RationalWiki:Annotated Qur'an/The Shaking

Annotated Qur'an
Sura 99: The Shaking
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Qur'an 99:1 When the earth is shaken with its quake.	Qur'an 99:1 Notes A world wide Earthquake would indeed scare the s*** out of everyone...which is what Allah wants to do.

Qur'an 99:2 And the earth brings out its loads.	Qur'an 99:2 Notes A world wide Earth quake would leave the surface of the Earth a pure field of magma, so are the bodies of these people to be judged now in soul-mode or semi-soul mode?

Qur'an 99:3 And man says, “What is the matter with it?”	Qur'an 99:3 Notes While people's houses are crashing down on them and bodies are crushed and brains splatter, mankind has time to ask "what is this all about in the larger picture"?

Qur'an 99:4 On that Day, it will tell its tales.

Qur'an 99:4 Notes Those who believe that a single word of this book is true, will report that this terrifying event is just the beginning of a much more disturbing and convoluted festival of "judgement", so to speak. The opening ceremonies will be delightfully grotesque and the closing ceremonies (years later) will be a solemn and reflective moment for the charred corpses and those with their one way ticket to joy or the underground torture chamber.

Qur'an 99:5 For your Lord will have inspired it.	Qur'an 99:5 Notes Because God says people's bodies will be crushed and brains will splatter and people's behaviour will be forensically analysed...and by gosh there will be mayhem and guts and moral calculations!

Qur'an 99:6 On that Day, the people will emerge in droves, to be shown their works.

Qur'an 99:6 Notes Perhaps those who only lived to early childhood will be placed on Hawaii's main island and those who are rickety old war veterans stay in Malta while tender virgins get Qtar and so on. The forensic accounting will require the help of the NSA I assume with detailed analysis that will take years. For every person being held account for...there will be an angel...meanining there are as many forensic accounting angels as there are people. The logistics and training for this alone...could only be pulled off by a large corporation like Google or by a sky tyrrant!

Qur'an 99:7 Whoever has done an atom's weight of good will see it.	Qur'an 99:7 Notes Every thought and action of yours can be objectively divided into good or bad and can be plotted as so on an excel spreadsheet. Action X00000000001 through action X0000001000000 are likely to be good because you were a baby and certainly are not accountable for such actions...though I wouldn't put it past Allah to judge you badly for tripping over a shoe.

Qur'an 99:8 And whoever has done an atom's weight of evil will see it.	Qur'an 99:8 Notes Hopefully there will be food and refreshments cause this will take a long time. There should also be Councillors on hand because humans being judged negatively on pedantically unimportant events usually ends up with them all going insane (which is maybe the point?)