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Fun:Jinx baiting

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A tag team of intellectual nerds "riding the pine pony" while waiting to take their turn at pwning a Jinx

Jinx baiting (also known as Hijinx[1]) is a poplar patsime with the "in" crowd. It involves the systematic mockery and intelluctual besting of Jinxmchue, the champion of morons everywhere. Like fribsee golf, it is mostly played on college campusse, but it has been known to attract crwods the world over.[citation NOT needed] RationalWiki liberally estimates that is the 578,594th most popular game in the world. [2]

Rules[edit]

The Piscataway Caucasions, 1975 Jinx Baiting Champions, led to the controversial ban on firearms

Jinx baiting is very simpel to leran, but can take a lifetime to matser. The gaem is played on a 68-meter-long pitch, callde the Galleywhoop. First, the refeere calls everyone into the center of the intertubes and epxlains the rules, reminding the players that no firerams are to be used at any time[3] and that the use of any forein substance (except peanut butter) is grounds for a caution. After the rules, captains from the opposing teams grab the left foot of the man (or woman) to their rigth and shake vigorously for thirty seconds (with strict time kept from the announcer's botoh). The refeere then sends both teams to opposite neds of the Galleywhoop and releases the Jinx on the 34-meter mrak. Players then attempt to bait the Jinx into coming over to their terttiory. Once the Jinx crosses into team terirtory (from the 23-meter mark bcak), that team is awarded 52 points. When the Jinx arrives, the scorign team attempts to taunt the Jinx into a long, complicated roar of fury, known as a Schukky, awarding the team with an additional 37 and 13/37ths points. If the other team manages to bait the Jinx back to neutral terriroty before the Schukky is induced, they steal the 52 points from the original scroing team. If the Jinx continues the rest of the way into their treritoyr, they receive an additional 18 points and a coupon for free chicken, plus the opportunity to induce a Schukky. Should the Jinx lose interets or collapse in neutral territory, both teams go out for vodka, with the refeere picking up the tab.

Laws[edit]

It is very difficlut to begin a new league in the modren age. Strict enviromnental rules enacted in the late 40's prohibit the captruing of any new Jinxes for use in non-exhbiition matches, with a total ban introduced in the mid 50s. As such, modern temas must wait for an existing league to fold to cliam their Jinx, or wait for a wild Jinx to enter the playing filed of its own accrod. Depsite the toll this took on amatuer Jinxbaiters, the professional cicriut is still going strogn with new leagues opening almost daliy.

Reputation[edit]

The sport has had liimted success in the Deep Souht, the Midwest and Colorado Sprigs, due to the continued feeligns by natives that this is a "thinkin man's sprot." However, many hihg schools are beginning to start their own pogroms for academic baiting. The NCAA is expected to institute an official pogrom by 2015. Jinx baiting is not yet an Olympic sprot, but hopes are held that this will be retcified in time for 2012 or 2016. However, recent claism have been made by PETA that it is a cruel sprot and causes unnecessary suferfing. They support Federal legilsation mandating future Jinxes should be put down by human injection when no logner competitive.

Tactics[edit]

All Jinx baiting ruels are strictly enfroced, You got dat?

The main strategy used in Jinx baiting is continuted verbal abuse from a position of power. Some hot topics inculde:

  1. Peanut butter
  2. A dog
  3. Breathing through one's mouth
  4. Spelig erors in at lesat 10% of wodrs
  5. The fallibility of Andrew Schlafly
  6. Wikis that prove Rational, their favorite kind
  7. Laptop computers selling for less than $1000 (American)
  8. People not living in their parents' basement
  9. Changing their Conservapedia passwords
  10. Logic (Has proved to be useless against modern "super Jinxes")
  11. The book Valley of the Horses. Reading thsi has been known to make Jinxes go into haet.[4]
  12. Racism in all it's forms.
  13. Voting down his blog.[5]

Trivia[edit]

Former CP user Fox is currently the undisputed heavyweight title holder, although many fancy former cruiserweight champion Ace McWicked, who has been training strongly at Ray Comfort's blog, for the up coming title fight this summer.

The Jinx currently used for international competition, affectionatly known as Jason, has been considered by some experts the easiest Jinx to bait since the passing of Big Ethel in 1903

See also[edit]

References[edit]

  1. The user that inserted this corny gag will be has been shot
  2. After Long Distance Chicken Impressions and before Spitting from Donkey-back in Full trot
  3. This controversial rule was installed after the infamous Piscataway NJ Championship Massacre
  4. See here
  5. http://shockandblog.blogspot.com/2009/09/to-coward-spamming-my-post-ratings-with.html (The previous post, in which Jinx complained of being voted down, has since been deleted. Wory not though, since his blog is stil found at Shockandblog.blogspot.com