Fun:Sham quantum physics

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(Sham) Quantum physics of shams (a.k.a pillow covers)!

Sham quantum mechanics (SQM) is a branch of physics developed to deal with shams and their interactions with the pillow. Most of the foundations of SQM were formulated on the spot. Modern sham quantum physics has advanced considerably, and is used extensively in the study of materials used to make pillows and shams, including biological research and astrology.

One of the awesome things SQM explains is why bodily fluids is absorbed or emitted by shams[note 1]. This in turn explains why shams need to be laundered at a specific frequency. SQM also attempts to explain a host of other phenomena, like the tendency of people spinning pillows, why "cervical pillows" has nothing to do with the cervix, why people put magnets into their shams and pillows, why people don't use metals to make shams, and more.

SQM is a way of constructing "theories" rather than a single theory about anything. The most developed quantum theory to date is known as the "standard model", which describes most of the commonly used pillows and shams used today.

Wave function[edit]

The sham will collapse to conform to the shape of the corresponding pillow. And have you seen one of those wavy pillows? They are called "cervical pillows".

Spin[edit]

Shams have spin in the direction of the pillows they are with, as seen in here

Forces[edit]

  • Gravitational: Oh noes! The sham is sucking your head into a gravitational singularity!
  • Electromagnetic: People put magnets into their pillow. What is so strange with that?
  • Strong/Weak nuclear: ONOZ! Don't tell me my sham will nuke my house any moment!

Uncertainty principle[edit]

The principle of uncertainty: when a heterosexual couple shop for shams, neither person will have any method of knowing whether their partner likes any particular/type design to any arbitrary accuracy. Asking questions on such topic is usually met by negative response[note 2].

See also[edit]

Notes[edit]

  1. As if "Diffusion" and "Osmosis" aren't enough.
  2. Such as "You are supposed to know that" and "Huh, what was that?" (may follow with some acts of violence)