Potkäse ("pot-cheese") is an old regional dish from Southern Denmark. It is prepared in the following manner:
- Take about 200 grams (7 ounces) of cheese. The exact type doesn't matter, but it should be as ancient as physically possible.
- Cut/grate the cheese in small pieces (if necessary/possible) and put in a medium-sized pot.
- Add whiskey, akvavit and/or other spirits according to taste and preference.
- Leave pot in refrigerator for about two weeks, stirring briefly once a day, until the potkäse has a smooth texture.
- Consume on dark bread.
- Will keep for at least six months (some sources say indefinitely).
Husbands! You may find your significant other taking irrational exception to the presence of potkäse in your house. Should this happen, you may need to know that in its regions of origin, interference with a potkäse (such as hiding it in a nearby forest or, failing that, the garden) is customarily considered valid grounds for divorce. Be aware, however, that some wives have been known to make surprising decisions when faced with a choice between keeping their husbands and getting rid of the potkäse. Proceed with caution.
- Welsh rarebit - The same concept, but without the ridiculous waiting time. According to the Welsh, this proves that they are at least as smart as the Danes. The Danes would reply that it is exactly the long fermentation period that makes potkäse so superior, and that this is a delicate process that should never be rushed.