) No dice...
  • TK:I rush at those stupid old dolts!
  • Chorus: (explaining to each other) That's vice!
  • TK:Observe the unpleasant results! (stage direction - random liberal collapses, screaming)
  • Chorus: Not nice.
  • TK:Indeed, I rarely tell the truth!
  • TK:Oh, innocent Ed Poor, just in time!
  • Ed, joining Chorus: That's me!
  • TK:If I had played along longer, I'm sure
  • Chorus: Like me �
  • TK:I should be as empowered as you're!
  • Chorus: May be.
  • TK:You are very well-powered indeed... Oh, innocents, listen in time!
  • Chorus: We doe,
  • TK:Avoid an existence of crime!
  • Chorus: Just so!
  • TK:Or you'll be as ugly as I'm!
  • Chorus: (loudly) No! No!
  • TK:And now, Andy's work, I'll impede.

Original Lyrics[edit]

  • SIR DESPARD: Oh, why am I moody and sad?
  • CHORUS: Can't guess!
  • SIR DESPARD: And why am I guiltily mad?
  • CHORUS: Confess!
  • SIR DESPARD: Because I am thoroughly bad!
  • CHORUS: Oh yes �
  • SIR DESPARD:You'll see it at once in my face. Oh, why am I husky and hoarse?
  • CHORUS: Ah, why?
  • SIR DESPARD: It's the workings of conscience, of course.
  • CHORUS: Fie, fie!
  • SIR DESPARD: And huskiness stands for remorse,
  • CHORUS: Oh my!
  • SIR DESPARD:At least it does so in my case!
  • SIR DESPARD:When in crime one is fully employed �
  • CHORUS: Like you �
  • SIR DESPARD:Your expression gets warped and destroyed:
  • CHORUS: It do.
  • SIR DESPARD:It's a penalty none can avoid;
  • CHORUS: How true!
  • SIR DESPARD:I once was a nice-looking youth; But like stone from a strong catapult �
  • CHORUS: (explaining to each other) A trice �
  • SIR DESPARD:I rushed at my terrible cult �
  • CHORUS: (explaining to each other) That's vice �
  • SIR DESPARD:Observe the unpleasant result!
  • CHORUS: Not nice.
  • SIR DESPARD:Indeed I am telling the truth!
  • SIR DESPARD:Oh, innocent, happy though poor!
  • CHORUS: That's we �
  • SIR DESPARD:If I had been virtuous, I'm sure �
  • CHORUS: Like me �
  • SIR DESPARD:I should be as nice-looking as you're!
  • CHORUS: May be.
  • SIR DESPARD:You are very nice-looking indeed! Oh, innocents, listen in time �
  • CHORUS: We doe,
  • SIR DESPARD:Avoid an existence of crime �
  • CHORUS: Just so�
  • SIR DESPARD:Or you'll be as ugly as I'm�
  • CHORUS: (loudly) No! No!
  • SIR DESPARD:And now, if you please, we'll proceed.