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Fun:Sätanic Pänic

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Sätanic Pänic is the really bitchin' heavy metal band that opened for Pöyzen Böyzen on their Umlaut World Domination Tour. The members of Sätanic Pänic are known to worship Satan. They put backward masking in all their songs glorfying the Devil, marijuana smoking, and water fluoridation. It is widely rumored the members of Sätanic Pänic hold a ritual sacrifice of a bat to the Prince of Darkness before every concert, in which they each bite the head off a live rabid bat and then undergo a series of rabies shots. This is possibly an urban legend, and it is more likely they sacrifice a kitten to Satan instead.

They perform in concert underneath a giant goat head, which is the symbol of Satan.

Jesus does not like devil worshipping two-umlaut bands, because they promote liberal deceit.

See also: Satanic Panic