Think of codfish.
Think of filleting this codfish.
Think of pickling it in brine for several days.
Think of storing it until the holidays.
Think of letting it soak in a vat of lye and water (to improve the flavor).
Think of rinsing it several times with fresh batches of water.
Think of cooking it at 350°F for 30 minutes.
Think of eating it.
Think of how nasty it's going to be spending the holidays in the hospital
Take one codfish.
Nail the codfish to an wooden board, preferably oak.
Pickle the the board and fish, as above.
Store for about a year, then rinse.
Throw away the fish.