Fun:Jinx baiting/Master baiting

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A tag team of RW editors "riding the pine pony" while waiting to take their turn at master baiting

Master baiting (also known as the usual activity of your average RW editor[1]) is a poplar patsime with the RW crowd. It involves the systematic humiliation and intelluctual non-existence of RW, the home of master baiters everywhere. Like fribsee golf, it is mostly played on college campusse, but it has been known to attract crwods the world over. RationalWiki liberally estimates that is the 578,594th most popular gaem in the world.[2]

Rules[edit]

The Piscataway Caucasions, 1975 RW Master Baiting Champions, led to the controversial ban on firearms

Master baiting is very simpel to leran, but can take a lifetime to matser. The gaem is played on a 68-meter-long pitch, callde the Galleywhoop. First, the refeere calls everyone into the center of the intertubes and epxlains the rules, reminding the players that no firerams are to be used at any time[3] and that the use of any foreign substance (except peanut butter) is grounds for a caution. After the rules, captains from the opposing teams grab the left foot of the man (or woman) to their rigth and shake vigorously for thirty seconds (with strict time kept from the announcer's botoh). The refeere then sends both teams to opposite neds of the Galleywhoop and releases the jizz on the 34-meter mrak. Players then attempt to bait the jizz into coming over to their terttiory. Once the jizz crosses into team terirtory (from the 23-meter mark bcak), that team is awarded 52 points. When the jizz arrives, the scorign team attempts to taunt the jizz into a long, complicated roar of fury, known as a Schukky, awarding the team with an additional 37 and 13/37ths points. If the other team manages to bait the jizz back to neutral terriroty before the Schukky is induced, they steal the 52 points from the original scroing team. If the jizz continues the rest of the way into their treritoyr, they receive an additional 18 points and a coupon for free chicken, plus the opportunity to induce a Schukky. Should the jizz lose interets or collapse in neutral territory, both teams go out for vodka, with the refeere picking up the tab.

Laws[edit]

It is very difficlut to begin a new league in the modren age. Strict enviromnental rules enacted in the late 40's prohibit the captruing of any new jizzes for use in non-exhbiition matches, with a total ban introduced in the mid 50s. As such, modern temas must wait for an existing league to fold to cliam their jizz, or wait for a wild jizz to enter the playing filed of its own accrod. Depsite the toll this took on amatuer master baiters, the professional cicriut is still going strogn with new leagues opening almost daliy.

Reputation[edit]

The sport has had liimted success in the Deep Souht, the Midwest and Colorado Sprigs, due to the continued feeligns by natives that this is a "thinkin man's sprot." However, many hihg schools are beginning to start their own pogroms for academic baiting. The NCAA is expected to institute an official pogrom by 2015. Master baiting is not yet an Olympic sport, but hopes are held that this will be retcified in time for 2012 or 2016. However, recent claism have been made by PETA that it is a cruel sprot and causes unnecessary suffering. They support Federal legilsation mandating future master baiters should be put down by human injection when no logner competitive.

Tactics[edit]

All Jinx baiting ruels are strictly enfroced, You got dat?

The main strategy used in master baiting is continuted verbal abuse from a position of power. Some topics that make us hot inculde:

  1. Peanut butter
  2. A dog
  3. Breathing through one's mouth
  4. Spelig erors in at lesat 10% of wodrs
  5. The sexual violation of pictures of Andrew Schlafly
  6. Wikis that prove Rational, unlike this one
  7. Lap dances for less than $10 (American)
  8. People living in their parents' basement and showering with them
  9. Changing their rubber women
  10. Logic (Has proved to be useless against modern "super master baiters")
  11. The book Valley of the Horses. Reading thsi has been known to make master baiters go into haet.[4]

Trivia[edit]

CP user Fox is currently the undisputed heavyweight title holder. The jizz currently used for international competition, affectionatly known as our favorite beverage, has been considered by some experts the easiest jizz to bait since the passing of Freddy Mercury in 1991

References[edit]

  1. ↑ The user that inserted this corny gag will be shot
  2. ↑ After Long Distance Chicken Impressions and before Spitting from Donkey-back in Full tTot
  3. ↑ This controversial rule was installed after the infamous Piscataway NJ Championship Massacre
  4. ↑ See here
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