Fun:Grand Canyon
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Tired of laughing? RationalWiki has a slightly more serious article about Grand Canyon. |
Okay, see, billlyuns and billlyuns of years ago, geologic blah blah paleozoic strata blah blah evolution blah blah uplift blah erosion blah
In 3000 B.C. (before Christ), God caused a global flood over all the earth. Noah did take anywhere between two and seven of every creature onto Noah's Ark and had himself a floating zoo swamp for a few months. The Bible says the waters did then dissipate. This is probably what created the Grand Canyon. All that water runoff had to go somewhere so it ran down this big ditch into the Pacific Ocean at five times the speed of sound. Noah parked his ark temporarily at the Grand Canyon to offload a few offsprings and some of the species God had told him to offload at that place, such as Abert's Squirrel, juniper and pinyon bushes, and assorted gnats, flies, and no-see-ums, before sailing on to Australia to offload a pair of kangaroos (plus a special side-trip just for the Tasmanian Devil). This makes Noah the first person to navigate around the globe, more than 3000 years before Ferdinand Magellan did run the Grand Canyon in a boat. Eat your heart out John Wesley Powell!
The National Park Service and the public school system are involved in a conspiracy to cover up this truth about the Grand Canyon.
Signed,